Sexually based depression

[AndHellFollowedWithIt]

Hello everyone, I just joined and I'm happy to be on here . I wanted to open up a discussion about sexually based depression. What I mean by that is depression surrounding sexual issues. Either feeling worthless because of your sexuality or your lack of sexual vigor. Or finding that general thoughts about sex end up leading you depressive feelings. I would be happy to hear about any and all of that because those are all things that I have dealt with and I haven't seen any other posts about it. Hope everyone is doing well

 

[karl7]

i used to have severe depression in my 20's and late teens, but i never associated it with my lack of sex (yeah imstill a virgin at 44) but anyway the lack of sex did not cause my depression, the depression was related to my experience of being badly bullied as a teen....

i know being a virgin was something that did get me down when i was younger but it definitely did not cause my depression.....

amyway does this post even make sense....im not sure what youre asking for

 

[AndHellFollowedWithIt]

Yes, your post definitely makes sense . I guess I deal with a lot of issues surrounding masculinity and sex. For me that is basically all tied into one. Like I have definitely felt at times that I was worthless because I wasn't good with women. So, I guess what I'm getting at is sex being a trigger for depressive spirals. Maybe that is a clearer way of putting it.

 

[AndHellFollowedWithIt]

My depression didn't come from lack of sex either btw. It mostly comes from psychological abuse that I recieved as a kid but it has definitely always been a strong trigger in terms of leading me into depressive spirals and negative emotions.

 

[JessisMe]

Welcome to the forums, Andhell.
xo, j

 

[AndHellFollowedWithIt]

Hi haha, thanks a ton JessisMe

 

[kimidare]

Hi

I am not confident at all with things surrounding sex. I have a lack of desire, or maybe it is just automatically blocked by my brain. I don t know.

I had an abusive, rapist boyfriend. The relationship lasted 9 months. My first time was with him at 16 years old, so I had no experience before that. I have 26 years old, so it was 10 years ago.

In addition to the lack of desire, I don t want to initiate anything. Because if I do, I have the feeling that I prove that it s my fault for what happened with him. And I am scarred that if do something, the other person insists to have more etc.

I always have the fear that my current boyfriend can quit me due to the lack of sex, and I feel abnormal.

Have you already work with a psy or talk with someone (here or irl) about the psychological abuse ?

 

[A Celt]

Hi.
I agree that this is a relevant topic to have as a discussion thread.
I think that regardless of whether the root cause of someone's issues have a sexual aspect, the ongoing depression/anxiety/self doubt or whatever is bound to have an impact on sexual desire or confidence.
Which can become a cyclical problem where negative sexual experiences add to the existing feelings of anxiety etc.
On top of all that, many of the medications commonly used for mental health problems can have an effect on libido and performance.

 

[A Celt]

Sorry! ...posted before I was finished...lol
Personally I have had mild E.D. for about 6 years and only very recently found the confidence to speak to my GP about it. Given my clinical and medicinal history it was a breeze to get some of the 'magic blue pills' prescribed (only available by prescription here).
Haven't tried one yet, but just the added confidence of finally taking some control of the issue has been an unexpected positivity booster.

 

[Barny67]

Hi your very welcome to the forum.
I think the trigger for your depression was the abuse you received as a kid, it will have been pushed down but everything associated with it, the lack of self worth, anxiety & self confidence etc... then before or during sexual experiences,these horrible feelings will rise up like someone woke them up.
I’d look at dealing with the pain you still feel from the abuse, this will boost your sexual confidence and hopefully the rest will fall into place. Tc