should have known better

standon

standon

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#1
8 weeks no drink had a few because felling okish, I feel like crap, my own fault but poured last one away made cuppa and still able to type. What a waster I am. The taste just got rid for a while then I realised I felt crap. So I be back to square one. Own fault. X
 
M

MarlieeB

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#2
It's horrible when you give in isn't it. It's not the same thing but I also did tonight and now feel crap.

Thinking of you xxx
 
standon

standon

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#3
I feel shite Marliee. Felt a bit of relief for a while then bang. It set in, my partner still happy away, n im fearing the worse im a total waste of space. Thinking the worst. Just glad I havent carried on, or I probly end up in a cell for the night yet again. The joys least ive stopped x
 
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MarlieeB

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#4
Yes, you knew you were feeling how you were feeling and stopped. That took so much strength. I'm proud of you :hug1:

xxx
 
Unique1

Unique1

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#5
Hiya.

Drink lots of water, flush your system :) move on...tomorrow's a new day.
There are bound to be some blips....don't beat yaself up !
Sometimes it has to be done to realise and move forward
Unique1 x
 
standon

standon

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#6
Im ashamed Unique after all I have said and typed I thought I could have coped, we havent argued I just feel crap in myself, he deserves a drink hard week, but he said come on relax but I suppose I wasnt ready x
 
Unique1

Unique1

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#7
Standon ..
Don't be ashamed,
It's a real strange thing, you almost have to do it to realise and remind you that you don't want to do it.
Really think 12 steps would help you ! When your ready..

Xx
 
standon

standon

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#8
Think im soba really, just felt in despair for a while, glad I stopped but have eaten a big massive kebab and I cant move, which I would normally do on a good night out. Now I feel a big greedy cow. Coming round. Oh the joys of a friday night. X
 
nonotme

nonotme

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Jan 13, 2015
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#10
You stopped that's a major success. As was the 8 weeks.
very much so, I don't drink I gamble so I just am thankful for the days I don't play. I don't count them anymore, I just aim to stay "sober" today.
 
neorealism

neorealism

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#11
I am a gambler, at the moment I'm lonely and I'm bored and I'm gambling. It's an escape for me. The weird thing is I don't even enjoy winning, or if I do the thrill lasts all of about 5 seconds. I hate myself for gambling and for falling into the same trap again and again. When I win, and I tend to win quite often, I'll play until I lose it all. If the winning gets boring, then I have to up the stakes, from £2.50 to £25 to £250 a bet. But that's addiction. I convince myself that I can beat the system, with statistical analysis and so on... but then I'm in no fit state to be making rational decisions. My biggest losses came after losing £10 on an in-play basketball bet at about 6 in the morning. After winning a lot overnight, I lost £10 and I just couldn't get it out of my mind and it irked me so much - at that point all statistics and rational thinking went out of the window and in a matter of half an hour several thousands of pounds left my bank account.

I don't know how it is with alcohol, but with gambling the biggest part is acceptance. At one point I used to suffer a lot thinking how much I lost and thinking about how much I won and then lost all over again. But the one thing I've learned is not to count 'winnings' as real money, because it doesn't matter how much you win - you are always going to gamble it away.

At the moment I'm thankful I have these limits of £25 max deposit a week on my account, and that means I can't possibly fall into huge debts again, unless I consciously choose to circumvent those limits.
 

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