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Sinking lower and lower

valleygirl

valleygirl

Well-known member
Joined
Apr 5, 2015
Messages
1,927
Location
Valley of dry bones
I don't know what to do. Depression and anxiety. I'm sinking down so low. I don't want to be alive.
 
blacksmoke

blacksmoke

Well-known member
Joined
Dec 26, 2015
Messages
9,385
Location
basketville
Hello Valleygirl really sorry that you are feeling so low
 
valleygirl

valleygirl

Well-known member
Joined
Apr 5, 2015
Messages
1,927
Location
Valley of dry bones
Thank you for your replies. I almost started crying when I was with my family tonight. My sister and brother-in-law are from out of town, so we've been having and extended Christmas celebration with them. My sister just cannot leave well enough alone and quit asking me about going to church. I've been having a lot of painful memories resurfacing - probably because they took place in the context of the church I used to go to. I know I have not forgiven. I have not processed my grief in relation to that situation. So at religious holidays such as Christmas and Easter those feelings get triggered in a bad way. I don't know how to process my grief. I did go through a period of grieving - I would cry inconsolably for long periods of time every day. But I got to a point where I knew crying wasn't helping, so I began to push the tears down. But tonight, in the middle of playing a game with several family members, I almost broke down in tears. I haven't told my family how depressed I've been. I was trying to not let it show because no one wants to be around someone as miserable as I actually am.
 
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