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Severe anxiety and feeling rushed.

R

Retaw

Active member
Joined
May 10, 2019
Messages
42
Location
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Hi everyone,

Hopefully I can talk about my problems here and somebody can help me out to clear things ups. This would help me out a lot.

Long story short, things are going bad with me. I feel like no one understand me. I suffer from generalized anxiety, social anxiety and agoraphobia. At this moment I feel at the lowest point of my life.

I’m currently waiting for day treatment for all of my symptoms. I feel like I can’t handle it.

At this moment I can’t leave my house normally, but also at home I feel super bad. I can’t visit supermarkets, I haven’t seen my friends for a long time and I even have panic attacks opening for post deliveries. I try to get out of all this mess. I try exposure, but I constantly feel super anxious and floaty. I constantly feel a lot of pressure on my head. Soon my family is going to visit me and I’m even anxious for that. Can you believe it? This are people who want to help me, but I just don’t feel comfortable anymore with them. I almost don’t feel comfortable with anyone at this moment. I feel rushed and I can’t relax. I wake up bad, I feel bad during the day and I am going to sleep bad. The only way sometimes too forget about things is to distract myself by gaming. Emotionally I can’t cry to let things out. This feels like a big issue.

It began severe 3 years ago. It’s getting worse every month. I had therapy for a long time, but actually I wasn’t at a place where they helped people with anxiety.

There where some important triggers, but I wish not to say this in this public topic.

Today I’ve read a article about paranoia and it made me feel so bad this day. I’m afraid I have it.

Hopefully someone is here to talk with me. I would appreciate it so much.
 
Z

Zoe1

Well-known member
Joined
Jul 8, 2019
Messages
4,049
Location
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just to say I get all of these things at times
I have found a good therapist finally
after years of searching

and a support group
its an uphill struggle but it can improve

:grouphug: ✨
 
StarryKnight33

StarryKnight33

Well-known member
Joined
Nov 1, 2019
Messages
92
Location
Uk
I've had panic disorder and generalized anxiety for years. Exposure therapy and medication is what works for me but it's different for everyone. I know how horrible and desperate it all feels. It really is an awful thing to go through and only those who've experienced it truly understand. I don't have much advice per say as coping mechanisms are different for everyone but I'm always here to talk and listen 💜
 
R

Retaw

Active member
Joined
May 10, 2019
Messages
42
Location
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Do you people think it’s just generalized anxiety if you read my story? I’m just doubting myself a lot! My biggest fear where I’m fighting for is losing control and I feel like I’m losing it more and more. I can’t find inner rest and I feel constantly haunted down by stress.

It’s such a struggle.. If I’m walking outside for example I’m super anxious I come someone across who wants to speak with me. I feel my hard pumping and feel like I need to run. But where to? Also my irrational thoughts are doing me so much pain. If I didn’t had these I didn’t have this fear of losing control.

I just don’t know how I’m going to survive the upcoming period of time...
 
R

Retaw

Active member
Joined
May 10, 2019
Messages
42
Location
.
just to say I get all of these things at times
I have found a good therapist finally
after years of searching

and a support group
its an uphill struggle but it can improve

:grouphug: ✨
is it working out for you? And what is your diagnose if I may ask? After 3 years I’m still doubting what I really have. Sometimes I think, well this is it and then some other symptom comes by and I think it’s something else again. Now it’s being paranoid. I’ve read people who have that are anxious to and feel like they can’t seem to get out of it just like me. I have moments where I’m afraid of stuff completely irrational, but it feels real. At these moment it seems like I can’t clear my mind.

My unhealthy lifestyle is making my symptoms worse and I know it. I just don’t know what to do. I try to practise things, but I can’t seem to chill down.

In these 3 years I had periods where my social anxiety and agoraphobia where a bit less, but now it feels like ages ago.

I just making myself mad because of my own brain... I just want to.. Chill.. And be normal and can do things other people can. I don’t know why me or anyone have to experience this. It feel like there is no end.
 
