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Silence and Dating Someone with Social Anxiety. Please Help Me to Understand

I

inlinetothethrone

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May 8, 2017
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Silence and Dating Someone with Social Anxiety. Please Help Me to Understand

I have been dating a man with anxiety for 6 months. He is loving, funny and intelligent. We have similar interests and loving expressions.

Near the beginning of our relationship he expressed doubts about himself. That he was too shy, quiet and boring for me. He thinks I need things I don't. I am totally satisfied with him (more) and am not as outgoing and together as he perceives me to be.

He has had trauma in his childhood and has been cheated on. He's also been broken up with because of 'being too quiet'.

This is my question: He has completely stopped communicating. Except to apologize that he is overwhelmed and having self-doubts. He has a very high-pressure job at nights and he is tired and stressed. I initially tried to convince him I would never leave him and that I find him fascinating and love him. This did not help at all.

I told him I would give him time and be patient. My question is this: Is giving him time the right thing to do? Have you ever told someone they are too good for you or you don't know if you can be who they deserve? Is it too late if he has stopped communicating? How is it best for me to handle things?

I am not 'taking his issues on' and know he has to come to realizations himself. I am wondering how best to support him?
 
S

SJLPHII

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Mar 26, 2017
Messages
124
Unfortunately having dealt with ex-girlfriends with depression, and with self-image(and self-doubt) issues. The best support we can give them is to give them space, and let them work it through. The more you try, the more you'll end up pushing them away.
 
I

inlinetothethrone

New member
Joined
May 8, 2017
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2
Unfortunately having dealt with ex-girlfriends with depression, and with self-image(and self-doubt) issues. The best support we can give them is to give them space, and let them work it through. The more you try, the more you'll end up pushing them away.
I think this is true and I am experiencing it.

Do you find that giving this space actually leads to successful relationships in the long run?

From what I am reading in literature and from people irl, this silence between couples seems to be a death knell for relationships :low:
 
S

SJLPHII

Well-known member
Joined
Mar 26, 2017
Messages
124
Having been the kind person who always pushed them. I wouldn't know, but I have heard from some friends that it has worked for other people.

We can't do anything, the least we can do is not to agitate them
 
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