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Single with a new baby

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PaigeTWoods

Well-known member
Joined
Jan 6, 2019
Messages
45
Hi mams and dads.

I just want To write down how I am feeling now so thought I would do it here and see if anyone can relate.

I am a new mammy, baby is 5 months, and I am trying to care for her myself.

I was in an unhappy relationship with her dad for several years and we split while I was pregnant. When baby came dad came to stay with me to help me look after her and we were going to try give it another shot but I just couldnt live that life anymore.

now I think I made a mistake. I don’t think Ican care for the baby myself. It is really taking its toll on me. I love my baby so much but I am really not maternal and caring for her does not come natural to me. I find myself longing for the day to end so I can go back to bed. I am constantly exhausted and unmotivated. I feel like my whole body is aching.

I don’t want to live like this anymore it’s so hard, but going back to my partner will destroy my soul. Anyone out there relate? If so anything help you? Does it get easier?
 
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Zoe1

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Joined
Jul 8, 2019
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12,359
Location
Nowhere
you don't have to be in a relationship with him
he can just come and stay and help you with the baby
 
Fairy Lucretia

Fairy Lucretia

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Joined
Apr 9, 2011
Messages
36,272
Location
Magical fairy wonderland xxxx
hi ,it doesn't sound like you want to be in a relationship with your ex ,but as zoe says he could just come and help out? would you rather family supported you? if you have any
please come on here and we will support you the best we can
you are very welcome here love and hugs x Lu x
 
Fairy Lucretia

Fairy Lucretia

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Apr 9, 2011
Messages
36,272
Location
Magical fairy wonderland xxxx
do you have a nurse come and support you with looking after the baby like most new mums do?
if not could you ask for some support from your gp?
we are here for you please let us know how you get on x
 
Murasakibee

Murasakibee

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Joined
Aug 25, 2020
Messages
309
Location
Midwest USA
Hi mams and dads.

I just want To write down how I am feeling now so thought I would do it here and see if anyone can relate.

I am a new mammy, baby is 5 months, and I am trying to care for her myself.

I was in an unhappy relationship with her dad for several years and we split while I was pregnant. When baby came dad came to stay with me to help me look after her and we were going to try give it another shot but I just couldnt live that life anymore.

now I think I made a mistake. I don’t think Ican care for the baby myself. It is really taking its toll on me. I love my baby so much but I am really not maternal and caring for her does not come natural to me. I find myself longing for the day to end so I can go back to bed. I am constantly exhausted and unmotivated. I feel like my whole body is aching.

I don’t want to live like this anymore it’s so hard, but going back to my partner will destroy my soul. Anyone out there relate? If so anything help you? Does it get easier?
Heya fellow single mom here!

I'm not saying you should do this alone but I'll share a bit of my story

At the beginning I searched and searched for a support for myself and my baby, but I just kept landing back into toxicity and it just made my relationship with my son worst. It was horrible. My family hasn't been very helpful to me all the time (some are amazing though, but they have never really helped with the baby)

Let you tell you something, mothering isn't just something that comes naturally. It comes to you over time (at least it did for me). My mom had always told me that but it was hard to believe. It's not as magical as it seems but as you watch your baby grow, after all those tired nights and cranky days, it's well worth it. It's a feeling hard to describe. It does get easier. I've talked to a lot.of other mom's and a guilty secret a lot.of them hold is: they don't feel "maternal" towards their baby, they have no idea what to do and they just feel frustrated. They feel isolated because of those feelings even though they are normal, but the world makes it seem like it's not.

There were times (many times) I cried, from the isolation, the confusion, the EXHAUSTION. There were times I got angry at.my baby and that's okay, it doesn't make you a bad mom and it doesn't mean you hate your baby. (Sometimes it.felt like I really hated my son). Anger is natural and it's something I had to learn. All those feelings are natural and if you are feeling them it's okay, you aren't a bad unloving mom, you just need a helping hand.

Exhaustion is very natural, babies are difficult and they take a lot of physical and emotional energy. Babies are very isolating too.

I do wish I had more support but I don't reccomend getting support from someone toxic to you. It'll only make things worst. Do you have family that you can lean on? Maybe you could seek out a support system. I know that hard during a global pandemic. Friends?

Things are hard right now, but it does get better!

I am sorry things are so hard for you right now. Just know I've got your back.

And please remember.

BABIES ARE HARD. You are doing the best you can and I really hope you can find a way to take a break, you deserve it.
 
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PaigeTWoods

Well-known member
Joined
Jan 6, 2019
Messages
45
Thanks so much for the support guys. I really appreciate it!
 
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