• Welcome! It’s great to see you. Our forum members are people, maybe like yourself, who experience mental health difficulties or who have had them at some point in their life.

    If you'd like to talk with people who know what it's like

sexual intrusive thoughts

  • Thread starter spicytunaonigiri
  • Start date
S

spicytunaonigiri

Member
Joined
Sep 25, 2020
Messages
5
Location
UK
uhm hello i will not reveal anything about myself because im paranoid of getting recognized but does anyone here have encountered sexual intrusive thoughts? like really disgusting things you would not even consider doing ??? especially to those you know or are related with.. its just depressing that i have to suffer with these thoughts... please help me
 
bpd2020

bpd2020

Well-known member
Joined
May 25, 2020
Messages
6,942
Location
England
It is very common to have those kinds of thoughts. Please remind yourself that they are just thoughts. You cannot help having them and they do not have any reflection on you as a person.
 
On Fire

On Fire

Well-known member
Joined
Sep 21, 2011
Messages
534
Location
London
Is it more commonly part of EUPD rather than OCD?
 
J

Javaexpress

New member
Joined
Oct 22, 2020
Messages
2
Location
Canada
I really suffered from intrusive sexual thoughts. Still have them but there is less suffering. It can be very distressing. Have you thought of looking for hope/solace in that you find them distressing, which for me help me label them as an OCD intrusive thought?

So now for me a thought pops in, I think "Oh, that's a messed up thought. Probably OCD, I can let that one go."

The only thing that sometimes helps me, is trying to accept that these things aren't "me," they are a messed up brain chemistry!
 
A

AtlantaPerson

Member
Joined
Nov 9, 2020
Messages
6
Location
Atlanta
Yeah, don't worry about, lol. Easy said than done I know, but I also know that no matter what thoughts and feelings you have, there's nothing wrong with you. I'm straight and had OCD about my sexuality, after being unable to perform sexually for a time. I eventually was just like f it, asked everyone if they'd support me if I was gay, there were all cool and good with it, and the insecurity literally evaporated. In fact, I have physically felt it leave my body, and I have not felt this good in years.

You're probably just scared of people judging you for having certain thoughts. But what I've learned is that thoughts are thoughts. Just that. There's LITERALLY no thought that can exist that you need to feel ashamed for having. Pedophilic thoughts, animal sex, violent gory disturbing images, homosexual thoughts if you fear being gay, sex w family members... Seriously. Once you expose it to the light and make people who you trust / therapist aware of the thought literally just evaporates. It loses its grip on you. And you can laugh at it, like, I was scared that I was a pedaphile? A pervert? A psycho? That's completely whack, there's actually literally nothing wrong with me. In facts it's so ridiculous, it's kind of funny.

There's a real you out there, and that person is secure, confident, and perfect. They are not morally depraved, perverted, defective, or disturbed. They have no shame. You may not see it, but from an objective point of view, you're perfect, and it's only fear of thoughts that will distract you from seeing that reality. If a person would judge you for having sexually intrusive thoughts, then that person doesn't understand the fundamental nature of what thoughts are, and so their judgement must be disregarded, as it is misplaced. anyway, try not to worry about it. There's no thought that you could have that is disturbing or perverted enough that I would judge you, because I understand the fundamental nature of what's occurring with you and it's nothing to worry about. :)
 
Bizzarebitrary

Bizzarebitrary

Well-known member
Joined
Dec 17, 2018
Messages
679
Location
California, US
I wonder if that's a values attack by the OCD? What we hold most dear about ourselves, called core values, become targets. For example a personal moral code of mine is non-violence, so of course, I will get sticky thoughts about assaulting someone I'm really bothered by.
 
