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Severe anxiety and depression

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Emotinium

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I’m on the bottom of life. I have not felt more terrible then now. Everyday is just horrible. I suffer from severe anxiety for some time now. 3 years ago everything began unmanageable and I lost basically everything in my life outside my house. Currently I have not been outside for a few weeks now. I feel super depressed. Even sitting on my balcony gives me stress. But also inside where I feel ‘sort of’ safe isn’t comfortable anymore. I feel like I’m losing my mind due of my current situation. My social anxiety, which is like a cause of my core problem is actually destroying everything. My core problem is that I feel very uncomfortable with myself. I’m constantly doubting everything. My thoughts are freaking me out. I feel like I have no control over them. Because of this I also feel depressed. I can’t enjoy anything anymore. I don’t live for myself anymore. And I have a constant feeling of illness and weakness all over my body.

About a couple day I have a appointment with a psychiatrist, but I honestly don’t know how I’m going to pull that off. I have not been outside for a few weeks now, but before that it was already a few months that I struggled with a single walk. I haven’t seen people besides my family in that time. My brother and mom going with me and they going to call of cab for us, because taking the bus is impossible. I feel just very hopeless and I need someone to talk to. I just don’t know how I’m going to pull this off.
 
PinkCandyFloss

PinkCandyFloss

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Feb 20, 2019
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You’ve taken the first steps in even getting an appointment and that’s awesome! I go weeks (and more) not leaving the house myself due to a mix of anxiety, depression, chronic pain, chronic fatigue and more (I have fibro) But one of the worse things is the anxiety, I have panic/anxiety attacks any time I leave the house, even if my fiancé is with me (I rarely go out without him, only if I have no choice)

I think you are doing it the right way, you are taking family with you so you are not alone and also taking a cab and not a bus! Try also taking something you can fiddle with as a distraction and way to ground yourself.
Be open to having one, or both, your family members speak to the psychiatrist with you. They’ll like want to talk to you alone and with them to get the full picture.
Be open to any meds and such they suggest, some are sucky at first but help once your body is used to them.

But just keep telling yourself how you’ve done so well in making that first, all important, and probably scary step!
We’re all here for you on here if you need us too
 
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Emotinium

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Feb 20, 2019
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I feel so stressed, nervous and uncomfortable. I feel like I’ll die tomorrow or/and something bad will happen.. It’s especially my social anxiety where I’m so afraid off and on top of that I don’t even know 100% sure if I’m on the right place. I’m afraid I won’t be able to communicate due of panic. I’m feeling stressed constantly right now.

Scary it is.. To say the least.. Last time I tried getting help went completely wrong and back then I was feeling a bit better then now.
 
PinkCandyFloss

PinkCandyFloss

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Messages
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Hopefully with your families support it can be different this time, the psych can get a good idea of your problems and needs from both you and them.
If anything doesn’t feel right after a session or two, and they don’t feel right for you it’s important to look at changing as you need someone you feel you can trust
 
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Emotinium

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I hope so, but I feel worse now then I did last time. I also got weird physical symptoms. It’s like my body tries everything to not let me get through of this. Tomorrow is D Day and I need all the luck of the world to survive this it feels like.
 
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Emotinium

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I just wanted to let you know that I survived it:) I even took a bus ride to home instead of the cab and took a long walk in the woods after the conversation. I had all these crazy scary thoughts which I believed where very possible to happen, but none of them came true. I did however had panic and anxiety, but nothing really bad happened. Usually I safe it as a bad memory if I don’t feel good when exposing, but now I’m trying to see the positive in it as well. I’m trying to be proud of myself, but I do struggle with that a bit.
 
PinkCandyFloss

PinkCandyFloss

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You should be very proud of yourself! I am 😊 Even if you did panic or have anxiety you still did it! You’re one step closer now than you were before you went which is amazing, I really hope this works out for you
 
JustMe1982

JustMe1982

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I know how that is. I have severe social anxiety along with schizoaffective disorder so I don't really feel safe anywhere. I wish I had some advice but I'm really just in the same position you are in. Hope you get well soon.
 
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Emotinium

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You should be very proud of yourself! I am 😊 Even if you did panic or have anxiety you still did it! You’re one step closer now than you were before you went which is amazing, I really hope this works out for you
Thank you! Only thingy is that I’m already looking against my next exposure, but I know I can’t sit still right now. It takes so much energy though. I hope there is a reward in the end:p

I hope you can push through your anxiety as well when you feel like it. Anxiety can effect your life so much.. And it’s totally not worth it. I know my thoughts are irrational, but it’s so hard to push it right off you.
 
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Emotinium

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I know how that is. I have severe social anxiety along with schizoaffective disorder so I don't really feel safe anywhere. I wish I had some advice but I'm really just in the same position you are in. Hope you get well soon.
I understand. That combination must be difficult. I hope you can find a solution for you. I think it’s different for everyone, but we still can learn from each other. I wish you all the luck!
 
JustMe1982

JustMe1982

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I understand. That combination must be difficult. I hope you can find a solution for you. I think it’s different for everyone, but we still can learn from each other. I wish you all the luck!
Thanks, yeah I think everyone here has it pretty rough. I am learning from other people here already though and am grateful for that. Hopefully people can learn from me too.
 
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