
Catharsis
Member
I posted something before but I'm gonna ask something in a different way now...
I have been considering, for a while, breaking contact/severing ties with some friends who have let me down over the years.
This includes my best friend of 19 years, another friend I have known for about 14 years, and three more friends I have known for under 10 years.
The bottom line is that my best friend has continually let me down since we were very young, and I always forgave/still forgive him and he takes nothing from this. He keeps pushing boundaries and I'm feeling foolish for allowing this cycle to continue when the only thing he takes from it is what he can get away with. His behaviour is bound to only get worse despite many talks over the years addressing our issues with each other.
It's pretty much the same thing for all my friends, I make excuses for them and continue being there for them even though when it comes to me, no one is around when I need them the most.
I have given much thought to this for many months. I think the best thing to do is have conversations with each of these people individually, tell them that they've let me down and that I have nothing left to give. I have no interest in fighting, I just don't want to continue on this path of always giving other people the time of day and when it comes to myself, putting on a happy face and being this enabler that I have become.
I know it may make me look like a pompous asshole calling them one day out of the blue and pretty much telling them they're all bad friends, but I need to cut these ties because all these friendships are doing are poisoning me. I also need to think of myself more. Besides, there's a little thing called tact which I'm well aware of and will use.
Any thoughts welcome.
I have been considering, for a while, breaking contact/severing ties with some friends who have let me down over the years.
This includes my best friend of 19 years, another friend I have known for about 14 years, and three more friends I have known for under 10 years.
The bottom line is that my best friend has continually let me down since we were very young, and I always forgave/still forgive him and he takes nothing from this. He keeps pushing boundaries and I'm feeling foolish for allowing this cycle to continue when the only thing he takes from it is what he can get away with. His behaviour is bound to only get worse despite many talks over the years addressing our issues with each other.
It's pretty much the same thing for all my friends, I make excuses for them and continue being there for them even though when it comes to me, no one is around when I need them the most.
I have given much thought to this for many months. I think the best thing to do is have conversations with each of these people individually, tell them that they've let me down and that I have nothing left to give. I have no interest in fighting, I just don't want to continue on this path of always giving other people the time of day and when it comes to myself, putting on a happy face and being this enabler that I have become.
I know it may make me look like a pompous asshole calling them one day out of the blue and pretty much telling them they're all bad friends, but I need to cut these ties because all these friendships are doing are poisoning me. I also need to think of myself more. Besides, there's a little thing called tact which I'm well aware of and will use.
Any thoughts welcome.
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