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Self harming again

C

cloudwatcher

Member
Joined
Aug 14, 2019
Messages
9
Location
North Carolina
Does it ever feel like your brain is just fucking with you? Most days I feel completely worthless. I think about killing myself, and self harming, and self harm instead of doing anything worse. And then all of the sudden there are these days where I feel good. I don't want to hurt myself, I'm full of energy, I feel competent, and like I have value, and all the other good things. But I know it won't last, and when it goes away its harder than ever.

I'm in when of those bad times right now.
 
frisas45

frisas45

Well-known member
Joined
Mar 22, 2019
Messages
292
Location
South Korea
I don't wanna judge, but from my experience, I think you have bipolar disorder. I have one, so I understand. I get that shit. When I'm down, I feel like I want to kill myself, and feel nothing of it when I feel good. Thankfully, I take Lithium, and this gets reduced. I think you should go to a doctor and tell him/her what's wrong.
 
C

cloudwatcher

Member
Joined
Aug 14, 2019
Messages
9
Location
North Carolina
I know it sounds dumb but right now it feels hard to get help. I just moved to a new state, and was trying to start therapy beforehand, but now it feels like starting over. I don't know what to do, and I hope I can get better, but it doesn't feel likely.
 
frisas45

frisas45

Well-known member
Joined
Mar 22, 2019
Messages
292
Location
South Korea
I know it sounds dumb but right now it feels hard to get help. I just moved to a new state, and was trying to start therapy beforehand, but now it feels like starting over. I don't know what to do, and I hope I can get better, but it doesn't feel likely.
I think there are therapists in North Carolina who can suggest you some best doctors. If you have insurance, you can ask your company about the best doctors. They might help.
 
Fairy Lucretia

Fairy Lucretia

Well-known member
Forum Guide
Joined
Apr 9, 2011
Messages
34,834
Location
Magical fairy wonderland xxxx
sending love x you deserve to feel good about yourself
please lean on the forum for support
love Lu xxx
 
C

cloudwatcher

Member
Joined
Aug 14, 2019
Messages
9
Location
North Carolina
I don't feel like I deserve to feel good about myself. Having trouble finding good things about myself, and feel unreasonable stressed and anxious about everything.
 
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