A

AtlantaPerson

Member
Joined
Nov 9, 2020
Messages
6
Location
Atlanta
Yes! And it feels so good to know that the thing that you fear deep down the most about you, is actually literally the opposite of what you are. Like, that fear means that more than anything, your strength and character is of non-violence. My fear was about sexuality because I have such a strong desire for love, kindness, acceptance, and intimacy. It seems also to have a strong judgement component. Like 'I'm scared people will find out I have this fear, because if they do, they might think it is true of me.' But of course it's not. And it is so much more important that you know and express that, and feel in your heart that that's not you, then causing someone to have an inaccurate and negative judgement of you. Like, if that judgement exists but you know its not true, it might as well belong to someone else, if they want to have, but YOU don't need that shit. YOU don't have to be the one to hang on that judgement and carry it with you. And also - if someone were to say that of you, and YOU know it's not true, then fuck them. Or just correct them, and if they still judge you, then fuck them! Lol. Like, I feel the only people to misinterpret or judge if you express these thoughts are the ones who don't understand the fundamental nature of thoughts and of this phenomenon. And why should their judgements matter anyways? They're WRONG! And it's important to know, like, if I knew you in person and you were like man I'm imagining stabbing you or hurting you in someone and it's freaking me out, I wouldn't feel like oh is this guy going to hurt me? I'd just respond like, okay, and how do you feel about that thought? And you could be like, yeah that's ridiculous. Humor is good too. Laugh at it. Say it out loud and call bullshit on it. If it's ridiculous, ridicule it. I was talking to my roommate this morning and said that when I went through a drug induced psychosis, I could never hook up because if I was eating a girl out, I'd be like oh God what if this was my mom? That'd be GROSS! And he was like imagine looking up and being like 'I'm really glad you're not my mom', and we were just dying laughing. And then I just let it go. It was like, that's a funny fear. I guess the reality is, I'm like everyone else in that the thought of familial sex is repulsive. But the fact that I'm repelled by that idea is EVIDENCE OF MY NORMALCY! So now it doesn't weird me out, but just because I can talk about it openly and laugh about it.
 
A

Albertina_Wanderson

New member
Joined
Nov 11, 2020
Messages
4
Location
United States
Yes it is common to have sexual intrusive thoughts and it often involves children or family members. It is just your thought so don't feel sad or guilty
 
D

dhs94

Member
Joined
Sep 16, 2020
Messages
12
Location
Los Angeles, CA
I've struggled with these on occasion and one thing that really helps me to separate with this one is how aware you are that this disturbs you and that you would never consider doing it. The fact that, is your first reaction as opposed to sexual pleasure really tells you that it's just your OCD playing tricks on you and trying to convince you of something you know deep down isn't true. I know it can be hard to distinguish and can make you feel bad and icky, but just know that this is super common and that it's the disorder in this case, it's not you.
 
A

AtlantaPerson

Member
Joined
Nov 9, 2020
Messages
6
Location
Atlanta
Thanks.
For me, what was so scarring is that I experienced al this through a break from reality. I was addicted to pot, and then doing acid really heavily. (I'm now been sober 19 month, and it's been 6 years since all that happened). But it was just the INTENSITY of it. Like, every time I'd get fucked up, it would be these ideas of : incest, pedophila, homosexuality, beastiality, violence, violent sex. Probably at some point rape and cannabilism, and torture. All that would just would assault me, like my mind frantically was resisting it but seemingly convincing evidence that I was all of those things would pop up and contradict me. It was humiliating at the deepest level. But I've finally processed through it, by speaking about it without shame. Because why should I have shame? When I bring this stuff to light now, with a sober conscience, it's laughable. It really easy. These ideas, only supported by fear, and never by reasoned evidence.

Anyways, greatly humbled and grateful. I feel now that there's nothing I have to hide, nothing I can't laugh at, and nothing I can't make light of. It feels like the heros journey; descent into madness and darkness, then the inevitable emergence into the light and the triumph over the greatest of inner demons. Why this should be my story, I don't know, but it feels pretty fucking dope.

Peace y'all, best of luck.
 
A

AtlantaPerson

Member
Joined
Nov 9, 2020
Messages
6
Location
Atlanta
Thanks dhs94, I've made that observation as well, and it seems so obvious now. Lol. Wish I knew sooner. Oh well, now I know :)
 
Top