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Should I tell my fiance that I have a drinking problem?

TulipIceCream

TulipIceCream

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Sep 5, 2019
Messages
316
Location
On The Train
He says he knows I drink by myself and it worries him when he comes home from work and I am drunk.he said he used to drink a lot too and understood why I do it.

I have missed class from being passed out drunk and lied to him and said class was cancelled or short. I don't like to lie but I was too embarrassed. I wrote in the anxiety forum how I got drunk and blacked out on the train. I know he would be shocked and maybe not want to be with me anymore. But on the other hand I think that with a severe problem like mine I should give him the choice to stay or go based on the truth, instead of hiding my issue from him. Should I tell him or not?
 
Mayflower7

Mayflower7

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Moderator
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Jan 4, 2013
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10,039
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England
Hi,
I'd tell him, you can get support hopefully.
He's probably noticed by the things he's said.
Are you getting any professional help?
Take care
 
StarryKnight33

StarryKnight33

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Nov 1, 2019
Messages
92
Location
Uk
Yes I would tell him. If you are engaged and plan on spending your life together then you should be honest with each other, and maybe he could give you some support?
 
TulipIceCream

TulipIceCream

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Sep 5, 2019
Messages
316
Location
On The Train
I am in therapy but not specifically for alcoholism. My therapist wants me to get treated but I don't want to go. I have been trying to quit for a few weeks and despite my recent binges I am drinking much less than before.
 
TulipIceCream

TulipIceCream

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Joined
Sep 5, 2019
Messages
316
Location
On The Train
Well I got really drunk for the last time yesterday. Now I am going to take my Zoloft again and give meds another chance. I told my fiancee I am giving up drinking and going to take my meds again and he was supportive and caring. But then later on he was saying his phone wigged out and needed Zoloft. 😔 I said, hey that's what I take... And he changed the subject. I guess he was making fun of me. ☹ Guess I deserve that? Hmmm.... 😕😟☹😣😔
 
J

Jules5

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Jan 27, 2019
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Florida
Tulip Alcohol kills any drugs like Zoloft you are taking. Alcohol kills our very soul. I still drink and I come home with alcohol and try to sneak it in through the back door. My family knows I do this as they catch me almost every time. Plus they see me drinking.

I am sure your fiance knows about you drinking alcohol. A secret revealed means you are asking for help. Tulip I have been reading your post for a few months now. I drink way to much. So I love hearing about your struggle and hope that one day I can stop drinking.

You are giving me hope. Lots of love and hugs Jules
 
TulipIceCream

TulipIceCream

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Joined
Sep 5, 2019
Messages
316
Location
On The Train
Thank you Jules! I am so grateful for all of the lovely people on this forum. I don't have anyone I feel that I can speak candidly to irl. I wish you luck on your recovery too 🤗🤗🤗
 
C

celticlass

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Joined
May 7, 2011
Messages
561
Location
Scotland
He says he knows I drink by myself and it worries him when he comes home from work and I am drunk.he said he used to drink a lot too and understood why I do it.

I have missed class from being passed out drunk and lied to him and said class was cancelled or short. I don't like to lie but I was too embarrassed. I wrote in the anxiety forum how I got drunk and blacked out on the train. I know he would be shocked and maybe not want to be with me anymore. But on the other hand I think that with a severe problem like mine I should give him the choice to stay or go based on the truth, instead of hiding my issue from him. Should I tell him or not?
It'll be obvious to the whole world Tulip you have a problem You are passing out on trains {where by the way you are placing yourself at risk of sexual molestation whilst inebriated - yet twittering how you cannot go to a meeting where 99.9% will be sober and will not touch you). I am sorry. I know you do not want to hear it the heavy way - but you need to take action. Everybody on here telling you they love you and are supporting you will not turn you into a recovering alcoholic. Alcoholism kills women! Our bodies are not built like a man's to handle the drink. I was lucky. I did not drink spirits for so long, I don't know your age or drinking history. Treasure your life. It matters. I will say a prayer for you as the still suffering alcoholic when I go to my meeting tomorrow night. Will say many prayers as it happens.
 
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