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Severe depression and self hatred

J

JaneDonald

Member
Joined
Apr 21, 2020
Messages
8
Location
Washington DC
I'm really struggling these days with my depression. I have seen a therapist for many years and I don't think thats the problem. She helps in a lot of ways but sometimes my family makes it hard to stick with what I've learned or tools I've gained in therapy. I have always hated my body and felt like I'm ugly. I have a lot of health problems where I struggle to find food I can eat and food that doesn't make me sick. I have a lot of trauma with my health problems and food-- as a kid I was dieting often for my health and it caused me to feel deprived and scared of food at the same time. I always thought that as I got older my health allergies and issues would get better. They have just gotten worse and coming to terms with that has been really hard. I struggle with body image issues like many women do but deep down I've always known that I'm fortunately not obese or extremely unhealthy in that way. With corona and being indoors because of my severe seasonal allergies I've had little exercise and it's increased my depression. My mother and I fought all last night because she essentially called me fat and said that this is the most weight I've ever gained (which I found hard to believe and was shocked to hear). I'm extremely distraught because even though I've always felt like I'm fat and unattractive, it's different when you hear your own mother and sibling say it. I've just hit a really low point in my life. Do any of you have an advice as to how to cope with this or any kind of words of reassurance? Thank you
 
Blooming

Blooming

Well-known member
Joined
Apr 15, 2020
Messages
322
Location
mycountry
So sorry to hear that you have to cope with this. :hug1: Family-members can sometimes be one's worst enemies. I am sure that your therapist has given you a lot of advice, so perhaps your problem is that you feel so sad and frustrated that you don't remember them at times when you need them. I feel sad myself today. I was mocked as a child because I was new in class when I moved with my family. Yesterday a neighbor didn't greet me and I got that terrible feeling again of being an outsider and woke up with the same feeling this morning.

I was just sitting here and playing card with myself in the hope of letting the "being an outsider feeling" to go away when decided to look into these forums. (For me laying cabal or similar works to shift focus).

So with this experience as a background I want to say the following to you: When your family behave so destructive like that, retreat to your room and let your feelings be there for a while. Nobody shall deny your experience! May be you can have a box with advices to yourself, that you can use after a while. Physical activity may help, not to make you thinner, but because fresh air (in front of an open window if you cannot go out because of corona) and the exercises will bring more oxygen to your brain and help you to be able to say to yourself: "They are not worth it".

Remember nobody is allowed to say mean things to you, not your family nor strangers. 🌹❤
 
K

karl7

Well-known member
Joined
Jul 9, 2013
Messages
885
im sorry to hear youre having such a tough time lately jane.....i hope thing s will improve for you soon
 
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