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Should I go on antidepressants again? Really Need advise, old friend anxiety is back..

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Stronggirl

Member
Joined
Oct 7, 2019
Messages
5
Location
Czech Republic
Here is my experience with antidepressants...

I have been on citalopram for almost 3 years as I had my first panic attack that spiraled into constant anxiety where I was not able to eat or function properly in general, Lost 10 Kg. I was reluctant and embarrassed to take antidepressants. However, I had to. Slowly they started working but I had the worst side effects for two weeks, but I was so desperate to get better I pushed trough and eventually anxiety almost seized completely. I was able to complete my work placement at a psychiatric hospital as a psychology assistant and also finish uni. I also had therapy which helped.

Few years later there were so many life changes: ended my 6 year relationship, had financial issues, started a new relationship, moved countries and found a new job!! And all trough these stressful events not a hint of anxiety. Of course all of this gave me confidence that maybe i should stop talking them and slowly weaned myself off and was off them for 6 months. However, now i kind of regret it. As life got harder in a new country that i been in for 7 months now. I do not speak the language, have no friends and miss the ones in UK also there is gossip we might get redundant at work. All this caused a lot of stress, I started crying on some days and feeling really crap but still had not much anxiety even with this. My partner however has been amazing trough all this.

Anyhow, i guess everything started building up and eventually I started feeling anxious sometimes for a bit. Then 2 days ago I started to feel super anxious in the evening it was triggered by watching a scary show with my partner. I used to love watching scary shit...I knew it was bad news (the shithead anxiety is back) as it was similar feeling to when I got anxiety the first time round just without panic attack. Then in the morning i felt alright however once i stood up from bed i started to feel massively anxious again. We went to town that helped but couple if times I felt like giving up. I was exhoused as i did not eat all day...Anyhow today i was not that bad but not great cried quite a lot and felt anxiety in waves. I went to doctors today and asked how does it work with antidepressants and doctor told she can prescribe the same medication i was taking i told her i still have some and i will see if i need to take them and once if i start i will come for a refill.

Here is the problem I am super reluctant to take the antidepressants again and not because they did not work because they really did. I feel like there is still stigma about it, i am embarrassed that I am so weak. I am embarrassed I have anxiety because I was always a super strong person not faces by anything. I am scared of the initial side affects as they were horrible as i need to work and have a trip to Budapest next week. However the negative thoughts are horrible and exhausting even started thinking that my partner will leave my because i am crazy, anxious mess now and he never seen me like this. This is completely not true my partner is super supportive and amazing man. But anxiety does this to me makes me think of the most negative, catastrophise things and all this ends up being a anxious cycle. I mean now as I am writing this I feel crap.

What do you lovely people thing did I stop my medication too early and should I take them again. Should I still wait a bit and start taking them after the weekend trip and see how I do then.

Thank you, any comments, discussion is appreciated.

Best,
"Stronggirl" (oh the irony)
 
ScaredCat

ScaredCat

Well-known member
Joined
Dec 21, 2012
Messages
8,322
Location
Another planet
I just wanted to say that whatever you decide taking antidepressants does not mean you are weak xxx
 
sadpunchingbag

sadpunchingbag

Well-known member
Joined
May 29, 2019
Messages
1,399
Location
London
dont go anywhere near anti depressents this is my opinion as someone who suffers i dont like to use that word but i have depression/suicide ideation/anxiety and apparently ptsd anti depressents are pure cancer i would suggest seeing a occupational therapist who specialises in cbt go on youtube look up cbt therapy it is the best it works for me but it may for you
 
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Pollypop

Well-known member
Joined
Jul 23, 2015
Messages
1,077
Location
England. Derbyshire
If they worked for you previously then you know the
will work again.
There is absolutely nothing to be embarrassed about.
Also I’m sure your partner would be happier that you took
the antidepressants rather than seeing you crying and unhappy.

The tablets do have side effects for a couple of weeks so
it’s up to you whether you wait until you have been on your trip.
 
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Dorf

Active member
Joined
Sep 30, 2019
Messages
41
Location
Merseyside
I've had every antidepressant out there and none worked for me. They made me feel nauseous and at times I became more confused. The last straw was the weight gain! They all appear to have the same side effects. My gp is making an appointment for me to see a mental health specialist as they have access to different meds. Why after years of dealing with this, couldn't they have referred me before now?
 
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user9898

Active member
Joined
Oct 6, 2019
Messages
42
Location
europe
dont go anywhere near anti depressents this is my opinion as someone who suffers i dont like to use that word but i have depression/suicide ideation/anxiety and apparently ptsd anti depressents are pure cancer i would suggest seeing a occupational therapist who specialises in cbt go on youtube look up cbt therapy it is the best it works for me but it may for you
I have to agree, I have been off antidepr since over 2 months and I feel I have gotten my life back! The horrible emotional blunting, increased appetite and weight gain, no sex drive was like being a zombie or a robot.
Occasionally I get depressed/anxious/get suicidal thoughts but I try to fight back with all I got! The anxiety can be a powerful force to change your life if there is something in it that is wrong like a bad relationship or a toxic workplace.

