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Should he stay or should he go?

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madsheep

Well-known member
Joined
Jul 11, 2009
Messages
607
Location
Bedfordshire
Right. Well today has been somewhat of a disaster. Had a meeting with my Psychiatrist this morning. Not keen on him anyway, and the session went terribly. It was like he was not listening to a word I was saying. The only positive thing in the whole meeting was him acknowledging a complaint I made. I met my 'carecoordinator' lets call him Steve (not his real name) about 7 weeks ago. We met for about 10 minutes and in those 10 minutes he forgot my name about 5 times, and didnt even know my diagnosis. He also made me feel really unsettled and almost mocked me about my agoraphobia because he didnt understand it.
I have a real problem with phone calls, as I know quite a few people on here do. I just cant answer calls, especially from unknown numbers, they panic me. And its just as hard to make phone calls to people myself. Anyway we have told the team this many many many times and so now they have to ring Graeme so I can communitate through him.
So back to Steve. After this meeting where he rubbed me up the wrong way, I met with my pdoc who told me that we would have regular meetings and that Steve would try to help me get out and about a bit more, help me in crisis, etc. WELL 7 weeks later and I have not heard a thing. Nothing. No visits, no calls not even to Graeme... nothing!
So I complained today. I told my psych that it was horrible. I felt unsupported and (amongst other things) I wanted a new care coordinator.

Well I went out delivering newsletters with a trusted friend this afternoon (a once monthly thing to try and get me out of the house), and guess what.... Graeme gets a phone call from Steve. He says that he was going to be in the meeting with my Pdoc this morning, but he was busy. He said he wanted to come and see me on wednesday 5th may and needed to ask if am or pm was better. then he asked Graeme if I, ME, could give him a call back!

So not only has he not appologised for his complete lack of doing HIS JOB, but he has also just told me a date and STILL doesnt get that I cant use a phone!

Sorry for the rant. But I just dont know what to do anymore. I dont want anything to do with someone who obviously has no intention of helping me, and has only made the call today because a complaint was made to HIS MANAGER!! SO... do I call him back and give him another chance or do I tell him to take his mistrusting, ignorant self to someone who wants to be ignored and walked over??
 
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Lady Summer Isles

Well-known member
Joined
Nov 13, 2009
Messages
923
Location
NOBODY KNOWS FOR SURE
Sorry for short answer but get rid. I'm on cpn number 3 now and still it's not right despite a letter from my husband saying that I am unable to work with certain kinds of people, especially dominant ones because of my past history of abuse. So what do they give me - a control freak. You have to do what's best for you and this person clearly isn't right. Hope it works out for you.
Hugs
Lady T:hug:
 
M

madsheep

Well-known member
Joined
Jul 11, 2009
Messages
607
Location
Bedfordshire
Thanks for the reply Lady T. The problem is is that I have been told quite frankly that 'there are not a lot of people who can have that level of involvement'... So they are basically saying its 'steve' or i a LONG wait until someone else can take over. Which baring in mind what has happened wont be much change, but... I dont know. And I dont know how to get my point across either. I am really not comfortable talking to him on the phone, and certainly dont want him to come to my house when there is no one else here, so what do I do. I mean I told the pdoc several times that I just want a new one, I dont want steve to buck up his act, I just want a new one. And this phone call is what I get as an answer. :cry: I just feel so stuck.
 
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Lady Summer Isles

Well-known member
Joined
Nov 13, 2009
Messages
923
Location
NOBODY KNOWS FOR SURE
Thanks for the reply Lady T. The problem is is that I have been told quite frankly that 'there are not a lot of people who can have that level of involvement'... So they are basically saying its 'steve' or i a LONG wait until someone else can take over. Which baring in mind what has happened wont be much change, but... I dont know. And I dont know how to get my point across either. I am really not comfortable talking to him on the phone, and certainly dont want him to come to my house when there is no one else here, so what do I do. I mean I told the pdoc several times that I just want a new one, I dont want steve to buck up his act, I just want a new one. And this phone call is what I get as an answer. :cry: I just feel so stuck.
Yep that's what they said to me as well, but I still did it and as you say he's not been seeing you anyway. If it were me I would put it all in writing and formally request the change, giving your reasons. Send it to the pdoc and also the person that manages the cpn's. The only thing is because i've changed three times and although it was for valid reasons they have labelled me a trouble maker. I have refused to see this last cpn for the last 3 months or so and they haven't even bothered to contact me. Also put as much info in the letter as you can for example the phone contact. You are entitled to another worker, it just depends on whether you want/can go it alone for the present time. I understand your frustration only too well.
 
