Self social isolation.

[Hopelessdepressedandpinkfloydlover]

Hi, everyone who's reading this post.
I have mentioned this before, I self isolated myself from all human contact as posible.
Deleted all social networking accounts and haven't gone back at any of them.
I have a weird thing where I have a strong feeling some day that I should talk to someone, make friends, maybe even try a relationship, of course my head says that when I'm not on a strong depressed day. However, I can't keep contact or keep a chat with someone and sometimes I just stop replying.
So, trying and failing makes me not think about it for a while, but maybe a few months later i find myself trying again.
I know is a bad thing to not have friends.
I know is a bad thing for a depressed person to not be open with people of their feelings. But I try.
Not everyone understands how deeply I'm into this and at the same time when they think they do, they don't either belive or understand the level of effort I put into making me stay alive.
I have found support here on the forum and I really appreciate it. It has been helpful for me.
And at the same time, makes me feel way too alone. Just refreshing the page hoping to see someone making a conversation with me, and i believe that's pretty bad.

 

[Zackthemaniac]

Thats good thing about being member of the forum. You can pop in when your feeling good, get support when you dont. Plenty of people to connect with. Its important to have some kind of interaction. Complete isolation doesnt help your mental health.

 

[ManDss]

I did the same time ago.

Kinda regreat about some things.

But at the time I wasnt good handdleling social situations.

Its ok to take distance for a while. But things can get really alone. Dont know why you are taking distance from people. The downside if u can end up 100% alone and with no chances to meet new people. So... be thoughtful about this.

 

[Talula67]

Hi, everyone who's reading this post.
I have mentioned this before, I self isolated myself from all human contact as posible.
Deleted all social networking accounts and haven't gone back at any of them.
I have a weird thing where I have a strong feeling some day that I should talk to someone, make friends, maybe even try a relationship, of course my head says that when I'm not on a strong depressed day. However, I can't keep contact or keep a chat with someone and sometimes I just stop replying.
So, trying and failing makes me not think about it for a while, but maybe a few months later i find myself trying again.
I know is a bad thing to not have friends.
I know is a bad thing for a depressed person to not be open with people of their feelings. But I try.
Not everyone understands how deeply I'm into this and at the same time when they think they do, they don't either belive or understand the level of effort I put into making me stay alive.
I have found support here on the forum and I really appreciate it. It has been helpful for me.
And at the same time, makes me feel way too alone. Just refreshing the page hoping to see someone making a conversation with me, and i believe that's pretty bad.

I totally get what you are saying, I can relate so much to it ...

 

[matt42069]

Hi, everyone who's reading this post.
I have mentioned this before, I self isolated myself from all human contact as posible.
Deleted all social networking accounts and haven't gone back at any of them.
I have a weird thing where I have a strong feeling some day that I should talk to someone, make friends, maybe even try a relationship, of course my head says that when I'm not on a strong depressed day. However, I can't keep contact or keep a chat with someone and sometimes I just stop replying.
So, trying and failing makes me not think about it for a while, but maybe a few months later i find myself trying again.
I know is a bad thing to not have friends.
I know is a bad thing for a depressed person to not be open with people of their feelings. But I try.
Not everyone understands how deeply I'm into this and at the same time when they think they do, they don't either belive or understand the level of effort I put into making me stay alive.
I have found support here on the forum and I really appreciate it. It has been helpful for me.
And at the same time, makes me feel way too alone. Just refreshing the page hoping to see someone making a conversation with me, and i believe that's pretty bad.

Same , i just graduated but im afraid to go even get a job cause ive been socially isolated for so long not talking about interracting with people .

 

[Hopelessdepressedandpinkfloydlover]

Same , i just graduated but im afraid to go even get a job cause ive been socially isolated for so long not talking about interracting with people .

I feel you, i fell like i ruin every oportunity to meet people. Furtunetly i have a job and i have mantenied it for a few months now. Hope to keep it long enough to get out of debt

 

[Hopelessdepressedandpinkfloydlover]

Thats good thing about being member of the forum. You can pop in when your feeling good, get support when you dont. Plenty of people to connect with. Its important to have some kind of interaction. Complete isolation doesnt help your mental health.

thanks Zack, i know its bad for my mentl health to be isoleted, but how can i help it, i kinda scare people away

 

[Hopelessdepressedandpinkfloydlover]

I totally get what you are saying, I can relate so much to it ...

Its always kinda good to know im not the only one with the feelings and problems i have, and at the same time is sad to know there are more people suffering the same or worse than me.
World is weird and unfair

 

[Hopelessdepressedandpinkfloydlover]

I did the same time ago.

Kinda regreat about some things.

But at the time I wasnt good handdleling social situations.

Its ok to take distance for a while. But things can get really alone. Dont know why you are taking distance from people. The downside if u can end up 100% alone and with no chances to meet new people. So... be thoughtful about this.

I dont think chanses are going to just be gone, but i do think i'll run out of desire to try.

 

[TheRealMe]

I feel like I understand where you are coming from, and like no one understands all the same. Isolation is all that seems to come naturally to me, but I hate it. From time to time I put in an effort to be social, and it is the most isolating feeling of all. Most social interactions don't feel real to me because they're not. They are calculated. I force myself to say happy birthday to people on Facebook so that they know I exist, and they feel I know they exist, but thats all it is. On a good day, I can be honest with myself. I know when I can be honest with others, it helps to connect with them. The feeling of connecting with someone is very rare for me, but it is worth the effort. If only 1 out of 100 attempts work, it is worth all the effort, and is the only way to not feel alone. Your post is hopefully helpful to you, but know that it is helpful to others who struggle with the same things. Not everyone will reach back to you, but that doesn't mean you didn't reach them. It is a big step in the right direction. We may make a few steps in the wrong direction in between, but come back to it.

