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sex as release of day to day pressures



New member
May 21, 2018

I am new here and do not know if this is ok to post here as i am a carer as well. i hope it is.

I have been my wife's carer for a long time now and we have always had an active and good sexual relationship. She now has been in remission of cancer now for 12 month and also suffers from mental health problems, but still is not interested in sex even she now is physical recovered. the problem is that sex always has been a pressure release and a necessity to life for me. i have got chronic illnesses myself and suffer from mental health as well, as my wife is and sex was something which kept my equilibrium..

I few years back, when we were younger, we were swingers and had an open relationship, we have been married now for 35 years and are rock solid, as we have always been, never any problems or secrets.
My wife suffered a trauma, about 7 years back, which caused her mental health problems and that it when she did withdraw from society and the outside world, as according to her, they can not be trusted.
She has told me that i can go ahead and have sex with somebody else, but not in our house or any overnight stays and she does not want to be told about it.
We have talked to our Dr and my wife's counselor and also now her psychiatrist, but they all just say to give it time.
I live 40 miles from the nearest town, have not dated for years, so i would not even know where to start to find a willing partner.
Neither do i have the time to look, as i am a carer for her 7 days a week all day and just have a little time in the evening.
so my question is does anybody have any ideas how to deal with this, should I consider looking for carers in the same boat as me, for some mutual relief?
Or would this be wrong?


Wow I'm sorry about that. You and your wife agreed to it. I'd say go for it. Make sure the person doesn't have s.t.d. you don't wanna get you or your wife sick. Others may strongly disagree with this.