lal10

lal10

Well-known member
Joined
Apr 23, 2010
Messages
133
Location
Cheshire
I really feel for you madsheep :hug: and I agree with everyone else, get rid!! You have been treated terribly and it will only serve to make your condition worse, you need to feel like you have real support not worry that when you need it that it wont be there or it wont be what you want.

I've had a similar experience today, firstly the GP i've been seeing regularly has this week off, but he told me to come and see him, this panicked me as a) it takes a lot for me to pick up the phone and even book an appointment and b) I get stressed with new people so didn't want to see another doc. Then whilst there somehow I got the courage up to be a bit more honest about my condition, I usually sugar coat it a bit don't ask me why, but it was met with 'i'm sure someone at uni will be able to help', but the reason I went to the doc was because I'm not coping at the moment so can't attend uni!! Then he said I should stop taking citalopram immediately as it's causing me side effects and come back in a week, but if I needed anything in the meantime I could give them a call, obviously forgotten about my phone phobia too!! Does anything go in when we speak to those who are supposed to care?? No wonder many of us find it almost impossible to ask for help, can anyone blame us??
 
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madsheep

Well-known member
Joined
Jul 11, 2009
Messages
607
Location
Bedfordshire
His response to my request..

Well. This morning Graeme gave 'Steve' a ring and told him that I had requested someone else. Apparently, this guy said that he got the impression that I didnt like him and that that was going to be my plan all along!!!
The cheek of him!
HOW DARE HE! So his excuse is that he thought i was going to ask for someone new straight away so he hasnt bothered to do anything.

When we met, he came with a woman too. I dont know her name or anything. But between the two of them, they made me feel so small. She told me on several occasions so 'stop crying', they asked me what my diagnosis was because they didnt know, and when I told them it was BPD, I then had to explain what that was!! and to make things worse when the informed me of my first psych apointment, they asked if I would get a bus! I told them I had social agoraphobia (me sitting cuddling a cushion with all the curtains and blinds in the house closed) and that I wasnt comfortable leaving with anyone but Graeme. They then made phone calls to try and get me a TAXI, and when they couldnt get one they told me that I would go with steve. I told them no, and the womans reply was 'whats he going to do, he is a socail worker'!!

And that was it. I told them no. They said they would go away and try to arrange a lift. And this is what he is basing his opinion on. I hardly said a word the whole time they were there. I even said that it wasnt because of him as a person, I just dont go out with anyone but Graeme.

Sorry for the rant. But I am just so angry right now, and I have no other way of getting it out. I really feel like taking it out on my arms again. :cry::cry::mad::mad:
 
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maudikie

Guest
maudikie

If you are uncomfortable with a male nurse visiting, and being alone in thehouse with him, then ask for a female nurse and explain your feelings.If thins get too bad to handle then write to your PCT (Patient Care Trust) and tell them you are not satisfied with the treatment you are getting. Unfortunately the shortage of psychiatric staff makes things difficult, so you have to fight to get soe action. Have you had an assessment of need? If not ou could ask for that.
 
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madsheep

Well-known member
Joined
Jul 11, 2009
Messages
607
Location
Bedfordshire
Assessment of need? possibly, but possibly not as I have no idea what it is. I mean I can make an educated guess but ...
I think I would prefer a female, but going on the female cpn I had last time, I dont know whats worse really. *sigh* I am probably not in the best frame of mind to think about this or even write an ok repsonse. Every thought racing round my stupid brain right now is negative and I just dont see an end to anything.
Thanks for your input and advice and stuff anyway. Maybe tomorrow will bring a 'clearer sky' and I will be able to think constructively.
 
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