Sexual assault? or my fault?

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marshmallow24

New member
Joined
Apr 2, 2019
Messages
2
Location
South africa
#1
Hi there . This is my first post and im in desperate need of help :(
See last year i was in hospital. During my stay there, my psychologist told me to befriend this guy because hes well a good guy. Some being the naive sucker for befriending people went ahead and spoke to him. BIG MISTAKE.

One night after taking medication, i went to the toilet and he followed me into the ladies loo where he pushed me into the cubicle and started kissing me forcefully. Then he proceeded to touch me down there and pulled out his junk. I hated it but due to the meds i just took i was kind of drugged. So i have no idea how i got out of there. I probably pushed and ran.

Now i blocked it out, but as you peeps know ,things have a way of haunting us when we try to suppress them. I feel dirty and cheap especially because he told me "thanks i really needed that" the next day and acted like what he did was right. Im confused because im not sure if i caused it for myself. I do know i get abit promiscuous when im manic during a bipolar episode. so im really confused right now if i was assaulted or if it was my fault.i have no idea what to do. I feel so dirty and really angry with myself.

Please help.

Im 20 btw. This happened when i was 19.
 
L

linus

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Mar 27, 2019
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357
Location
Eastern Europe
#2
All that matters is what you choose to do from now on. The past only affects you like an inertia movement, you had some emotions and even if the event has passed it still causes some distress, but it just fades away with time.
 
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EstherRose94

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Mar 2, 2019
Messages
1,400
Location
USA
#3
well even if you’d been acting promiscuous you didn’t like what he was doing in that moment and he didn’t catch on to that and pause to see if you were okay with it. You know what I mean?
Without the full scoop of course I can’t say much but it’s definitely not your fault, especially since your medication was making you foggy.
I’m sorry you’re going through this because I’m sure it’s scary and painful to keep thinking about it but try to be kind to yourself.
 
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Prince Charming

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Joined
Mar 29, 2019
Messages
51
Location
Milton Keynes
#4
Marshmallow they are soft and sweet I am sure you are Report this B. Do not let him get away with this Go to the Police if yoù feel .it is the bèst way fòrward for yòu I am sorry you had such an ordeal try to be more kind to yourself.:welcome:
 
albie

albie

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Joined
Nov 22, 2013
Messages
168
#5
He took advantage of you. But without meeting him I don't think I can judge him. He may well be a complete maniac. Still this shouldn't have happened. I really don't think men and women should be on the same ward like that.
 
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zusy40

Well-known member
Joined
Sep 27, 2013
Messages
73
#6
What happened was wrong, you are in no fault but he should have not been allowed to have gotten into that position.

When I was in hospital the staff strictly monitored, it was a mixed ward, but I remember being told off for going near a guy I have a memory of just casually sitting on his lap in the sitting room. It was completely innocent but they then made sure it never happened again and closely monitored. It's horrible to hear of what happened to you, did you ever report it to anyone?
 
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EstherRose94

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Joined
Mar 2, 2019
Messages
1,400
Location
USA
#7
Yeah you’re right like given the circumstances both he and the place you two were staying are to blame.
 
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khuang

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Joined
Jun 26, 2014
Messages
470
Location
Avenue Q in the US
#8
Sexual assault is absolutely never your fault when it happens to you. I wish that someone had told me that when it was happening to me in junior high. For months it kept happening and I had no real proof that it was the same kid who I know did it the first time and was only punished for that attack. Back then I wasn’t ready to talk about it and when the school told my family months later that it had occurred and that I was now terrified of taking gym class, they were trying to force me to talk about it and never made me feel like it wasn’t my fault or that it was okay that I was not ready to discuss about what had happened and that I wouldn’t be judged for it when I was ready to talk.
 

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