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Should I feel guilty about retiring at the age of 30?

BetaMale

BetaMale

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I have bipolar, OCD and psychosis due to which I'm still doing my bachelor's at the grand old age of 29. I have 6 more courses to go and after completing them, I want to retire and learn some life skills that include driving and cooking. I'm an editor of Wikipedia and would like to pursue that activity and also play in some rated chess tournaments in my home country. Basically, I think it would be incredibly hard for me to hold down any kind of paid employment given my mental health problems, the meds and their side-effects, and the unpredictability of my next hospitalization.

Question: Should I feel guilty for making this decision? A corollary is that I will never have a wife or kid, which is okay; anyway, I come from a country with a surplus number of men. Do I have enough activities to fill the rest of my life with?
 
ScaredCat

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In my opinion you dont need to feel guilty for retiring early. Only you can decide whether it is the right thng for you to do. You can always re evaluate at a future date
 
BetaMale

BetaMale

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In my opinion you dont need to feel guilty for retiring early. Only you can decide whether it is the right thng for you to do. You can always re evaluate at a future date
Thanks! It's not like my contribution would have made a significant difference anyway; I'm only a part-time student. But even after retirement, I need to keep myself busy with one or more activities to prevent myself from rotting away at home.
 
D

Draw on the fire!

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Guilt is not really something you need to feel. I'm 33 now and I do not work due to anxiety. If you want to feel appreciated, try doing voluntary work in a care home, be part of organized events where you set up stalls, or be a film extra. You can still enjoy your retirement.
 
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daffy

daffy

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if you can afford to retire I don't see why not. you seem to realise that you need to keep yourself busy because its a long time till pensionable and youll need to fill your days.
 
D

Draw on the fire!

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Skynet, your name makes me think of The Terminator franchise! :cool:
 
BetaMale

BetaMale

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Skynet, your name makes me think of The Terminator franchise! :cool:
That's where I got it from! I had to create a username I had never used before, and for some reason "Skynet" was the first thing to pop into my mind.
 
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harsh-reality

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Maybe sometime down the line you maybe able to do small hours paid work on top of your benefits but absolutely no problems with being on benefits ..

You deserve your benefits with all your mh conditions you have and nowt to feel guilty about.

You still doing things ie learning etc but I guess you can't know what your life will be like 20 years down the line...

Stick with what keeps you well as is right now and the future will take care of itself...

I would try not to think along the lines "your next hospitalisation" anymore though.. If you can get a greater understanding of the do's and don't s for you so that you manage your mental health well whether you doing or not doing any kind paid employment - that's entirely your choice and absolutely fine.

I had many crashes in paid employment - the last major one over seven years now - I am 51 - and I have done volunteer work in the main since but small amounts paid work - I don't believe I will never work paid again but certainly not full time - its beyond me.

My advice would be just do at any given time - what feels comfortable and correct for yourself - ie you do have take account that your abilities to handle stress are lessened compared to your everyday Joe. etc...

If it seems so called "retirement" is how it is for you to be well, then nothing wrong with that at all. If other people have issues with that sadly that's their stuff to deal with..

Sounds like you being very sensible to me...
 
C

change

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I heard once that guilt can be defined as, 'I made a mistake', while shame can be interpreted as, 'I am a mistake'.

All I know for sure was that I was just approved for disability. I'm 32. I really don't try to think too hard about it. I don't call myself retired. I try really hard to manage my CPTSD so that one day I may be all the things that I thought I'd grow up to be. I'm working up to learning how to drive; to be honest, I find more and more reasons that it's better to not drive every day.

But I really believe it's in God's hands. I am not to blame for what happened to me, and I'm doing my best to be the best that I can be. So I feel no guilt. From time to time I feel shame, but I know that's just part of the CPTSD.

It's incredibly hard to date for me. I have no kids, some hermit crabs as pets. But really I have no ambition to do or be more. I took up running; this is tremendously rewarding for me.

Ultimately I try to take responsibility for my own emotions up to a certain point. It's the symptoms of my mental illness that I cannot take responsibility for. I can take medication, participate in talk therapy, avoid triggering entertainment, but if a flashback comes up then instantly I'm not worth a damn, and I can't tell you when that happens or when I'll be up and on my feet again.