Like sadpunchingbag says, you need something to put in its place like a therapist. In my case it is eating healthy and exercising and trying to change my life like getting another job, finding new friends, writing on this forum, improving the few relationships I have.
It's hard sometimes, very hard but I don't want to go through life as a zombie! When I was on antidepr, I didn't care about anything, didn't even try to make friends or even connect with people! Makes me so sad. Now I try to make up for lost time but some of the people around me have given up on me. I will try, I won't give up!
 
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Pollypop

Well-known member
Joined
Jul 23, 2015
Messages
1,077
Location
England. Derbyshire
Hi user,
I’m so pleased you are managing without the dreaded antidepressants.
I keep wondering how I’d be without them but the medics don’t agree.
to it.

I could have written what you said in your last paragraph about being on antidepressants
. it sounds so much like what I have done.
Now, apart from my husband I have no one.
I would love to become the person he once knew.

Well done with what you are planning.
I wish you all the success you deserve.
 
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user9898

Active member
Joined
Oct 6, 2019
Messages
42
Location
europe
Hi user,
I’m so pleased you are managing without the dreaded antidepressants.
I keep wondering how I’d be without them but the medics don’t agree.
to it.

I could have written what you said in your last paragraph about being on antidepressants
. it sounds so much like what I have done.
Now, apart from my husband I have no one.
I would love to become the person he once knew.

Well done with what you are planning.
I wish you all the success you deserve.
Thank you for your wishing me well! Trying to get off the meds should only be tried when you feel ready and only when you have a relatively stable situation. Good that you have your husband and here you have us and I would like to help you anyway I can! I also need some support and I hope we can support each other!
 
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Pollypop

Well-known member
Joined
Jul 23, 2015
Messages
1,077
Location
England. Derbyshire
That sounds like a great idea. Thank you. I would love to give and receive
support with you.
i would like to start a hobby again but my mind flits from one thing to
another and, as I’m sure you will know, nothing gets done.

Because I withdrew so much and pushed everyone away, i became
agoraphobic.
i only go out to doctor and hospital appointment, and only when i
have to.

My husband did the shopping but now we have to have it delivered as he is
no longer well enough.
Consequently, social life is also zero!

i look forward to corresponding with yo.
 
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user9898

Active member
Joined
Oct 6, 2019
Messages
42
Location
europe
That sounds like a great idea. Thank you. I would love to give and receive
support with you.
i would like to start a hobby again but my mind flits from one thing to
another and, as I’m sure you will know, nothing gets done.

Because I withdrew so much and pushed everyone away, i became
agoraphobic.
i only go out to doctor and hospital appointment, and only when i
have to.

My husband did the shopping but now we have to have it delivered as he is
no longer well enough.
Consequently, social life is also zero!

i look forward to corresponding with yo.
Looking forward to getting to know you too! I sometimes feel like I don't want to leave my home. Sometimes when I feel like this, I try to make very small steps to expand the comfort zone. Like only one step outside and then I will return quickly if I feel uncomfortable. Sometimes I manage to actually go for a 5 minute quick walk!
You are lucky to have a husband to share with, have you been together for long?
I live alone and I am quite embarrassed about my loneliness so it makes it even harder to meet a girl. To be honest though, I am very comfortable not having a girlfriend right now. I want to feel better and have more friends before I try this.
 
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Pezzy

New member
Joined
Oct 21, 2019
Messages
3
Location
UK
I felt so crap I didn't care what the GP gave me, as long as it made me feel better. If you're contemplating on whether to go back on the meds, then perhaps you can still stomach the way you feel. I certainly couldn't so took antidepressants gladly.
 
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Dorf

Active member
Joined
Sep 30, 2019
Messages
41
Location
Merseyside
I'm thinking of going back on meds. I've spent a fortune trying so many supplements but none helped. I worry about taking meds because they're addictive and that's scary! I've had virtually all of them and the side effects and weight gain concerned me but feeling as bad as I do I know I need something to help me feel normal again, just not sure what to do right now
 
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user9898

Active member
Joined
Oct 6, 2019
Messages
42
Location
europe
I'm thinking of going back on meds. I've spent a fortune trying so many supplements but none helped. I worry about taking meds because they're addictive and that's scary! I've had virtually all of them and the side effects and weight gain concerned me but feeling as bad as I do I know I need something to help me feel normal again, just not sure what to do right now
What supplements did you try?
I eat 1-2 large meals of vegetables and fruits per day and supplement with omega-3, B12 and Vitamin D3. I take a large dose of Omega-3 which can help for depression, I have only been on it for 2-3 weeks and it's hard to evaluate it to be honest.
 
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Dorf

Active member
Joined
Sep 30, 2019
Messages
41
Location
Merseyside
I've had every supplement I could find that was to treat anxiety. Currently I take Omega 3 and high strength D3, multi vitamins and vitamin B complex
 
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user9898

Active member
Joined
Oct 6, 2019
Messages
42
Location
europe
I've had every supplement I could find that was to treat anxiety. Currently I take Omega 3 and high strength D3, multi vitamins and vitamin B complex
I'm currently on 5 grams of omega-3 per day. 1 capsule contains 600 mg. Apparently there is a blood test to check if you have enough: omega-3-index but I haven't tested it.
I think what you eat is more important than supplements though or rather what you don't eat: junk food, oil, salt, sugar.
 
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