Self harmed

[Jlttomo]

Self harmed again tonight. It's the only way I can't deal with the emotional pain. I want to die but I don't want it to be painful

 

[bpd2020]

I am so sorry you are in so much pain. Would it help to talk about how you are feeling?

 

[Jlttomo]

I'm not sure. I just want to be with my partner but there's always something to stop it. I've felt so down my whole life. I just want it to end.

 

[bpd2020]

It must be really difficult if you cannot be with your partner. I can understand why that would make you feel upset. Have you ever had any therapy to help with you feeling so low?

 

[Jlttomo]

Yes I've tried therapy most my life. The last one he discharged me after 4 sessions cuz I didn't make any progress, I feel so low.. last time I felt this low I tried to kill my self but chickened out. I really do just want to die....

 

[bpd2020]

It is terrible you were discharged after four sessions! Was this therapy on the NHS? I think you should report him. It sounds like you have been really unlucky with therapists. The right one can make so much difference and be a huge help. I understand you wanting to die as you want your pain to go away. I do not want you to die and I am sure your partner does not either. It is possible to get the right support for feeling depressed.

 

[Jlttomo]

I really don't see anything helping me anymore

 

[bpd2020]

Can you tell me what you have tried?

 

[Jlttomo]

Trent PTS, behavioural therapy to try think things more differently. More of the same throughout the years. Nothing has ever worked. I feel lost . And I do just want to die. The world would be better off

 

[bpd2020]

I believe that sometimes we need a lot of therapy before it starts to work and sometimes you may not be in the right frame of mind for it. I would try therapy again. Maybe cognitive analtical therapy would be more beneficial for you. I am so sorry you feel loss and want to die. I do not want you to die.

 

[Jlttomo]

I think I need to. I can't cope

 

[bpd2020]

Are you under the care of the mental health team? It sounds like you could do with some more support.

 

[Jlttomo]

No I don't think I've ever been, apart from the therapist

 

[bpd2020]

I am surprised your doctor has not suggested it. I am no expert but you sound very depressed right now and I think an antidepressant may be able to help you. I cannot function without antidepressants. They can really take the edge of the low feeling. Is it something you would try?

 

[Jlttomo]

I'm on fluxoxitines at the moment. Been on anti depressants most my life. Another thing that doesn't seem to work for me