Should I tell him??

[littleliz]

Hi everyone,
This is my first post and I am not sure if I have put this in the right forum - so apologies if I haven't.

I have a very good friend who suffers from Clinical Depression. I know he is prescribed lithium and also an antidepressant for this. To give a bit of background he suffered a breakdown about 8 years ago (before I knew him, we have only been friends for about 3 or 4 years) and he was in hospital for 6 months and off work for 2 years. They kept his job open and he returned to work however during the time he was off he lost his house and was made bankrupt. In the time that I have known him, he has a long term partner (who he met after his breakdown) and he is still working however he has long periods from work with sickness for his depression.

In the past 12 months he has been the worst that I have seen him and hasn't really managed more than 6 weeks back at work before going off again - he is off at the moment and has been since the beginning of May. He thinks that because his illness is covered by DDA they can't really get rid of him. Despite this, him and his partner are buying a house (which they hope to get by the end of the year.

Now for my dilemma - I used to work at the same place as him and someone who works in HR has informed me (I know they shouldn't have and I wished they hadn't) that the company is looking to "get rid of him" as they feel that despite making reasonable adjustments he still cannot manage work. I have no loyalty to the company but I have to him and don't know whether to tell him or not. Part of me wants to keep it to myself because I know it will really stress him out however the other part of me is worried that him and his partner buy this house and then cannot afford it because he loses his job. If I thought that work would sort this out before his partner signs for the house I would keep quiet but I don't think this will happen.

Sorry for such a long first post. Any advice welcome.

x

 

[Yellowcoaching]

I think your friend is probably aware on some level that his job security is not bomb proof. But as the person who mentioned this hasn't given you a "we're sacking him wednesday, here's the letter we're going to post" speech. It's not black and white enough to risk the stress he might suffer if you mention what was said to you.

Also there's the risk of shooting the messenger...

If you get a chance to chat about his work and the house he's buying then perhaps you could say something about having a backup plan (with the current economic climate there'd be nothing unusual in that) and for now leave saying anything more concrete as you don't have anything firm to base it on.

 

[daffy]

I think youve been put in a 'catch22' situation. There is no right answer to this. If he thinks he may lose his job it may have a devastating effect. But if you dont they could end up homeless.

I agree with yellowcoaching in the 'what if' conversation. And ask how they would cope. They may still be able to afford the mortgage if they cut back on going out etc. so it may not be as black as u think.

Good luck with whatever u choose

 

[Twylight]

Lithium is a mood stabiliser and is often used in the treatment of Bipolar disorder.

 

[galwaygirl]

I dont know much about house purchases in England, assuming that is where you are. But I think you may have been given this info to pass on to your friend. I think you have been put in a very awkward situation because if you say something you have no proof to back it up. You will also be in a situation of causing your friend upset.
I think you should lay the "what if's" before you friend and you could say you had unofficially that the firm is trying to get rid of him.
So be careful.
You could find yourself in an even more diffcult position.

 

[jamesdean]

I found out after the event that the personal mangeress was going to sack me,I'm glad I didnt hear this because I would of gone because I honestly believed these people that I worked with, were my friends./COLOR]

 

[daffy]

When talking to your friend suggest that he takes out 'mortgage protection'. That way he will be covered for any repayments for the next 12months. That is if he goes ahead with the purchase

 

[littleliz]

Thanks for your replies. They have been very helpful. I have decided to say nothing at the moment and hopefully work will be in touch with him shortly.

Once again, thanks.