I'm really blessed in so many ways. I'm very thankful to not be a parent. But if I didn't have the ability to quit working right now, I'd never have the opportunity to work on trying to get better. I'm not really sure if that's even possible, but I am doing a Lot Better than when I first realized that I really do have a mental illness. It's been a journey.

Good Luck! Give yourself a break! I've never successfully graduated any damn thing, but I'm alive, and I know that I shouldn't be. Even when it was me myself trying to do me in, I survived.
 
BetaMale

BetaMale

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Thanks for the replies, everyone! I'm currently back in my home country on medical leave. I'm taking it easy and learning a little cooking from my mother. I've started a new drug - Abilify, which seems to be working. I intend to return to university someday, but there's no hurry, and I want to get better first.
 
H

harsh-reality

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Question: Should I feel guilty for making this decision? A corollary is that I will never have a wife or kid, which is okay; anyway, I come from a country with a surplus number of men. Do I have enough activities to fill the rest of my life with?
Your hobbies will probably change over time - I had a relationship - I was at my most unwell during that period..

I developed women friends again but no relationship as such.

Agree with one poster - good idea give volunteering a go - whether to meet new people or occupy your time..

but yes don't try change everything all in one go -
I heard once that guilt can be defined as, 'I made a mistake', while shame can be interpreted as, 'I am a mistake'.

All I know for sure was that I was just approved for disability. I'm 32. I really don't try to think too hard about it. I don't call myself retired. I try really hard to manage my CPTSD so that one day I may be all the things that I thought I'd grow up to be. I'm working up to learning how to drive; to be honest, I find more and more reasons that it's better to not drive every day.

But I really believe it's in God's hands. I am not to blame for what happened to me, and I'm doing my best to be the best that I can be. So I feel no guilt. From time to time I feel shame, but I know that's just part of the CPTSD.

It's incredibly hard to date for me. I have no kids, some hermit crabs as pets. But really I have no ambition to do or be more. I took up running; this is tremendously rewarding for me.

Ultimately I try to take responsibility for my own emotions up to a certain point. It's the symptoms of my mental illness that I cannot take responsibility for. I can take medication, participate in talk therapy, avoid triggering entertainment, but if a flashback comes up then instantly I'm not worth a damn, and I can't tell you when that happens or when I'll be up and on my feet again.

I'm really blessed in so many ways. I'm very thankful to not be a parent. But if I didn't have the ability to quit working right now, I'd never have the opportunity to work on trying to get better. I'm not really sure if that's even possible, but I am doing a Lot Better than when I first realized that I really do have a mental illness. It's been a journey.

Good Luck! Give yourself a break! I've never successfully graduated any damn thing, but I'm alive, and I know that I shouldn't be. Even when it was me myself trying to do me in, I survived.
Top post

Words resonate with me

I could not be a parent and knew this a long time ago

I came to terms with the "not being the next bill gates" ie working all time only in recent times..

And like yourself I have conditions which limit my stresses is essential.

Yes and like yourself I should not really be here yet I am and I am thankful for that as well.

Its about the journey absolutely and most definitely not about the destination.

I still can be overambitious with my goals but I usually can remember eventually to rein myself in so that I don't become overwhelmed anymore.
 
albie

albie

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I have never worked and have always been mentally ill. Do I feel guilty? Nope. Do I go around talking about it? Nope.
 
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EstherRose94

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Go get that Bachelors! Then think outside the box. You’re really young. Take some time for self care but I hope In the future you can still find even a part time job or volunteer work that you love! Don’t sell yourself short. What’s your degree in?
 
BetaMale

BetaMale

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Go get that Bachelors! Then think outside the box. You’re really young. Take some time for self care but I hope In the future you can still find even a part time job or volunteer work that you love! Don’t sell yourself short. What’s your degree in?
Thank you! Mathematics and Statistics with a minor in Economics. I'm not interested in pursuing a graduate degree though.
 
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EstherRose94

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Awesome I love math. I’m minoring in biostats now. No pressure to get another degree; maybe you can find a job that lets you work from home. Seems like stats should be kinda flexible that way. And it’s in high demand. To be clear, I don’t think you should feel guilty in any case. I just think you sound bright and it stood out that you said you didn’t think your contribution would be very much anyway. It could be! I just don’t think you should give up on yourself.
 
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