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Should I end my life?

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tsimmo15

New member
Joined
Apr 21, 2015
Messages
4
Ever since I was born I've been a pushover I was always made fun of at school via it being rumours or because I'm ugly and fat etc at the moment I'm 18 years old I have 3 friends who take the piss out of me quite often, I share the loft room of my house with 2 of my brothers as a bedroom, it is completely unfurnished, dusty, cob webs everywhere and generally just not a very pleasant room to be in, it has been this way for years and my parents have only been in my room a handful of times ever, they don't really care about getting it furnished so it's something I've stopped getting my hopes up for, I work a zero hours contract job with hardly any hours a week, I hardly ever have any money or
clothes. I am always very shy and find it hard to conversate with people, Even though I am a man I cry myself to sleep almost every night, a lot more bad things tend to happen to me rather than good things, the best thing that I can say happened to me is that I got a B in maths and English at GCSE level but yet I am the most unsuccessful person I know, I really hate being me and I really want to end my life but the only reason I havnt is because I don't want to put my family through the pain so every morning I wake up, I put a lid on the pain, paint a smile on my face and basically lie to the whole world
 
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Helena1

Well-known member
Forum Safety Team
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Oct 11, 2014
Messages
10,575
Location
UK
Have you had any counseling or therapy?
have you thought about furnishing your room yourself. maybe your parents will pay for the paint if you cannot to paint it or whatever it needs.
 
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blueorange

Well-known member
Joined
Nov 27, 2014
Messages
203
I feel your pain. I wish I could say things which make you happy. I'm depressed also. I really feel your pain. Please hang in there, you're so young and you have a whole life ahead.
 
blueflames

blueflames

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Apr 1, 2014
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Anywhere but reality
That sounds terrible, I'm really sorry.

Have you thought about getting some counselling? Also with good GCSE grades I am sure you could look for better work??

I certainly don't think killing yourself is the answer and I am sure you would rather things were better for you, than you weren't here at all:unsure: xx
 
katya

katya

Well-known member
Joined
Dec 4, 2013
Messages
2,052
Location
England
Good God, no, you shouldn't end your life. I'm so sorry things seem so bleak right now, but fuck no. You'll be able to improve things in some way or another. I know it may not seem like that right now, but please don't lose hope. Have you seen a GP about how you're feeling? I think you absolutely should if you haven't already.

I really hope things get better for you soon. :hug1:
 
catkin

catkin

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Mar 21, 2011
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in a bit of a ravel
I agree with what's been said, ask your GP for access to some support. I don't know your home situation, but wonder if your house is over crowded?, and whether you could get advice from citizens' advice bureau for a benefit check to see if you are eligible for any financial support and or access to somewhere else to live? You sound very low, try and reach out xx
 
chazxxx

chazxxx

Well-known member
Joined
Apr 1, 2015
Messages
744
I'm sorry your feeling so down at the moment. I know how it is to feel like your trapped from not being able to live and not being allowed to die (to not upset anyone).

But I have to agree with everyone else. Nothing can replace seeing your GP and talking through how you feel with them. Talking therapy or medication may help you find life a bit more manageable again, and perhaps that can help you make changes to your life in a more positive way. When you have those feelings of worthlessness it's hard to picture anything getting any better. But I do think with the right help/support you will be able to make the changes you need to improve your situation. Finding better employment. Furnish your room/move out. Improve your confidence, maybe get new hobbies, meet new people that hopefully treat you better than your current friends. I don't mean to overwhelm you, i know doing all that can seem a little daunting or impossible. But it genuinely can be a reality one step at a time, if you seek the support you need now.

And as a side note, men are allowed to cry, but don't suffer in silence.

I hope things start looking up for you soon.
 
Fairy Lucretia

Fairy Lucretia

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Apr 9, 2011
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36,127
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Magical fairy wonderland xxxx
i dont think you should end your life xx its a cliche but where there is life there is hope xx i really hope things improve for you soon xx
 
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tsimmo15

New member
Joined
Apr 21, 2015
Messages
4
It's needs a whole lot more than paint trust me, my bedroom literally made up of wood and insulation.
 
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Joey56

Member
Joined
Apr 22, 2015
Messages
12
Location
New Hampshire
I feel your pain. I wish I could say things which make you happy. I'm depressed also. I really feel your pain. Please hang in there, you're so young and you have a whole life ahead.
I'm with blueorange. You are young and have so much ahead of you. I'm 59 years old. I haven't had depression as long as you, but it's flared up lately.
Please try to hand in there. Things will get better....you'll see. I'm new here, but this seems to be a very friendly place with good advise. I wish you the best!

Joey
 
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larahabig

Guest
I feel your pain, don't let you down be social, try to make contact your old friend and share some your emotion with your friends and eat healthy, sleep more. You are young and you have more efficiency to overcome this.
 
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