 

[Hopelessdepressedandpinkfloydlover]

I feel like I understand where you are coming from, and like no one understands all the same. Isolation is all that seems to come naturally to me, but I hate it. From time to time I put in an effort to be social, and it is the most isolating feeling of all. Most social interactions don't feel real to me because they're not. They are calculated. I force myself to say happy birthday to people on Facebook so that they know I exist, and they feel I know they exist, but thats all it is. On a good day, I can be honest with myself. I know when I can be honest with others, it helps to connect with them. The feeling of connecting with someone is very rare for me, but it is worth the effort. If only 1 out of 100 attempts work, it is worth all the effort, and is the only way to not feel alone. Your post is hopefully helpful to you, but know that it is helpful to others who struggle with the same things. Not everyone will reach back to you, but that doesn't mean you didn't reach them. It is a big step in the right direction. We may make a few steps in the wrong direction in between, but come back to it.

Not everyone understands exactly the kinda effort it actually is to reach someone and get depressed by the reply you got from them. Makes me even more isolated. I didn't think of people getting some sort of benefit over my post, I try a lot to put myself to write in my very worse moments so I can go back when I'm better and see how was I thinking and acting in that moment.

 

[TheRealMe]

Not everyone understands exactly the kinda effort it actually is to reach someone and get depressed by the reply you got from them. Makes me even more isolated. I didn't think of people getting some sort of benefit over my post, I try a lot to put myself to write in my very worse moments so I can go back when I'm better and see how was I thinking and acting in that moment.

This has been my first real attempt at trying to find people with similar issues as me. I get anxious as can be. Ive never really been able to openly talk about my problems with people before, and I think the internet being somewhat anonymous helps a little, but its still a shield I get to hide behind. Your issues aren't small ones, and neither are mine. Its definitely made me feel small trying to explain them to people in the real world. And the simple answers never help. I began to journal when I can. It does help, band like you I get to go back and see where I was at the times I wrote them. Sometimes it helps, and sometimes I'm ashamed of myself for having ever thought the things I've thought. Most of the time it is hard to keep focused on getting better mentally. Ive wasted most of my life doing nothing about it. Of course it got me nowhere. Thats my one thing that helps me stay on track for as long as possible, knowing that what comes naturally to me doesn't work and I need to do things different. I dont think right, but I know I can.

 

[Hopelessdepressedandpinkfloydlover]

This has been my first real attempt at trying to find people with similar issues as me. I get anxious as can be. Ive never really been able to openly talk about my problems with people before, and I think the internet being somewhat anonymous helps a little, but its still a shield I get to hide behind. Your issues aren't small ones, and neither are mine. Its definitely made me feel small trying to explain them to people in the real world. And the simple answers never help. I began to journal when I can. It does help, band like you I get to go back and see where I was at the times I wrote them. Sometimes it helps, and sometimes I'm ashamed of myself for having ever thought the things I've thought. Most of the time it is hard to keep focused on getting better mentally. Ive wasted most of my life doing nothing about it. Of course it got me nowhere. Thats my one thing that helps me stay on track for as long as possible, knowing that what comes naturally to me doesn't work and I need to do things different. I dont think right, but I know I can.

I like the way you are taking the situations, i slme ways i feel like you do the same type of effort as I do, experimenting what works and what not.
I have tried opening muself to people that used to be arround me and got me alone.
Here, as i have said before, got me help and a hit of the reality of my actual loneliness in my real life.
I try to help it but can't do it propper.
I have tried messaging people here and got no response. But, i do kinda open a new discussion in my mind when i get depressed, trying to figure out what triggered the depression episode.

 

[TheRealMe]

I think I was in denial about being depressed at all. The very very moment I thought it to be true I was able to make sense of so much of my life. Ive never excelled at much, and never really tried. Ive been waiting around for life to happen. Oddly enough, I thought I was good at handling stress, but the truth is I just stopped feeling it. I was maxed out, terrible news would hardly even phase me. I stopped feeling all together for the most part. For most of my life I thought it was normal. But I never wanted to be great, I just wanted to blend in, not be pointed out, and just get through. Ive carried this mentality with me into adulthood. Social situations make me anxious, I dont look to enjoy them, just want to get through them. Ive always had very few friends, but the ones that were close to me were really the only people I was comfortable around. Most are gone now, and I've developed very little skill or desire to make new friends. I dont want to fake life anymore, and I know I am only interested in making friends that I can be myself around, anything else is just anxiety, and I need no more of that. Do you feel you've been depressed for a long time? does it come and go, or do you feel like it's become a big part of who you are?

 

[Beorn the Bear]

I hear you. Personally I feel there's something disconnected or missing inside me when it comes to being social. I get incredibly lonely, I want friends. But on those occasions when I have been out I feel I have to put on an act at being social. I find it extremely draining.
People seem to like me, I often get invites to social stuff and I don't have anything against those people who ask me out. I just.. I dunno.. feel broken in a social sense and I don't know how to fix it.
I hope you find some answers and find some happiness.