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should I consider medication PLEASE HELP

Riah3

Riah3

Well-known member
Joined
Apr 8, 2020
Messages
117
Location
Texas
THIS IS A LOT AND I AM SORRY
Hi all, I started seeing a therapist recently, I started therapy to save my relationship, I have abandonment issues, help my anxiety I suffer from anxiety attacks and now possibly depression or bpd but nonetheless my mental health is affecting my relationship. I don't want to lose my partner after 6 years and I want to feel better. I have no drive or motivation to do anything I don't enjoy the things I used to, I barely talk to my friends I pretty much work eat and sleep, sad I know. I recently had a birthday party, I have always been outgoing and crazy not afraid to speak my mind or change to win anyones approval this attracted life long friends into my life. At my birthday dinner all of my friends came a guest list of 20 people.. I also got a cake decorated something I have wanted for the past 10 years but could never afford.. Seeing all of my friends, getting gifts, having the cake you would think I had the time of my life but I didn't and I was confused I thought I would normally thrive in this environment and talk about the night for days even weeks.. But no, I left that night feeling actually quite sad and a little. This was when I first realized something isn't right.. I also just recently put thousands of dollars into recording equipment (im a singer) and a camera so I can start a youtube channel.. I haven't even used the equipment and Im too insecure to record myself, also something I could never afforded in the past I thought I would go crazy and be caught up into it for hours on end but no, this didn't even make me happy.. I haven't told my therapist these stories but for other things she found during our sessions she thinks Im depressed, my quality of life has gone from 80-90% to now probably 10% and thats only bc I have hope that there will be brighter days... My therapist asked if I would be interested in taking medication.. Not sure whether or not I should. My life has just become so little and dim... I could exercise for 3 hours at a time I ate healthy I sang all of the time I could talk to friends on the phone for hours, I loved being outside, cooking, baking and long boarding and shopping and going to restaurants and just doing anything with my friends and my boyfriend (we share the same friends) and now I order delivery food pretty much every night, I hate going anywhere, I feel awkward talking to my friends on the phone Id prefer to text and even at that I barely ever respond, I pretty much lay down all day on my phone wasting time, its just a cycle nothing interesting ever happens in my life anymore and I have hated the person I am for letting myself go and gaining nearly 100 pounds, not excelling in my music career bc I have no motivation to even try.. I know this was long and Im sorry I just really want to convey the full drastic change my life has made. Do I sound like I am in a deep depression or something that can easily be changed if I continue the therapy, I don't know anyone who is depressed or have been depressed that I can go to, would someone in my state normally take anti depressants? I want to take them so I can have my life back but I don't know if I even need them or if I should.
 
R

Rainwriter

Well-known member
Joined
Apr 6, 2020
Messages
74
Location
England, uk
Hi Riah3,
Dont be sorry! this is what this forum is for. I'm sorry you are in such a hard place right now.
How long have you been seeing your therapist (great that you are getting help!)? Have you tried any other coping strategies?

Taking medication is a very personal choice. I was resistant to it at first because I didn't want to rely on medication, was afraid of getting addicted etc. I was in a really bad place but it took me a while to see how bad it was and accept that depression was an illness. If I had an infection I would take antibiotics so why would I not take anything for medication. Medication is not for everyone, but it helped me (citalopram), it levelled me out and took away those really low lows which was what I needed whilst I did therapy as well. It seems your experience has had a drastic impact on your life so it might be helpful.
And it is possible to come off it again if that's what you want- I managed to come off it a while ago but have needed to start it again during this pandemic - very unusual and stressful times.
Have you talked to your doctor/therapist about how the medication works etc?
 
Riah3

Riah3

Well-known member
Joined
Apr 8, 2020
Messages
117
Location
Texas
I’ve seen her 4 times now and I just found out I was depressed I didn’t really know what it was. I just explained how I feel she said it was depression and asked if wanted to see a psychiatrist to start medication and I said I didn’t know about it bc I have no idea what it does etc and I wanted to give it some thought so I haven’t tried any other strategies. I see a lot of negative side affects online with anti depressants and that’s what has me kind of on the fence so I wanted to hear from people with experience. I’m glad it works for you, thank you for your response
 
Lunar Lady

Lunar Lady

Well-known member
Forum Guide
Joined
Mar 19, 2019
Messages
10,676
Location
UK
Hi Riah,

Sorry to hear you're having a hard time of things recently.