R

Retaw

Active member
Joined
May 10, 2019
Messages
42
Location
.
I've had panic disorder and generalized anxiety for years. Exposure therapy and medication is what works for me but it's different for everyone. I know how horrible and desperate it all feels. It really is an awful thing to go through and only those who've experienced it truly understand. I don't have much advice per say as coping mechanisms are different for everyone but I'm always here to talk and listen 💜
Can you tell me more about how exposure worked out for you and how long it take? I feel like things doesn’t seems to get easier at the moment. I have periods of times where I start things and I do things, but always get back worse then before..

I’m super glad that I can talk here with people who have knowledge about it. I have people around me who know what a panic attack is, but symptoms like I have.. Nope. They all try to help me, but I feel like there is nothing really helping me what they say. I’m at least glad that I’m not completely alone in this. There are also people who have to go through this alone.
 
StarryKnight33

StarryKnight33

Well-known member
Joined
Nov 1, 2019
Messages
92
Location
Uk
Can you tell me more about how exposure worked out for you and how long it take? I feel like things doesn’t seems to get easier at the moment. I have periods of times where I start things and I do things, but always get back worse then before..

I’m super glad that I can talk here with people who have knowledge about it. I have people around me who know what a panic attack is, but symptoms like I have.. Nope. They all try to help me, but I feel like there is nothing really helping me what they say. I’m at least glad that I’m not completely alone in this. There are also people who have to go through this alone.
Exposure works for me because I force myself to do what is scaring me....by doing it over and over it becomes normal and no longer frightening. During my bad anxiety episodes I can't even leave the house! But gradually, a bit further each time, I force myself. Don't get me wrong it's horribly difficult and I feel like I can't go through with it, but I do. And eventually I'm out and about without much trouble at all. For me that's the trick in beating anxiety, teaching yourself that it's nothing to be afraid of. Put yourself in control not the other way around. And yes from what you've said I do think it's anxiety that you're suffering from, I've had every single one of your symptoms xx
 
R

Retaw

Active member
Joined
May 10, 2019
Messages
42
Location
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That’s so brave. For me at this moment I feel like I can’t put myself over it. To have control outside. I try it, but it just seems so difficult now. Compared to a year ago it has increased in level it feels. I’m terrible at looking at the positive things. If there is a single moment where I feel bad I only focus on that.

Besides all of this I have doubts about myself too. I don’t know who I really am. I hope there is a good version of myself who can enjoy things en live without pain. If you think away all the anxiety I generally just feel very bad in my own skin. I don’t really see the beauty of things anymore as I use to do. Very rare at least. There is always something in me that I just can’t fully enjoy something because there is something in me that has to be aware.
 
StarryKnight33

StarryKnight33

Well-known member
Joined
Nov 1, 2019
Messages
92
Location
Uk
That’s so brave. For me at this moment I feel like I can’t put myself over it. To have control outside. I try it, but it just seems so difficult now. Compared to a year ago it has increased in level it feels. I’m terrible at looking at the positive things. If there is a single moment where I feel bad I only focus on that.

Besides all of this I have doubts about myself too. I don’t know who I really am. I hope there is a good version of myself who can enjoy things en live without pain. If you think away all the anxiety I generally just feel very bad in my own skin. I don’t really see the beauty of things anymore as I use to do. Very rare at least. There is always something in me that I just can’t fully enjoy something because there is something in me that has to be aware.
It isn't brave hun it's necessary to get over it for me. I've been at the point of clinging on to the edge of the open door literally on the verge of collapse from the intensity of the anxiety. It's brutal, horrible, scary....panic/anxiety really does take control of your entire life. There's been times like you I couldn't relax even in my own home because I wasn't comfortable in my own skin. I would just sit there, heart pounding and thoughts racing waiting for something bad to happen. Anxiety is vile and I wouldn't wish it on anyone. It does get better though as you gain control over it I promise xx
 
Z

Zoe1

Well-known member
Joined
Jul 8, 2019
Messages
4,049
Location
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does the day treatment include support groups
or drop in for socialising / coffee meetings ?

