Hi everyone, this is my first post, I've recently found myself at a real low point, ive suffered with depression and anxiety for as long as I can remember, I thought it was Normal for a long time, I've been on the medication (doesn't do alot) therapy (fucking expensive) even class a drugs to try and fill a gap (also very expensive and VERY counterproductive)... Things just seem to be getting worse, I've self harmed before just to feel something but I honestly think I'm just plain suicidal now, Its not a panicked feeling anymore, i can look in the mirror and have a calm composed conversation with myself about how everything would be better for myself and everyone around me if I just "fucked off"... Now as it stands I don't think I have the balls to actually go through with it (I wouldn't be posting this if I did) but I'm worried that soon I'll end up taking that step... I honestly don't know where I stand or what to do next, I feel like I've tried everything to no avail... Any words of advice or people in similar situations are very much welcomed and appreciated!