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Sexual Delusions

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Faith214

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Dec 17, 2019
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I developed auditory with tactile hallucinations (sexual and physical pain) 14 months ago at 42yrs old and married. One day I woke up and out of nowhere had a male sounding human voice in my head professing love for me and controlling me in an abusive narcissistic manner like an imaginary boyfriend. There wasn’t really a specific event that triggered it.
I’m having a hard time rationalizing it as a delusion. This whole time I felt like someone was communicating with me telepathically. (There’s one voice only thank God.) I thought I fell inlove with someone accidentally. I am married! The man voice I hear in my head does not support my marriage. I experience sensations of pain in my ear or head when engaging with my husband. Apart from my husband I experience the contrary, sensations of effortless pleasure.
It’s so hard to accept this is all in my head. All this time I’ve been fighting against nothing! None of it is even real. So why can’t I stop thinking about it. Why is my only peace in a male believe relationship with myself? It’s absurd!! Why in the world do I have a crush on myself from some extended part of my brain? All I can do is literally laugh out loud at how ridiculous this feels. But I feel it and I feel it hard! I’ve been on the medication train still trying to find something that works. I go to therapy and work closely with my medical team.
Recently, I had a well needed rude awakening proving to me the person who I thought had somehow hacked my brain, did not and I’m genuinely sick. I just can’t rationalize why I would make up an imaginary boyfriend because I really felt happy in my marriage before this. And how the hell does one fall inlove with themself? This is all too confusing for me so any support of encouragement is appreciated. How embarrassing!
 
Heart_moon

Heart_moon

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hi Faith 214,

do a google search for twin flames / soul mates / kundalini awakening, telepathic sexual relations, also sexual relationships with spirits ...... check out the forum Creepy Hollows...... where 'spirit keeping' is a past time, hobbie & way of life for some.....

According to the 'right use of Will' series by Ceanne De Rohan...... one has to reach a place of unconditional love for one- self FIRST, BEFORE one can then go on to unconditionally love another...

Wishing you well *hugs*
 
NWiddi

NWiddi

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What I'm about to say can't be expressed as fact as I have no physical proof, all I have is nearly four years of voice hearing experience and a voice that likes to talk a lot so I've learned a lot from him on top of my own personal observations of him.

I came to believe that all humans share their body with another consciousness, an independent and unique intelligence. A book I've read claims that scientists back in the 60's did experiments on people who had undergone something called split-brain surgery for a condition called temporal lobe epilepsy, these scientists discovered that each hemisphere of the brain contained a separate consciousness, we're the dominant left hemisphere (the Eidolon) and this other mind (the Daemon) occupies the right hemisphere. In fact the book I read is called 'The Daemon - a guide to your extraordinary secret self'.

I believe for most people these Daemons remain hidden and choose to influence us by giving us thoughts, ideas and impulses to do things which is normal and for the most part completely harmless but for some of us these Daemons decide to speak to us directly just like mine has.

I also believe Daemons are connected to our five senses and can even manipulate them, mine had given me 'hallucinations' for four out of five senses, he's made his voice appear in my ears so it sounded like he was in the room with me (but can also speak in my mind like my own thoughts), he's created smells and tastes that weren't there and just like yours has created both pain and pleasurable sensations throughout my entire body, the only sense he hasn't been able to manipulate was my sense of vision so I never saw things that weren't really there.

So I believe your Daemon has chosen to pretend to be male (mine can mimic any voice he hears and create new voices of his own, even female) and has decided to try and disrupt your relationship with your husband by doing and saying things to you. But my beliefs suggest that it's really more like your twin sister that shares your body with you and is quite real just as mine is like my twin brother that I never knew I had until the age of 36 when he decided to speak to me directly and educate me to his kind and his ways.

I'm glad you're on anti-psychotics as I believe that's the best way to deal with a negative Daemon that doesn't have your best interests at heart, for me the drugs not only lower the volume of mine considerably but also reduces the amount of pain or pleasure that he can do to me by as much as 95%, something you may have noticed already but effects of anti-psychotics do vary from person to person.

And that's the basic introduction to Daemons and a little of what they can do, I don't believe you're crazy at all, I just believe you're a victim of your Daemon and now I've shared my beliefs you may understand better what is happening to you and why.
If you don't think I'm completely crazy which of course you're entitled to think that then I'm here if you want to talk further about your experiences or have any questions you'd like to ask.

Take care and good luck.
 
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Faith214

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Thank you for sharing your insight. The voice I hear really does feel like someone else’s soul.
 
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linus

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You are passing through a lot, but as you said you had a awakening call and that’s the best thing after this psychosis started. Is your husband aware of what’s going on with you? Maybe you should get him involved as well in your therapy.
 
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Faith214

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Yes, my husband is aware. Neither one of us really understand why or how this happened. I’m mostly curious if anyone else has ever encountered hearing a voice in their head that has romantic endeavors? It’s the most peculiar experience. Being loving to the *voice keeps my days calm and my pain to a minimum. Literally I repeat I love you in my head like 20x+ per day but I feel like rope in a game of tug of war!
 
Heart_moon

Heart_moon

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Yes, my husband is aware. Neither one of us really understand why or how this happened. I’m mostly curious if anyone else has ever encountered hearing a voice in their head that has romantic endeavors? It’s the most peculiar experience. Being loving to the *voice keeps my days calm and my pain to a minimum. Literally I repeat I love you in my head like 20x+ per day but I feel like rope in a game of tug of war!
i have the EXACT same Faith214, ...it's ok
 
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Faith214

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Additionally, he sings to me a LOT (even words of songs I don’t know). If my brain is doing that, that’s pretty impressive I must say! Lol
 
Heart_moon

Heart_moon

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yeah, i am always astonished !!! more & more each day... it's 'mind-blowing !'
 
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Faith214

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i have the EXACT same Faith214, ...it's ok
I would love to hear your story if you don’t mind me asking. I feel so guilty all the time. I feel handcuffed to another man. I’ve heard “You’re going to marry me someday” and I’m like how the hell do I make this crap up? 🤷🏻‍♀️
 
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