I can't advise what's best for you, personally,but I can share my own experience and tell you how I've approached it.

Firstly, I think medication is an important stepping stone to recovery if you need it. I don't take any meds for depression but would have no hesitation in doing so if I felt I was no longer able to influence or improve my mood by my own efforts and I sensed myself being on a permanently downward trend.

You need a bag of personal tricks to change your mental state. Nobody can guess at what will work for you but you can get ideas from us. That said, there are some common denominators that will have a huge impact on how you're feeling: sleep, exercise and diet.

Have a good, analytical look at your own daily rituals. We'll substitute the word 'exercise' for the word 'movement' in the first instance - you need to get moving. In my case, I grab a piece of paper and a pen every day and leave it on my desk with the heading 'Today's Achievements.' Then, I go about doing physical jobs around the home that take less than ten minutes to complete...vacuum a room...wash dishes...go outside and water the plants...tidy an area...change a bed. This does two things -it gives me a sense of achievement and purpose which is key to happiness and it gives my brain a natural release of endorphins that lift your mood and make you feel better.

Personally, I think you are far better to start moving than get overwhelmed by the prospect of exercise. Honestly? If you can't find the momentum to make the bed and take a shower, you're unlikely to join a gym or pull on running shoes...just start off with simple things.

When we become inactive through feeling down, we end up lounging around or sleeping a great deal. The result of this is often irregular sleep patterns that seriously affect our mood. Six or seven hours of intermittent naps and under-the duvet time during the day is not the same quality of sleep as getting at least six quality hours overnight.

It needs real discipline to stop yourself snoozing in the day. If I'm very low, I get out of my bed and strip it completely in the morning and open the bedroom window so the temptation of crawling back under the covers in a cosy room has been removed. With that option gone, I have a normal day and feel tired enough at night to sleep.

Diet - I'm sure you know the ropes. High sugar foods and snacks will give you a brief high until your blood sugar plummets and you feel exhausted and low again. Eat properly - think nutrition and stop snacking (we all do it - there have been days when I've felt so low, the most I could do in terms of preparing myself food was open a packet of crisps.) Eating nutritionally makes a world of difference to your mental health.

I stay offline when I'm getting low. It involves me being sedentary and consumed in conversations or information that has no real value or impact on my life so I keep that as a treat - ten minutes here and there with a coffee.

These basic adjustments are just a springboard into feeling better - they're the basics. Add to that your own bag of personal tricks to bringing yourself back to life. I respond so well to music - lively, pumping music lifts my mood and I dance-clean my way around the home. Tinkering in my garden gives me an instant lift...walking in the country etc. You need to find your own personal rescue pack of mood lifters.

In my opinion, when I can no longer manage these basics or find any level of mood shift and relief from my personal pleasures - that is the point that I would seek medical help from my GP. If I ever felt any dark thoughts of taking my life or losing the will to live, I would seek immediate help.

Rhia, depression is a camouflaged bear-trap - you don't know you've fallen into it until you're at the bottom looking up. We end up feeling as if our life is going nowhere because we have stopped engaging with it and gone into ourselves. Get yourself moving, restrict playing on your phone for no more than a few half hour coffee breaks and get involved with the World again. You need to be tough on yourself discipline-wise but you can reclaim your life.

In my opinion - I don't think it's helpful to start reading up on MH symptoms. ALL diagnoses share similar traits at times,so personally, I would just work on lifting your mood rather than wondering if you fit a particular profile. You're in a rut at the moment - get out of that rut first (or give it your best shot) and then see where you are.

