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Self-Loathing

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bonobo

Well-known member
Joined
Jan 9, 2015
Messages
131
I feel so utterly consumed by self-loathing; I feel it radiating from every pour.

Has anyone got any advice regarding how to 'forgive' ourselves & begin to move on from the past?
 
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lovagemuffin

Well-known member
Joined
Oct 21, 2014
Messages
640
whatever you've done in the past its the past and you can change yourself.
don't be too hard on yourself try to be nice to yourself easier said than done I know.
 
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Rose19602

Guest
Regrets? Hmmm....we all have them.....some worse than others.

Time is the best healer.....regrets feel better the further away they become and once you stop dwelling on them and beating yourself up, they gain perspective a bit. I've beaten myself up over things I've done and been in your position. In the end something else replaced the self - flagellation and I forgot about it for a while. Re-visiting it now, it feels regrettable and I still cringe.

Once you acknowledge the wrong, make amends as best you can and accept any responsibilities that come with that wrong and "own it" ....you have done everything possible.

I think then you have to put it aside and move on, or you will be unwell, sad and living in the past for ever.

Obviously it helps if you make serious attempts to change where applicable.
 
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Rose19602

Guest
That's if it's possible bonobo.....sometimes you are what you are and mistakes are made.

Own them and move on.

x
 
SomersetScorpio

SomersetScorpio

Well-known member
Joined
Aug 17, 2012
Messages
13,531
Location
The West Country
Do you think those things that require you to forgive yourself are genuinely 'bad', or do you think this self-loathing makes you look back at be an even harsher critic of yourself?

We all make mistakes. I've done shitty things that I regret. I've also done things which others probably didn't even notice, but because i'm so hard on myself i've previously looked back and thought badly of myself for doing them.

I suppose what helped me is imagining someone I really care about doing the things i've done, and how i'd react. I would never want to make someone feel guilty and i'd be very forgiving.
And so then turning that kind of compassion inwards and treating yourself as you would a loved one can go a long way in making you feel better.
Or imagine your 'inner child' and having nurturing thoughts towards yourself.
 
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bonobo

Well-known member
Joined
Jan 9, 2015
Messages
131
Do you think those things that require you to forgive yourself are genuinely 'bad', or do you think this self-loathing makes you look back at be an even harsher critic of yourself?

We all make mistakes. I've done shitty things that I regret. I've also done things which others probably didn't even notice, but because i'm so hard on myself i've previously looked back and thought badly of myself for doing them.

I suppose what helped me is imagining someone I really care about doing the things i've done, and how i'd react. I would never want to make someone feel guilty and i'd be very forgiving.
And so then turning that kind of compassion inwards and treating yourself as you would a loved one can go a long way in making you feel better.
Or imagine your 'inner child' and having nurturing thoughts towards yourself.
Yes, some of them are genuinely bad. I'm just not sure how to handle them in my head now and then try to act differently in the future.
 
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cherbear

Guest
As others have already said we all mistakes in life . If it's a genuine wrong you can right work towards fixing it . Move on and forgive yourself . Also learn to gain some perspective . There are plenty of things I beat myself up over the majority of them are things I perceive as bad but when I mention it to another they say i'm worrying over nothing and there was no offense in the first place . So resolve the things you can but learn to love yourself hunny xxx
 
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