• Share. Be Supported. Recover.

    We are a friendly, safe community supporting each other's mental health. We are open 24 hours a day, 365 days a year.

Self Image



Just when I thought I was starting to forget the comments made by my ex boyfriend about certain TV women, I only picked up the newspaper to see the La senza model on the front of the paper! Deep down I know I am being silly but I wish I could stop beating myself up with stupid thoughts about looks and body image. I know half the time he was joking with me and did not understand my illness so therefore did not realise how much he was effecting me and even though he complimented me the damage was already done.


I have fought with my body image all my life (anorectic until my early 30's) and I'm now 50. My last partner would tell me he like big women and then would refuse to sleep with me because I'd got big. So when I became single again 2 years ago I never thought I'd meet anyone. I have lost some weight but still have the lumps and bumps that seem to go with someone a little overweight.

I started dating again last year and I am astounded at how the men I've dated regularly tell me I have a gorgeous figure. I have something to get hold of, I'm not a bag of bones, I'm wonderful to cuddle up to.

Most men want that, it's the advertisers that want stick insects.


Apr 21, 2009
Definitely! Advertising has a lot to answer for, and it's sad because it doesn't even reflect what real guys want! The problem is, if you try to be something that you're not, then you'll attract people who like the image, not the real you. That's not to say you shouldn't be healthy and look after yourself, but it's natural for women to have a few curves, not be skin and bones!

I've been in a situation where what I thought I wanted was someone "typically" beautiful, and broke up with my girlfriend at the time because of it. I then realised I was a damn fool, and realised that you can still be attracted to someone who isn't a pinup model. Luckily we got back together, but it was a hard lesson to learn. I will never forget it though, so maybe take it easy on your ex. Sometimes the advertising is just as detrimental to guys who believe that beauty is a certain "image" or "look", and deep down they know it's not really the case.
Similar threads
Thread starter Title Forum Replies Date
Hardknocks88 Chad America envy (low self-esteem heart to heart talk). Depression Forum 4
C Self sabotage? Depression Forum 5
K Dissociation or just self doubt? Depression Forum 3
W i can’t stop self sabotaging Depression Forum 6
A Celebrity obsession and low self esteem Depression Forum 2
Signofthetimes Self Help Depression Forum 3
S Anger and self hatred Depression Forum 11
apple2003 idk what to label this as but tw for suicide and self harm Depression Forum 5
H Self social isolation. Depression Forum 18
Tawny Types of self care Depression Forum 24
kimmykat Self discipline tips? Depression Forum 9
misunderstood256 Failing and Self-Hatred Depression Forum 5
D I'm not sure if I'm suicidal or if I'm just being self destructive Depression Forum 4
OCDguy Depression and low self-esteem Depression Forum 9
S besides self talk what actually reduced your severe depression or anxiety? Depression Forum 17
S Anxiety, Depression, Self-Esteem? Depression Forum 7
S Should I prioritize much needed self-care above reuniting with the guy I feel most deeply for? Depression Forum 5
wollie What can you do for your self Depression Forum 4
I I’ve relapsed into self harm and drug abuse Depression Forum 6
E Low self worth today. Depression Forum 6
JustinS1998 Low Self-Esteem Depression Forum 9
J Severe depression and self hatred Depression Forum 2
B Self hatred Depression Forum 26
S Self-Doubt Within Self-Help Depression Forum 1
wollie What can I do to boost my self esteem Depression Forum 9
Talina How do you boost your self view? Depression Forum 9
Y Self confidence has destroyed dating life? Depression Forum 2
AdamP72 Shameless self-promotion: my music thread Depression Forum 5
M Why do I get marks all over part of my body following self harm? Depression Forum 1
A Self-defeating behavioral patterns in reaction to long-term depression Depression Forum 3
B Depression and Loneliness YouTube Self Help Video Feel Good Again Depression Forum 2
B Self Destructive Behaviour Depression Forum 1
C What’s a good alternative to self harm? Depression Forum 4
C Lack of self esteem, poor impulse control or self punishment? Depression Forum 14
M Disregard of self-care Depression Forum 8
S Self help for depression: what are your experiences? Depression Forum 9
stability issues about depression,anger,anxiety,low self esteem etc... Depression Forum 5
Soul_Deeps I'd like there to be anything else than self loathing. Depression Forum 3
PurpleDaffodils Overthinking Creating Self-Loathing Depression Forum 4
G Substitutions to self-harming? Depression Forum 3
M Self harm Depression Forum 9
A Can’t beat the urge to self harm Depression Forum 3
K First post here - Low self esteem causing depressive thoughts Depression Forum 2
J Low Self Confidence Depression Forum 5
Foxjo Husbands porn addiction ruining my self esteem Depression Forum 13
I Career and self esteem Depression Forum 3
T ex-girl has low-self esteem depression Depression Forum 6
B Self Care and Self Realization Depression Forum 2
H Concerns about self harm Depression Forum 1
L Is this depression or personality disorder or something else low self esteem, strange self worth, feel fake etc... Depression Forum 2

Similar threads