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Severe anxiety triggered by my children’s health

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Row85

Member
Joined
Nov 3, 2020
Messages
23
Location
Kuwait
I’m a Mother of 2. My first daughter was born with a mid lax ligament issue. So she constantly needs monitoring and physio to make sure her spine grows straight. That’s what triggered my anxiety. She’s now 10 and I’ve somewhat come to terms with it. We have a routine going and a good support team. She’s perfectly fine and you wouldn’t even know there was anything wrong with her. It took me almost 4 years to build up the courage to have a second child. My pregnancy was horrendous and they had to medicate me. My anxiety started to be detrimental to the baby’s health. My second child is now 5. I’ve been on and off medication and have seen therapists for the past 10 years. It’s been exhausting. Recently my anxiety has become debilitating. I wake up in a sweat and shaking. I vomit and have diarrhea. I feel as if I’m going to die.

what’s triggered this new onset of anxiety is my 5 year old. I’ve been looking at her body and I can see she has one shoulder slightly higher than the other. Everyone tells me to leave her alone and there’s nothing wrong with her. But of course with my anxiety I can’t do that, so I take her for an X- Ray. The x-Ray came back normal. And I had a physiotherapist examine her, she said she’s normal. So why won’t my Brain accept the x-Ray and the physiotherapists advice?!? Why can’t I stop. I can see she has one shoulder slightly higher. It’s there, im Not imagining it, but they tell me it’s her muscles and ligaments, she’s growing. Her x Ray is normal. So now im Contestantly looking at her and driving myself insane . Why can’t I accept the proof? I feel like I need to take her to see someone else, who and for what I don’t know. What exactly am I looking for? Most people would be relieved with a normal x-Ray result. I don’t know what’s wrong with me. I no longer can trust my motherly instincts, my anxiety has taken over and is causing me to think irrationally ( I think). I’m so confused.

I’ve started back on ciprelax, I’ve completed two weeks now and I still have this feeling of dread. Im also taking Xanax ( which is not helping)
Sorry for the long message. My Brain is just all over the place.
 
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Zoe1

Well-known member
Joined
Jul 8, 2019
Messages
13,549
Location
Nowhere
sounds like munchausen by proxy Row
you need to contact a doctor about yourself
and how your illness is impacting on your child
 
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Row85

Member
Joined
Nov 3, 2020
Messages
23
Location
Kuwait
sounds like munchausen by proxy Row
you need to contact a doctor about yourself
and how your illness is impacting on your child
I have seen many therapists, they don’t believe it’s munchausen because my first child actually has a physical issue that is real . They believe that has triggered my anxiety and the fact that anxiety runs in my family. They believe i have huge fear of my other daughter having it, or anyone in my family getting ill. I think it’s the fear of the unknown. The what if. I hate hospitals and doctors, they give me great anxiety.
 
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Zoe1

Well-known member
Joined
Jul 8, 2019
Messages
13,549
Location
Nowhere
well maybe if you contact some kind of family support service / social services
or whatever its called in your area
about how your illness is affecting the family ...
 
R

Row85

Member
Joined
Nov 3, 2020
Messages
23
Location
Kuwait
well maybe if you contact some kind of family support service / social services
or whatever its called in your area
about how your illness is affecting the family ...
Yes im back in counseling now. I don’t want it to affect my children.
 
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