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Sick and tired of feeling sick and tired

  • Thread starter Lolli_Liability
  • Start date
L

Lolli_Liability

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Sep 3, 2009
Messages
838
Living with bpd and dealing with my trauma is apsaloutly exhausting. I'm so drained. The suicidal ideation is creeping back in and I hate that. I often debate what the point in my life is. I've been gardening lately. I mean planting some plants doesn't give me purpose that the reality of this.

My moods cycle so much and I keep feeling up and down. But the lows are so low they really are. I am fighting my urges to self harm and my goodness that is exhausting it really is. I want to be able to live without thinking of it. I also am fighting a gambling addiction my therapist thinks was a result of bpd. So a symptom. But that's draining me to I'm fighting all my coping mechanisms and that is hard.

I don't want to be here and I don't want to be doing this right now.

Lolli xx
 
babyblue22

babyblue22

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Jan 23, 2019
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289
Location
Uk
Know how you feel. It’s bloody exhausting every single day!
Keep trying, your not on your own ❤
 
HLon99

HLon99

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Apr 15, 2020
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812
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London, UK
Oh, but you do; think of all the things that you'll be leaving behind and all the chances you'll miss if you go. Stick with it. You never know when your about to turn a corner, might be sooner than you think.
 
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lemontree

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Jan 1, 2021
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Home
I lived about ten years of my life feeling this way and sometimes it comes creeping back. I understand that feeling that you describe.

The best answer, the one that I use myself, is this: you just have to keep going. It isn't much but you will not gain the resilience you seek if you do not build on those "muscles" that give it to you; i.e., the neurological pathways that need to be built over time and a lot of repetition.

It's not a great answer but it is the truth - I can confidently say that it works but it does take time and a lot of effort, sometimes more than you feel like you have. But you need to keep proving yourself wrong and seeing that your ability to fight is getting stronger :)
 
A

AppleJacks99

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Joined
May 4, 2021
Messages
24
Location
Arkansas
I feel the same way. I feel like a broken record nobody understands...I would say I hope you feel better, but I'm feeling that too. I've been trying to get out in nature more...
 
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