- Mar 13, 2018
10 years of pure suffering and nothing to show for it but more suffering and lots of questions that can't be answered. My psychiatrists not taking me serious as they only give me an appointment every 6 weeks and only once have i seen an actual fully trained psychiatrist, they usually just let me see a trainee psychiatrist. Things are so bad right now that i can barely even leave my room. I used to be so scared of dying even though i was suffering but now i want to die so badly. I used to always be too scared to seriously harm myself or kill myself and i am but i am finding myself becoming less scared to kill myself which is worrying but at the same time maybe it will be a good thing. Don't worry i won't kill myself but i'm not ruling it out as a future possibility because some day i probably will have the guts to do it and if i'm still suffering like this i don't see why i wouldn't. The mental health services in my country are an absolute disgrace too.