Wishing you all the best and here if you need support. xxx
 
K

karl7

Well-known member
Joined
Jul 9, 2013
Messages
885
THIS IS A LOT AND I AM SORRY
Hi all, I started seeing a therapist recently, I started therapy to save my relationship, I have abandonment issues, help my anxiety I suffer from anxiety attacks and now possibly depression or bpd but nonetheless my mental health is affecting my relationship. I don't want to lose my partner after 6 years and I want to feel better. I have no drive or motivation to do anything I don't enjoy the things I used to, I barely talk to my friends I pretty much work eat and sleep, sad I know. I recently had a birthday party, I have always been outgoing and crazy not afraid to speak my mind or change to win anyones approval this attracted life long friends into my life. At my birthday dinner all of my friends came a guest list of 20 people.. I also got a cake decorated something I have wanted for the past 10 years but could never afford.. Seeing all of my friends, getting gifts, having the cake you would think I had the time of my life but I didn't and I was confused I thought I would normally thrive in this environment and talk about the night for days even weeks.. But no, I left that night feeling actually quite sad and a little. This was when I first realized something isn't right.. I also just recently put thousands of dollars into recording equipment (im a singer) and a camera so I can start a youtube channel.. I haven't even used the equipment and Im too insecure to record myself, also something I could never afforded in the past I thought I would go crazy and be caught up into it for hours on end but no, this didn't even make me happy.. I haven't told my therapist these stories but for other things she found during our sessions she thinks Im depressed, my quality of life has gone from 80-90% to now probably 10% and thats only bc I have hope that there will be brighter days... My therapist asked if I would be interested in taking medication.. Not sure whether or not I should. My life has just become so little and dim... I could exercise for 3 hours at a time I ate healthy I sang all of the time I could talk to friends on the phone for hours, I loved being outside, cooking, baking and long boarding and shopping and going to restaurants and just doing anything with my friends and my boyfriend (we share the same friends) and now I order delivery food pretty much every night, I hate going anywhere, I feel awkward talking to my friends on the phone Id prefer to text and even at that I barely ever respond, I pretty much lay down all day on my phone wasting time, its just a cycle nothing interesting ever happens in my life anymore and I have hated the person I am for letting myself go and gaining nearly 100 pounds, not excelling in my music career bc I have no motivation to even try.. I know this was long and Im sorry I just really want to convey the full drastic change my life has made. Do I sound like I am in a deep depression or something that can easily be changed if I continue the therapy, I don't know anyone who is depressed or have been depressed that I can go to, would someone in my state normally take anti depressants? I want to take them so I can have my life back but I don't know if I even need them or if I should.
im sorry to hear youre having such a rough time, you should be as open as possible when talking to a therapist, tell them everything, its good to vent, and yes i think meds may help.
 
Riah3

Riah3

Well-known member
Joined
Apr 8, 2020
Messages
117
Location
Texas
Hi Riah,

Sorry to hear you're having a hard time of things recently.

I can't advise what's best for you, personally,but I can share my own experience and tell you how I've approached it.

Firstly, I think medication is an important stepping stone to recovery if you need it. I don't take any meds for depression but would have no hesitation in doing so if I felt I was no longer able to influence or improve my mood by my own efforts and I sensed myself being on a permanently downward trend.

You need a bag of personal tricks to change your mental state. Nobody can guess at what will work for you but you can get ideas from us. That said, there are some common denominators that will have a huge impact on how you're feeling: sleep, exercise and diet.

Have a good, analytical look at your own daily rituals. We'll substitute the word 'exercise' for the word 'movement' in the first instance - you need to get moving. In my case, I grab a piece of paper and a pen every day and leave it on my desk with the heading 'Today's Achievements.' Then, I go about doing physical jobs around the home that take less than ten minutes to complete...vacuum a room...wash dishes...go outside and water the plants...tidy an area...change a bed. This does two things -it gives me a sense of achievement and purpose which is key to happiness and it gives my brain a natural release of endorphins that lift your mood and make you feel better.

Personally, I think you are far better to start moving than get overwhelmed by the prospect of exercise. Honestly? If you can't find the momentum to make the bed and take a shower, you're unlikely to join a gym or pull on running shoes...just start off with simple things.

When we become inactive through feeling down, we end up lounging around or sleeping a great deal. The result of this is often irregular sleep patterns that seriously affect our mood. Six or seven hours of intermittent naps and under-the duvet time during the day is not the same quality of sleep as getting at least six quality hours overnight.

