Should I tell parents my diagnosis?

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bitterbailey

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Hi, I'm Bailey. I'm new here, I'm 27 and just got diagnosed with Bipolar 2 and borderline personality disorder. I've always had bouts of depression, anxiety, and 'hypo mania' they call it, but up till now I have just referred to it as 'happy-go-lucky' me. So when I was a kid and I asked for help from my parents, they pretty much told me to get over it, and I was too self involved... the one time they took me to the psychward was when I self harmed at 17. The doc there told there was nothing wrong with me I was just seeking attention. (Probably because I was mean to him and not honest).

Anyway, my parents have never believed in mental illness and just considered me to be an a hole... which is ironic because the pdoc said the BPD and bp2 stemmed from verbal abuse and no emotional support as a child. Should I even bother telling them I got diagnosed and am taking meds and am going to be in therapy for the rest of my life? I want them to understand, but I am not sure they will.
 
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Tatty

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Hi, :welcome:

I'm sorry you've been treated so badly, both by the doctor at the hospital and by your parents. Your parents should be supportive during difficult times and it seems they've failed at that.

It's totally up to you if you choose to tell your parents. Although if they don't want to understand now then sadly I don't think they'll ever understand.

It's possible they're afraid of mental illness and don't know much about it if you are the first person they've encountered with a mental illness.

If you want to tell them, maybe you could download a leaflet about bipolar and ask them to read it? Or leave a webpage open for them to look at? I find info by 'Mind' quite useful and easy to follow. Here is a web page about the condition, although some info won't be relevant or useful as it's a UK site.

Hope this helps, and all the best, whatever you decide to do
 
Foxjo

Foxjo

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hi ya bailey
welcome to the forum,
im sorry your parents didnt understand. sometimes they dont, it depends on their generation, depends on how they were brought up and depends on their idea of mental illness.
you cannot help having BPD. your doctor has confirmed it and i hope now you are getting the treatment you need.
talk to your parents and who cares if your on meds for the rest of your life- as long as they are helping you ???
keep talking
Fox
 
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bitterbailey

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Thanks Bob, I appreciate the link, I may forward it to them (they live far away). And I agree Fox, and the meds are helping and ultimately, I just want a happy healthy life. But I've decided to tell them anyways, next time they call. Just because they are my parents, and whether they understand or not, I try not to keep anything from them, and I've decided not to let their opinion of it impact my healing. It is what it is. :)
 
rebecca15

rebecca15

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Hay, I can completely relate to this. My parents are from that generation where depression doesn't exist. they think that pulling yourselt together and going for a long walk solves everything. if only it were that easy i waould have done it by now!! My mum isn't aware of whats going on, she doesn't live locally so there is no fear of her just poping in, thank god! i have been advised to tell her but that would just cause me more stress and anxiety or the interigation. The false pretenses are hard and in a way i wish i could tell her. This generation thing is a nightmare. i know that she deffo wouldn't understand and would probably see it as a weakness. So for me its easier this way.
 
Foxjo

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Hi BitterBailey
just dropping by to see how you are getting on?
Fox
xx
 
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bitterbailey

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Yeah Becca, I am back and forth on this. My parents have been waiting and expecting me to 'snap out of it' and pull myself together since I was about 9. And Fox I talked to my parents today, but they were so indisposed with gossip about trivial things, I didn't bother. I may wait until they come out to visit. Or snail mail them a hand written letter and a printout. I dunno. No rush I guess. I have more important things to worry about now. Thanks for checking in Fox! And thanks for your input Rebecca!
 
rebecca15

rebecca15

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Hi mate, my mum is also preoccuoied with the trivial things of who's done and said what. when her brother went on antidepressants she said that he shouldn't be taking them because they are so addictive! this seems to be the perception for alot of people. just wish she would get her facts right before handing out advice!! You'll know when the time is right if you want to tell them. Don't feel pressured in to it. maybe get some info for them. Your right, a hand written letter might be the way to go. they can sit and read it and your more likely to be more open. Anyway let us know how it goes mate.
xx
 

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