Severe Thoughts - Help!

[Jamie]

I couldn't sleep at all last night. I am experiencing severe suicidal thoughts and don't know who to turn to. I've booked an appointment with my GP later but I feel he won't take me seriously as it was only a month since I saw him last with the same problem.
There is nothing wrong in my life, I'm "happy" and have everything to live for, however I keep falling into this pit of low moods.

What's wrong with me!?

 

[intelgal]

Sorry your feeling so rough

You ve done the right thing going to your GP and hope the appointment goes ok. Tell your Gp exactly how your feeling it may even be worth writing it down.

If you dont feel you get the support you need I urge you to present at A and E and they will be able to get an on call psych team to assess you.

Good Luck
Intel
x

 

[KP1]

The GP will take you seriously. Hope you are ok.
KP

 

[jamesdean]

Its hard when you first tell your gp but honestly you have to believe in yourself in the way that you feel, You know that things havent changed and that they are not right with your low mood and any gp should take you seriously, I hop that you find this forum helpfull supportive and keep posting jd

 

[Jamie]

Just got back from the GP. He was very reassuring. He has increased my meds dosage, I'm currently taking 15mg Mirtazapine, it's now up to 30mg. He has also referred me for psychotherapy. He said that because there is no reason for my low moods, he feels it could be due to an imbalance in the brain... Whatever that means.

I'm feeling a bit better now.

 

[intelgal]

Glad that your appointment went ok. Depression is caused by a physiological imbalance of 'brain' chemicals these can be influenced by other factors such as stress but can also be caused for unknown reasons.

Keep posting though .....

 

[emski]

Hi Jamie,

Sorry to hear you're having a bad time. I think you should feel an improvement on your depressive symptoms with 30mg. I started off on 15mg Mirtazapine too, and it didn't become therapeutic until it was increased to 45mg, although the lower dosage 15mg has the most sedating effect (and is as such used to treat moderate insomnia) I take 15mg at night (for the sedative effect) and the further 30mg in the morning (at 30mg or higher it is less sedating).

I'm glad your GP was reassuring. Do not be afraid though, if your thoughts are disturbing and you don't know what to do, to present at A&E as intelgal suggests, or go back to your GP. They would rather you go visit more often than suffer in silence, and after all it is their job to help you.

 

[jamesdean]

I'm pleased it went ok I take 45mg of mirtazapine and I swear by it, pre ad's I used to be an insominac mostly all my life, even a bad night now will still be at least six hours, I used to have people say that I was up all night because I didnt work though even when I worked I didnt sleep, The medication isnt a cure but it will take the edge of the suicidal thoughts I used to pray every night that I wouldnt wake up but since the ad's I dont feel like that, I hadnt realised how bad things had become because has people we cope with so much, most doctors will take depression serious. Take care jd

 

[emski]

I have to agree, as much as I dislike having to be on medication, I must admit that Mirtazapine has helped my depression, and I've tried numerous anti-d's before this one with no improvement.

Of course, every medication works differently for every person. If you don't feel better in a few weeks, see your doctor again

 

[jamesdean]

I was thinking about this thread when I went to bed last night because often you forget the bad times of troubled sleep, most of my life I just didnt even go to bed just prior to the ad's I used to try to sleep because things were so bad it was like somewhere to hide under the quilt and I would go to bed at 8pm fall a sleep about midmight for an hour then get up for the rest of the night The best way I could explain how I felt was course like sandpaper, I was lucky I only had two changes of ad's and was fine on the mirtazpine though they increased the dose carefully starting at 15mg then 30mg and now for the last year or so 45mg but Its the one thing that makes me feel has normal has I can is having good sleep I still have the odd night that I can not sleep or broken sleep and somenights its actually hard work sleeping but it must be how normal people feel most of the time. I just think sleep is the most natural thing that we should all be allowed it and I feel for people who cannot sleep.
I hope that the ad's work for you, I still have depression but that wanting to die all of the time is less, I still feel suicidal at times but I dont seem to be rehearsing my death every moment of every day and I will try to reason with my mind more so these days.