• Welcome! It’s great to see you.

    If you'd like to talk with people who know what it's like

    Our forum members are people, maybe like yourself, who experience mental health difficulties or who have had them at some point in their life.

Self Help

Signofthetimes

Signofthetimes

Well-known member
Joined
Mar 1, 2021
Messages
448
Location
California
Friday I have a therapy appointment. It will be my first in over 15 years. Things have been complicated lately. My mind and soul have been a cluttered mess. I have the best son in the world and the most amazing husband. My mom is ill and I have been caring for her. There is a history of love and abuse there. It's hard watching her slowly fade away and in the process I am crushed. I miss my dad. He was the calm stable guide. Such a love. I have suicidal thoughts but I have always just thought of them as thoughts. After all I am a mom, a wife, a teacher... My cousin and one of my best most admirable friends left us in December 2017. She and I would have heart to heart talks. She was going through a lot, but she had a sparkle and was such a role mode, only 5 years older than me. She was a mom. I felt torn but I felt angry at family who said things like the one who took her own life. That silenced me in anger, those comments of judgement. In some perhaps insane moments I felt peace or bravery for her. Still I want her here. I miss her. But, I understand and that is scary. I wish I could have been there more. I wish I were there. I was helping her help her son, and I didn't realize her danger. We think thoughts but we wont do them. That was my thinking. It stopped me in my tracks of the danger of my own thoughts. How could someone so beautiful, so amazing, so strong do this. I don't have answers but I miss her and more importantly I understand. I also understand that I need to be careful. This has felt like a crushing year. I want to be here for my life, for my son, for me. I don't have any bad plans. Today as I write this I feel like a fraud. I am feeling nothing. I feel distant from me. I love my husband and my son. I love my family. I love life. I don't even know how to explain me to a therapist but I do know that I want help and I want to be able to feel well. Yes, there are lots of things that are happening now that can crush my spirit, but even when things are ok sometimes I don't feel ok. There is a line in a song that I understand fully, " You look really good down here, but you're not really good". It's simple but it says it. I want to be good.
 
T

treasurebox

Well-known member
Joined
Aug 14, 2018
Messages
493
Location
Philippines
Music therapy is good. Listen to good, motivational and uplifting songs on youtube. It really helps to think and feel good and empowered.
 
Signofthetimes

Signofthetimes

Well-known member
Joined
Mar 1, 2021
Messages
448
Location
California
Thank you. I love listening to music. :)
 
Similar threads
Thread starter Title Forum Replies Date
S Self-Doubt Within Self-Help Depression Forum 1
S Anger and self hatred Depression Forum 11
apple2003 idk what to label this as but tw for suicide and self harm Depression Forum 5
H Self social isolation. Depression Forum 18
Tawny Types of self care Depression Forum 24
kimmykat Self discipline tips? Depression Forum 9
misunderstood256 Failing and Self-Hatred Depression Forum 5
D I'm not sure if I'm suicidal or if I'm just being self destructive Depression Forum 4
OCDguy Depression and low self-esteem Depression Forum 9
S besides self talk what actually reduced your severe depression or anxiety? Depression Forum 17
S Anxiety, Depression, Self-Esteem? Depression Forum 7
S Should I prioritize much needed self-care above reuniting with the guy I feel most deeply for? Depression Forum 5
wollie What can you do for your self Depression Forum 4
I I’ve relapsed into self harm and drug abuse Depression Forum 6
E Low self worth today. Depression Forum 6
JustinS1998 Low Self-Esteem Depression Forum 9
J Severe depression and self hatred Depression Forum 2
B Self hatred Depression Forum 26
wollie What can I do to boost my self esteem Depression Forum 9
Talina How do you boost your self view? Depression Forum 9
Y Self confidence has destroyed dating life? Depression Forum 2
J [GUIDE] A guide to help cure your depression. Depression Forum 11
J Help me Depression Forum 15
F Need opinions, ideas, anything to help. Depression Forum 7
Bezerker I need help and don't know where to post Depression Forum 10
JustinS1998 Getting Help (Except Therapy) Depression Forum 8
Y Help Please Depression Forum 5
M 11 years of depression improperly treated by incompetents. 3 suicide attempts. PLEASE HELP!!! Depression Forum 6
I Help Depression Forum 1
S I don't know what is wrong with me! Help! Depression Forum 8
J help , advise please Depression Forum 6
C Unmotivated to seek help Depression Forum 10
S Help! My partners depression effect our family Depression Forum 6
J HELP! Had my first therapy session today. Don't know if I should continue further. Depression Forum 13
G Just need a bit of help? Depression Forum 24
W Almost at the end.... Help needed Depression Forum 10
G I need help ‘May be triggering’ Depression Forum 5
J Need some help I'm feeling very depressed the moment and just do not feel good Depression Forum 4
B I’m new: should I seek help?!! pls help me Depression Forum 5
H At a loss - Not sure what else to try to help depression Depression Forum 6
B I want to help him Depression Forum 1
G Help. Please... Depression Forum 9
W I need help! Depression Forum 5
A Depressed and getting no help from doctors Depression Forum 2
R i need to get help for the sake of my family... Depression Forum 4
S I need help but I can't get help Depression Forum 20
J Need life help, my story. (sorry) Depression Forum 7
N Depression and or eating disorder. How do I begin to get help? Depression Forum 13
M Help Depression Forum 7
Ladyfair NEED HELP SOMEONE PLEASE Depression Forum 8

Similar threads

Top