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Shame and bipolar?

A

anchorandkite

New member
Joined
Nov 17, 2019
Messages
2
Location
Australia
Hi everyone, I am new to this forum and just trying to ignore the fears and do the daunting first post...
I am 47 and was diagnosed with Bipolar II nearly three years ago (but I have struggled with depression and hypomanic symptoms since I was 14). I take lithium and fluoxetine but this has not been a magic bullet, I struggle with side-effects, relapses etc. etc.
But possibly the hardest thing to deal with is shame - the shame of being unwell, and the shame of things done while I was unwell most particularly. It is difficult to take responsibility for myself, my health, and my actions (and I do) without suffering from guilt, grief and shame connected to it (and I also do). How do I find a better way of dealing with this? Is there a way to process it or reframe it?
I am really struggling at the moment with this very issue, and I would gladly accept any thoughts or strategies that anyone finds helpful. Failing that, I'm just hoping that I'm not alone on the shame train.
Kindest regards,
Victoria
 
Z

Zoe1

Well-known member
Joined
Jul 8, 2019
Messages
4,681
Location
Nowhere
hi Anchor welcome !

well you might need a talking therapy
but in the meantime we are here
read peoples posts, keep posting yourself
and try to give encouragement and hope to other members
it works like magic !

:grouphug:✨
 
calypso

calypso

Well-known member
Admin
Moderator
Joined
Jan 5, 2011
Messages
44,650
Location
Lancashire
I am diagnosed with bipolar 2 and find a sense of humour helps a little with some of my experiences. What do you feel shame about? Or is that too personal to write on here. I know that in my youth I had many sexual encounters that were highly unwise and were so embarrassing afterwards - when on a high.

I hope that you have support for these episodes. Its SO difficult at times isn't it?
 
T

thunderstruck

New member
Joined
Nov 6, 2019
Messages
3
Location
Europe
I've only had one episode so far (and hopefully it stays that way) but during my mania that led to psychosis I acted in a way that I feel deeply ashamed of. I get constant flashbacks even though the episode was months ago. I didn't harm anyone I might add, but made a big fool of myself.
 
C

celticlass

Well-known member
Joined
May 7, 2011
Messages
619
Location
Scotland
I think we need to build a non judgemental, knowledgeable about the world, support network. I know I do. I cannot say I really have that unfortunately. A friend here or there who does their best to get it. Family who stand by me. I guess one of the best tacks is to self monitor, self reflect as far as possible and have someone we can turn to who can reflect back to us how we appear to be doing? This is making me think now. Maybe keeping a journal of our journey. The embarassment is an awful thing. I acted poorly in the workplace - towards a Manager Cringe. I turned up at A & E drunk and very unwell when a Consultant Psychiatrist I had conferred with on cases had to deal with me. Oh I know about the shame. All I can do is remember that I was not well, try to stay well and try to be humble and help people as I go through the day. Might start a journal in the new year
 
S

Snoop_Frog

Member
Joined
Nov 20, 2019
Messages
14
Location
Nottingham
Yes, I'll join you on the shame train. Had my first manic psychotic episode a few months ago and thinking about it now makes me deeply uncomfortable. I just keep telling myself that I was ill and not in control of my thoughts and actions. Hoping it will get easier with time.
 
L

Livebythesea

Well-known member
Joined
Nov 29, 2019
Messages
66
Location
East Coast
I wish I had some answers, but all I can say is I am new as well and can totally relate to all you said and your questions, thank you for your post.
 
T

thisisnotmylife

Well-known member
Joined
Nov 13, 2019
Messages
56
Location
UK
I am constantly beating myself up over the particulars of my last episode 3 months ago. I did it to myself and it has ruined my entire life through not self-caring.
 
L

Livebythesea

Well-known member
Joined
Nov 29, 2019
Messages
66
Location
East Coast
I am constantly beating myself up over the particulars of my last episode 3 months ago. I did it to myself and it has ruined my entire life through not self-caring.
Yep, me too...constantly beating myself over things I did. Hugs.
 
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