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Self harming.

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Nina24

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Joined
Oct 21, 2020
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UK
I had a breakdown 2 yrs ago, after being triggered at work, bringing back childhood sexual abuse and rape. I'd always known about them but minimised so much in my head and not dealt with it.
I've been having CBT and trauma therapy, divulged most things, but not this as I'm too ashamed.
I've always had problems being unable to stop self harming. I've read the NHS link, thanks for posting.
Since being triggered though, I've self harmed pretty badly. At times I've caught sight from behind and it looks awful.
I don't fully understand why, probably to make myself unattractive, so my husband won't want me. But now I'm finding it difficult to stop.
Is this normal, anyone else harm here?
 
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Bod

Former member
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Jul 19, 2021
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Hi Nina24, I stopped self harming 20 yrs ago as it very nearly cost me my life so I got all the help I needed to find out why I self harmed. I had to go through therapy to sort it out and now I look at my self and think there are other ways ,but you have to get the help to stop.
 
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welferus

Member
Joined
Sep 24, 2021
Messages
23
Location
Netherlands
Hi, I self harm too. I am getting more and more extreme at it. I would not say its normal to self harm but I can understand it.
I do want to think that your husband loves you and that he loves you no matter what. But I would wish for you that you could find other ways of coping. And like Bod said get the help to stop.
 
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Bod

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Hi, I self harm too. I am getting more and more extreme at it. I would not say its normal to self harm but I can understand it.
I do want to think that your husband loves you and that he loves you no matter what. But I would wish for you that you could find other ways of coping. And like Bod said get the help to stop.


Hi welferus, Have you got a GP or doctor that you might be able to talk to ?
With you saying that your self harming has gone a lot more extreme is now the time to try and stop it as at the end of the day it is not worth hurting your self. You might have to even see a therapist to try and pin point WHY you started to self harm in the first place and then slowly sort those issues out.
 
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welferus

Member
Joined
Sep 24, 2021
Messages
23
Location
Netherlands
Hi welferus, Have you got a GP or doctor that you might be able to talk to ?
With you saying that your self harming has gone a lot more extreme is now the time to try and stop it as at the end of the day it is not worth hurting your self. You might have to even see a therapist to try and pin point WHY you started to self harm in the first place and then slowly sort those issues out.
Thanks for the reply. I do have a mental health team and we are working on things but I am being transfered to another treatment so at the moment we are not doing much. I do know why I self harm and it does need to stop. But its not working right now.
 
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Bod

Former member
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With us when we self harm it is a split second we do it in, so we have to be even quicker to stop acting it out so suddenly we go and open and close the front door or we get out for a walk or even what I use to do was stick a pickled onion in my mouth and chew it. As long as we can stop and break that cycle of acting then great but it has to be done very quickly.
 
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welferus

Member
Joined
Sep 24, 2021
Messages
23
Location
Netherlands
For me I plan it all out. I buy the supplies and make sure its all ready. Ready for when I need punishment. Thats 9 out of 10 times if I develop feelings for a girl or when I feel rejected or unwanted. I am then very methodical as it needs to be done perfectly :(
 
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Bod

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Next time you go to buy the supplies, buy something totally different like some fruit or a fizzy drink as if you plan it then that gives you a bigger chance of stopping it and do something else.
 
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welferus

Member
Joined
Sep 24, 2021
Messages
23
Location
Netherlands
Next time you go to buy the supplies, buy something totally different like some fruit or a fizzy drink as if you plan it then that gives you a bigger chance of stopping it and do something else.
Thats a good idea. I will try that for sure!
 
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Bod

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I really hope you can managed to do it, even if your at the counter to pay for the supplies just quickly change and get what I said.
 
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welferus

Member
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Sep 24, 2021
Messages
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Location
Netherlands
I will try for sure. Its only sad that I have so much at home right now. But I will be ok.
 
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Bod

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You do NOT need any punishment.
You need to throw them away.
 
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welferus

Member
Joined
Sep 24, 2021
Messages
23
Location
Netherlands
Thanks, but you don't know what a bad person I have been. I cause pain everywhere I go. I have even hurt people here before I know it.
But I am sorry for "stealing" Nina's post thats not nice. I won't do it anymore. Thanks Bod for your kindness <3
 
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