I very much needed to socialise
to improve on these issues
 
R

Retaw

Active member
Joined
May 10, 2019
Messages
42
Location
.
It isn't brave hun it's necessary to get over it for me. I've been at the point of clinging on to the edge of the open door literally on the verge of collapse from the intensity of the anxiety. It's brutal, horrible, scary....panic/anxiety really does take control of your entire life. There's been times like you I couldn't relax even in my own home because I wasn't comfortable in my own skin. I would just sit there, heart pounding and thoughts racing waiting for something bad to happen. Anxiety is vile and I wouldn't wish it on anyone. It does get better though as you gain control over it I promise xx
Wen you put yourself in situation you know it’s difficult I’ll call it brave. When your anxiety is that high it’s like you put yourself in a den full of lions.

Of course it’s necessary. In my case I have attempts, but for now I can’t keep it up constantly. Over the years like I said I had periods of time where I did more. I did go to shops, take the train alone and meet with friends. But everytime I had a moment like that I made the same mistakes. I’m not completely sure why. I think it’s probably the whole picture of doing things with the right mindset and the right people surrounding you. In my case also the problem is that I lack of responsibility. I don’t have job, school or anyone I need to take care of.

Tomorrow I have to open the door for mail delivery and I’m anxious for it. It’s so ridicilous.
 
R

Retaw

Active member
Joined
May 10, 2019
Messages
42
Location
.
does the day treatment include support groups
or drop in for socialising / coffee meetings ?

I very much needed to socialise
to improve on these issues
I don’t know much of it yet, but there is group therapy a lot if I’m correct. For me all of this sound so scary, but I know I need it or anyone who have social anxiety on a high level. I did normal therapy once a week for 2 years, but for me it wasn’t enough. If I can go back in time I probably had to move on faster to more intensive help.
 
Z

Zoe1

Well-known member
Joined
Jul 8, 2019
Messages
4,049
Location
Nowhere
I have at the moment actually
a therapist and a therapy group
which really helps
if you need to talk about your therapist

group therapy also can be enormous fun
and your confidence will accelerate
 
StarryKnight33

StarryKnight33

Well-known member
Joined
Nov 1, 2019
Messages
92
Location
Uk
Wen you put yourself in situation you know it’s difficult I’ll call it brave. When your anxiety is that high it’s like you put yourself in a den full of lions.

Of course it’s necessary. In my case I have attempts, but for now I can’t keep it up constantly. Over the years like I said I had periods of time where I did more. I did go to shops, take the train alone and meet with friends. But everytime I had a moment like that I made the same mistakes. I’m not completely sure why. I think it’s probably the whole picture of doing things with the right mindset and the right people surrounding you. In my case also the problem is that I lack of responsibility. I don’t have job, school or anyone I need to take care of.

Tomorrow I have to open the door for mail delivery and I’m anxious for it. It’s so ridicilous.
Attempts are good! Be proud of yourself for even trying. To be honest in the beginning of my anxiety I couldn't quite get myself out there either. In fact in the very beginning I couldn't even think about leaving the house. I remember for a month I was stuck in just two rooms even. I can't remember how exactly I got out of it the first time....I'm thinking just time and understanding of what was happening. I'm at the point now because of a lot of trial and error, perseverance, family support, and the sheer drive to not let the anxiety win. You get to a point where you're no longer afraid, just angry. The anger helped to overcome it. I had a massive breakdown two weeks ago as I stupidly went off meds but I'm back on them now and already feeling ok and back on my feet again because I've learnt the anxiety process and what works for me to get through it. You will too I promise.
 
R

Retaw

Active member
Joined
May 10, 2019
Messages
42
Location
.
I have at the moment actually
a therapist and a therapy group
which really helps
if you need to talk about your therapist

group therapy also can be enormous fun
and your confidence will accelerate
You have social anxiety right? How did the first time(s) go? I’m curious.
 
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