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Should I Live Alone??

ghost

ghost

Member
Joined
Nov 15, 2009
Messages
16
Location
Sheffield
At the moment I live with two friends (they are a couple). We get along really well but I am very much a person who likes their own space!

I like things really tidy and in the same place I left them and I am a bit obsessive about things like turning lights and heating off etc. They are lovely but definately more chaotic than me. I know this shouldn't be a problem but I am rather neurotic at times! I also get up really early and go to bed before midnight most nights whereas they are the other way around! This means I am often kept awake which can be really frustrating (am very very bad at confrontation so almost never ask them to keep it down). Most of the time all this is fine but sometimes it really gets to me. I'm a student nurse as well and cannot be kept awake when I am on placement, a tired Ghost is not an alert or responsible Ghost!

I also have anxiety probs sometimes and don't want to be around anyone else which means I end up stuck in my bedroom and not being able to go downstairs.

Also, apart from all of that I would just like my own space, it would be nice to have somewhere that's just mine! I have rats and would love them to have more space rather than just my cramped bedroom, and would like more rats possibly. I think I could just about afford a little studio/one bed apartment. I also feel that it might be more desirable for them to have someone a bit more fun around!

The only problem is, I'm a bit worried (as is my mother) that I might end up isolating myself even more than I already do, although if I did, at least I would have more than just my bedroom to do it in!

So, do any of you live alone? How is it? Would you recommend it for someone like me? Also, do you have pets, partners etc for company?

Thanks xxx Ghost :)
 
A

Apotheosis

Guest
So, do any of you live alone? How is it? Would you recommend it for someone like me? Also, do you have pets, partners etc for company?

Thanks xxx Ghost :)
Been living alone 8 years. Single 12 years. It gets lonely.

It's important to get a balance I think; I have some good friends, & I am close to my immediate family; so I try to spend as much time around people as I can. In fact; I make sure that it is a priority to meet up with someone every day, for some kind of contact. It isn't often that I spend a whole day alone, & if I do I really feel it.

There are good & bad things about living alone - I do like my independence; it is good having my own space, coming & going when I want, doing what I want, the freedom that brings. I need my space & time to myself, that is very important.

I took part in a recent 2 year recovery narratives project; with a long taped interview, which looked at what helps recovery (they interviewed 48 people at depth). They produced a final report which was quite interesting. Here is the link to a free download -

http://www.mentalhealthshop.org/pro...tting_back_into_th.html?shortcut=intotheworld

The conclusions were interesting - Here was a small part -

Dependence, independence and interdependence

The triple notion of dependence, independence and
interdependence as a mediator of mental health
recovery highlights the crucial role of relationships as
emphasised in our data. When ill, people often find
themselves in a position of enforced dependency.
Recovery encompasses a move towards a balanced
combination of dependence, independence and
interdependence, varying according to the specific
situation or relationship.
 
ghost

ghost

Member
Joined
Nov 15, 2009
Messages
16
Location
Sheffield
Thanks for your reply. Couldn't click on that link for some reason :unsure:

Yes I think feeling independant, that you have the ability to look after yourself, is extremely important. That may be a part of why I am thinking about this.
Thing is, I don't know if I would find any sort of balance, as I do not live in the same city as any family, and am not close to them anyway. I have a boyfriend who I would most likely see almost every day but do not want to become too dependant on him. I don't really have very many friends who I could see on a daily basis.

I do enjoy being alone though. I just don't know how I'd cope when it was the norm rather than a concious choice I'd made as I've never been in that situation.
 
A

Apotheosis

Guest
I just don't know how I'd cope when it was the norm rather than a concious choice I'd made as I've never been in that situation.
We only really know by experiencing things. Many years ago I lived in sheltered accommodation for a while. The first 4 years of living alone in private rented accommodation in the community; I went through some severe psychosis & breakdowns. At the time I longed for a more supported environment. Now I am glad of the Independence.
 
shaun3210

shaun3210

Well-known member
Joined
Feb 18, 2009
Messages
1,805
Location
Up North
I have lived alone for just over 4 years now and while I found it great at the start and the freedom it give me without the annoyances of other people to take into account and being able to do my own thing when I wanted etc!

In the longer term I have found it very isolating and very easy to lose myself to it without other people around to keep me planted in what is considered normality and has affected my ability to get out the house and interact with others.

You seem a lot more aware of the possible pitfalls to living alone than I was at the time, so you might get on a lot better than I did, maybe look to give yourself a 6 month trial of living on your own? and if you are finding it hard to avoid isolating yourself more than your currently doing look to move back to sharing?

Good luck with whatever you decide to do :)
 
ghost

ghost

Member
Joined
Nov 15, 2009
Messages
16
Location
Sheffield
I have lived alone for just over 4 years now and while I found it great at the start and the freedom it give me without the annoyances of other people to take into account and being able to do my own thing when I wanted etc!

In the longer term I have found it very isolating and very easy to lose myself to it without other people around to keep me planted in what is considered normality and has affected my ability to get out the house and interact with others.

You seem a lot more aware of the possible pitfalls to living alone than I was at the time, so you might get on a lot better than I did, maybe look to give yourself a 6 month trial of living on your own? and if you are finding it hard to avoid isolating yourself more than your currently doing look to move back to sharing?

Good luck with whatever you decide to do :)
Good plan. The place I would be looking to move into is on a 6month contract then a 1months rolling contract so that would be perfect!
 
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