should i just give up?

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spacingspaces

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10 years of pure suffering and nothing to show for it but more suffering and lots of questions that can't be answered. My psychiatrists not taking me serious as they only give me an appointment every 6 weeks and only once have i seen an actual fully trained psychiatrist, they usually just let me see a trainee psychiatrist. Things are so bad right now that i can barely even leave my room. I used to be so scared of dying even though i was suffering but now i want to die so badly. I used to always be too scared to seriously harm myself or kill myself and i am but i am finding myself becoming less scared to kill myself which is worrying but at the same time maybe it will be a good thing. Don't worry i won't kill myself but i'm not ruling it out as a future possibility because some day i probably will have the guts to do it and if i'm still suffering like this i don't see why i wouldn't. The mental health services in my country are an absolute disgrace too.
 
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Zoe1

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n yeah I have had this after my hospital admissions 5 years ago
I used to wake up feeling like that

my advocate has helped me, my therapist, my step mother
its been really hard but I'm not feeling suicidal at the moment
in spite of severe difficulties

I have not been on this forum long
but its really helped as well

I hope you feel better soon

:):grouphug:
 
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spacingspaces

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n yeah I have had this after my hospital admissions 5 years ago
I used to wake up feeling like that

my advocate has helped me, my therapist, my step mother
its been really hard but I'm not feeling suicidal at the moment
in spite of severe difficulties

I have not been on this forum long
but its really helped as well

I hope you feel better soon

:):grouphug:
About a month ago i was doing fine and now i crashed again. This happens to me all the time. I have a few good weeks/months and then i start feeling like crap again.
 
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Zoe1

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n yeah I get that
what kind of support do you have ?
 
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spacingspaces

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n yeah I get that
what kind of support do you have ?
My parents but they struggle to fully understand what i'm going through. I don't blame them since i don't even know all that's wrong with me myself. I just started working with a psychiatrist a few months ago. I worked with a psychiatry team a few years ago but i didn't really open up to them. All i know that i have for sure is severe social anxiety.
 
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Zoe1

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k well there are some positives there
your parents care about you , even if they dont know how to help
that is something not everybody has
I think my family are the same, they care but they dont know how to

you are managing to communicate here which is also something
another thing I share with you
I find it much easier to share in writing on the internet

I think maybe its safer
as I get harassed alot in real life

:grouphug:
 
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spacingspaces

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Mar 13, 2018
Messages
184
k well there are some positives there
your parents care about you , even if they dont know how to help
that is something not everybody has
I think my family are the same, they care but they dont know how to

you are managing to communicate here which is also something
another thing I share with you
I find it much easier to share in writing on the internet

I think maybe its safer
as I get harassed alot in real life

:grouphug:
Yeah i find it much easier writing it all down then talking out loud. That's what i do sometimes for the psychiatrists, i write it all on a piece of paper and hand it to them.
 
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Zoe1

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thats good, it will go on your records
they always found it helpful when I did this
and I was more likely to get a good result that way

:grouphug:
 

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