It needs real discipline to stop yourself snoozing in the day. If I'm very low, I get out of my bed and strip it completely in the morning and open the bedroom window so the temptation of crawling back under the covers in a cosy room has been removed. With that option gone, I have a normal day and feel tired enough at night to sleep.

Diet - I'm sure you know the ropes. High sugar foods and snacks will give you a brief high until your blood sugar plummets and you feel exhausted and low again. Eat properly - think nutrition and stop snacking (we all do it - there have been days when I've felt so low, the most I could do in terms of preparing myself food was open a packet of crisps.) Eating nutritionally makes a world of difference to your mental health.

I stay offline when I'm getting low. It involves me being sedentary and consumed in conversations or information that has no real value or impact on my life so I keep that as a treat - ten minutes here and there with a coffee.

These basic adjustments are just a springboard into feeling better - they're the basics. Add to that your own bag of personal tricks to bringing yourself back to life. I respond so well to music - lively, pumping music lifts my mood and I dance-clean my way around the home. Tinkering in my garden gives me an instant lift...walking in the country etc. You need to find your own personal rescue pack of mood lifters.

In my opinion, when I can no longer manage these basics or find any level of mood shift and relief from my personal pleasures - that is the point that I would seek medical help from my GP. If I ever felt any dark thoughts of taking my life or losing the will to live, I would seek immediate help.

Rhia, depression is a camouflaged bear-trap - you don't know you've fallen into it until you're at the bottom looking up. We end up feeling as if our life is going nowhere because we have stopped engaging with it and gone into ourselves. Get yourself moving, restrict playing on your phone for no more than a few half hour coffee breaks and get involved with the World again. You need to be tough on yourself discipline-wise but you can reclaim your life.

In my opinion - I don't think it's helpful to start reading up on MH symptoms. ALL diagnoses share similar traits at times,so personally, I would just work on lifting your mood rather than wondering if you fit a particular profile. You're in a rut at the moment - get out of that rut first (or give it your best shot) and then see where you are.

Wishing you all the best and here if you need support. xxx
Wow I truly appreciate you taking the time to help so much, these definitely sound like great ideas and I will try them starting now. I feel a bit better now that I have a plan somewhere to start. Again, thank you so much
 
Riah3

Riah3

Well-known member
Joined
Apr 8, 2020
Messages
117
Location
Texas
im sorry to hear youre having such a rough time, you should be as open as possible when talking to a therapist, tell them everything, its good to vent, and yes i think meds may help.
Okay, I definitely should be more open. Thank you, I’m going to try to get better without meds first and see if that helps. I truly appreciate your comment.
 
J

JCPraha

Well-known member
Joined
Aug 27, 2018
Messages
857
Hello Riah,

It sounds like you are quite depressed. I am sure you should seek treatment, your depression sounds quite deep. Medication may help you. If your depression continues like this perhaps it is something you should consider. I don't think you want to continue in the state you are in.
 
Riah3

Riah3

Well-known member
Joined
Apr 8, 2020
Messages
117
Location
Texas
I didnt even realize I was depressed I knew things didn’t seem right but didn’t realize how drastically my life has changed and I’m just longing to get my life back to where it was :( thanks for your response
 
Lunar Lady

Lunar Lady

Well-known member
Forum Guide
Joined
Mar 19, 2019
Messages
10,676
Location
UK
I didnt even realize I was depressed I knew things didn’t seem right but didn’t realize how drastically my life has changed and I’m just longing to get my life back to where it was :( thanks for your response
Are you feeling any better, Riah? How have you been doing? xxx
 
Riah3

Riah3

Well-known member
Joined
Apr 8, 2020
Messages
117
Location
Texas
Are you feeling any better, Riah? How have you been doing? xxx
Thanks for asking, I’m feeling a little better. I’ve been moving around more and forcing myself to do things for example one of the things I wasn’t able to do was talk on the phone even to friends. A friend and I talked on the phone for nearly an hour. It felt really nice. I have days where I just feel so low and down and it’s hard to come up from that funk but I try to start every day with a brighter attitude than the day before. I still lack motivation I feel that it’s easy for me to feel motivated after hearing something positive but the very next day or sometimes the same day I’ll start feeling low again.
 
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