• Share. Be Supported. Recover.

    We are a friendly, safe community supporting each other's mental health. We are open 24 hours a day, 365 days a year.

Sick of everything going wrong and ready to jack it all in

L

Lostsoul49

Member
Joined
Jul 10, 2021
Messages
19
Location
Chorley England
Where do I start?
As the title suggests, nothing seems to go right for me!
I am approaching 50 and am completely on my own! I have no friends, hardly ever go out and feel totally forgotten about!
I have no partner. I must be so hideous and stupid that nobody would ever want to get close to me. I hate myself so how on earth would anyone else want to love me?
I have a job as a supply teacher. I can’t get a permanent job because I’m too old and expensive. I’ve tried looking for jobs abroad but I’m not hopeful.
My home will soon be gone. Now my mum has died it has to be sold to pay for her care fees. I’ve got some family who could take me in but I just feel a burden.
When I look around, it appears that everyone I know has happy lives. There is no fun in my life, only darkness. I never go anywhere or meet new people because I’m afraid of rejection. I was badly bullied as a teenager and this has never left me.
I know I am depressed. I can’t see a way out and there are times when I feel like ending it all to be free of the pain I always seem to carry.
I would appreciate some advice on how to stop feeling this way. Please don’t say just get out and join clubs or meet ups. I’ve tried that. I go alone and leave alone and struggle to make connections. I guess I’m just destined to be alone and live this miserable existence for the rest of my life.
I’m sorry that this post is so negative. I just have nothing positive to say about myself! 😥
 
LoqLamp

LoqLamp

Well-known member
Joined
Jul 26, 2021
Messages
1,061
Location
UK
I mean a lot of what you’ve said is likely only true to you. I would go see a doctor or a therapist in order to get some outside perspective.
 
A

Alexander Ypsilantis

Former member
Joined
Mar 3, 2020
Messages
1,703
Location
USA
Could you bring a pet into your life? I'm pretty much a loner, but I own a dog (was 2 dogs, but one passed away 2 months ago). They're great company and taking care of them gives some purpose to my life other than my occupation and taking care of the home. I find the company of dogs preferable to a lot of people, because they never judge you-they love you for what you are. Also, have a dog is a good way to meet other people-other pet owners. Walking your dog will get you out, distract you from your other problems and offer you an opportunity to interact with other folks. Living by yourself with no other creature companions is not a good way to live-if you have depression already, it'll make it worse. Good luck.
 
Joe57

Joe57

Former member
Joined
Sep 28, 2021
Messages
201
Location
US Pacific NW
Sorry about your mom, I know how difficult that is

even worse that you have other issues to deal with. Best thing is to try to deal with them one at a time, not get overwhelmed by thinking about the whole group at once

I know what you said about meetup suggestions but what about church? People there tend to be easier to get to know than your typical meetup group

also wondering what is a supply teacher if you care to share?
 
S

SadRainbow

Former member
Joined
Aug 5, 2021
Messages
2,657
Location
Norfolk
I'm really sorry about your mum ❤️

And I'm sorry you're so sad and lonely. Seeing your doctor would be the first step I think. Going out for walks is also a good idea - walking really helped me last time I had a major depression (really need to get going with it again soon).

I think a dog is a great idea too 🙂
 
Karmaman

Karmaman

Well-known member
Joined
Apr 15, 2021
Messages
2,335
Location
North West
Hi @Lostsoul49 I hear where your coming from. I'm of a similar age. A lifetime of depression and anxiety...lost a lot along the way including friends...a few family members who have their own lives to get on with. I feel frozen with fear about my future...Hard to make decisions and no self esteem to meet new people.
Things I should be doing today but I can't seem to move myself.
 
B

Bod

Former member
Joined
Jul 19, 2021
Messages
7,860
Location
Pretty Good
I am sorry to hear about your mother I really am.
My life started when I turned 40 as I have battled depression and many other mental health issues from the age of 10 right up to today and I am now 60 but actually being told I look only 40 as not one grey hair on my head. I agree with others saying maybe see a doctor or even a therapist/counsellor and then they can help you through the troubles and you might then be able to start again in your life as you are still young and have plenty of time to have the help in your life.
 
L

Lostsoul49

Member
Joined
Jul 10, 2021
Messages
19
Location
Chorley England
I have read your responses and the first thing I want to say is thank you.
I’ve tried most of things you’ve suggested. The doctor just gives you antidepressants and therapy only appears to me a short term fix.
I’d love a pet but might be moving abroad and would probably struggle to take them with me.
A supply teacher is the British equivalent of a substitute teacher.
Walking does help as I can clear my head and j enjoy taking in the things around me.
I just want something in my life to go right for once. I’ve forgotten what that feels like!!
I’m sorry to sound so negative. I’m just so used to feeling like such a failure that it’s become a habit!
 
T

treasurebox

Well-known member
Joined
Aug 14, 2018
Messages
533
Location
Philippines
Try music therapy. Music helps me. Listen to uplifting, motivational, happy, and encouraging songs on youtube, spotify, or soundcloud daily. It will make you think and feel better.

Do something that you love like a hobby. What are you good at? Do it because it can become your career or business.

It will do you good to see a doctor or a therapist.
 

Recalcitrant78

Former member
Joined
Aug 8, 2021
Messages
132
Location
Southampton
I'm truly sorry bud to hear about your circumstances. Hit home in so many ways I can't tell you.

I'm here because I am also depressed and as such I don't feel qualified to give advice, especially as just a few years ago I was "you" in very many ways.

I hope it works out for you. Life changed, dramatically, in a good way for me a few years ago, after decades. This happened despite my ongoing depression and thinking low of myself so I'm sure it can happen to anyone.
 
T

trs319

Active member
Joined
Oct 13, 2021
Messages
29
Location
North Carolina
You've got to take small steps. Realize that your current life situation is not your fault
and nothing you can't handle. There are some great suggestions up there, especially music,
which works well for me.

Think about your positive qualities. You appear to be intelligent, honest, and have good
self awareness. I often feel the way you do, that I am cut off from other people and have
no future, but I do small things every day that, while not always monumental accomplishment,
make me feel better. Find something you are good at and keep doing it, set realistic goals
for yourself, and never give up!
 

Similar threads

coldwater00
Replies
10
Views
1K
my-straightjacket-please
M
B
Replies
4
Views
5K
Beautiful-Disaster
B
R
Replies
8
Views
940
randomjedi
R
Top