• Welcome! It’s great to see you.

    If you'd like to talk with people who know what it's like

    Our forum members are people, maybe like yourself, who experience mental health difficulties or who have had them at some point in their life.

Sexual abuse and depression

P

Permanent Midnight

New member
Founding Member
Joined
May 4, 2008
Messages
2
Hi everyone,

I have been diagnosed with depression 2 years ago (this is my second diagnosed episode - although I have been struggling with anxiety and depression since childhood).

I have read and heard that sexual abuse victims can often suffer from depression throughtout their lives... My question is regarding repressed memories of sexual abuse at an early age.

I have always experienced problems with each partner that I have had in my life. Sometimes, out of the blue, I cannot stand being touched by my partner when he intiates sex. I try to think of something else hoping that this feeling will go away but nothing works. I still feel sick to my stomach and have to ask him to stop.This does not happen often, but it is reccurent. I've struggle all my life with low self-esteem, self-hatred, self-injury, hating how my body looks and sleeping with men early in the relationship hoping that they will "love me more"...

I do have "flashbacks", memories of the basement of my babysitter's house when I was really young. No details come to mind except that it was dark down there and feeling scared and unconfortable. I also have a vague memory of my babysitter's husband who was also in the house. I sometimes think I am loosing my mind. I have absolutely no proof or clear memory that anything ever happened to me. But I keep wondering if maybe something did. What should I do? Is it possible to not remember? If so, is there a way to remember sexual abuse that might of happened at a very young age?

If anyone would like to share their experiences regarding repressed memories of abuse, it would be greatly appreciated. I would like to find out if something did happen to me in order to fix it. I am tired of being depressed and wanting to die. I also feel really bad for my boyfriend because he's the nicest guy in the world and this affects him too.

Thank you!
 
A

Apotheosis

Guest
I do have "flashbacks", memories of the basement of my babysitter's house when I was really young. No details come to mind except that it was dark down there and feeling scared and unconfortable. I also have a vague memory of my babysitter's husband who was also in the house. I sometimes think I am loosing my mind. I have absolutely no proof or clear memory that anything ever happened to me.
I believe that I was seriously sexually abused the first time I was under section. I do have some frightening & clear memories which don't add up except in the context of abuse. I won't go into details here. Most of the four months on the section is missing from my memory. There are only very limited memories & about 7 moments or small windows of time which I can remember from that period. I was given allot of drugs during that admission. Injections, largactil & handfuls of stuff. Some 4 years after that admission - a national paper ran a front page & series of reports on systematic abuse & widespread sexual abuse of patients; which was focused on the ward I was on & the time I was there fell in the middle of the period the abuse took place.

When I speak to people about it; mainly they don't believe me, & no one wants to talk about it. I try to just forget about it.
 
S

slow jo

Member
Founding Member
Joined
Mar 28, 2008
Messages
23
Hi i supressed memories of sexual abuse for over 20 years,
It was at my dad's funeral when I saw my abuser for the first time in at last 15yrs that the memories came flooding back. I have since had severe major depression which seems to be tratment resisant. I have tried therapy but this only made things worse for me. No-one knew not my family or my husband until I tried to take my own life, that was 3yrs ago. My abuser has since been sentanced to prison (not really my wish but felt pushed into pressing charges) where he died 6 months later. I now feel so much guilt that 1, he was sent to prison and 2, thats where he spent his last days.
Know one can or should tell you what to do or feel you have to do whats right for you. good luck and I am thinking of you.
 
Ashami

Ashami

Well-known member
Founding Member
Joined
Jan 28, 2008
Messages
1,033
Location
The Wilderness
Hi PM and :welcome:

Until recent years I too repressed memories of two sexual abuse events, one at the age of 4 and another at 6. I had completed supressed the first memory but the second remained in the back of my mind in a very vague sort of way. I was never sure if it was a dream, warped imagination or real.

I did 'find out' what I believe to be the truth. If you are interested to know how please pm me.
 
D

Dollit

Guest
I think it's wise to be careful of childhood memories seen with an adult mind. Memories can be very deceptive and not all memories such as the one you describe are linked to sexual abuse. :hug:
 
Similar threads
Thread starter Title Forum Replies Date
Fairy Lucretia can sexual abuse happen in marriage? Depression Forum 22
P meds advice sexual side effects Depression Forum 5
R Seven years of abuse Depression Forum 2
I I’ve relapsed into self harm and drug abuse Depression Forum 6
D Hi I'm new here and have suffered depression since early 90's Depression Forum 2
The_Sun_Shines Advice for you on loniless and depression Depression Forum 5
S obsession with depression Depression Forum 2
T Depression and studies Depression Forum 6
H Husband has depression Depression Forum 3
IcyShadow Poem about Depression Depression Forum 2
A Sexually based depression Depression Forum 9
A Suffering from a depression whose reason I don't realise. Depression Forum 13
P Cheating Spouse and Depression Depression Forum 6
Hardknocks88 New normal depression Depression Forum 1
M Depression and Narcissm Depression Forum 2
Barny67 Clarity after depression. Depression Forum 4
C Am I causing my girlfriend's depression? Depression Forum 11
J Depression and misguided actions Depression Forum 10
E Excessive sleep+depression+OCD= lost Depression Forum 2
C Loneliness and Depression Depression Forum 8
S My boyfriends depression has become worse and now he’s acting mean? Depression Forum 63
H At a loss - Not sure what else to try to help depression Depression Forum 6
L My Depression...and Yours Depression Forum 5
Carol1952 Sleeping a lot due to depression Depression Forum 11
M Agitated Depression Depression Forum 6
J Hello All. Living with someone in depression Depression Forum 1
J Depression and University Depression Forum 9
R What are signs of depression? Depression Forum 3
P Depression? Depression Forum 5
P Being Lonely With Depression Depression Forum 14
S How do you get out of a depression? Depression Forum 5
F Sleep and Anxiety / Depression Depression Forum 5
C Depression & new relationships. Depression Forum 6
M Mild but chronic depression Depression Forum 3
N Depression and or eating disorder. How do I begin to get help? Depression Forum 13
Z Did anyone experience the same depression? Depression Forum 1
N cause of depression are from past lives Depression Forum 1
G Ex with depression Depression Forum 3
M Do you use another platform about depression besides this this forum? Depression Forum 1
R insane depression and hopelessness non stop Depression Forum 11
R Can you function with depression? Depression Forum 8
Z How was your first depression? Depression Forum 12
M How depression feels like? Depression Forum 9
trojan New partner's sudden depression - how to deal with it? Depression Forum 35
M Depression sucks Depression Forum 8
P Probably have depression/A little bit of a vent Depression Forum 4
M My narcissist father is antagonising my depression Depression Forum 4
LolaMontez Struggling badly with my depression with a 4 year old Depression Forum 4
R Why have I been treatment resistant so far? Is there any hope for me overcoming depression? Depression Forum 2
G Can depression cause these symptoms? Depression Forum 2

Similar threads

Top