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Self harmed for the first time in years

  • Thread starter manicpixiedreamgirl
  • Start date


Apr 8, 2020
I feel so so ashamed... I am writing here because I can't really tell anyone. My partner is having a rough time and I don't want to make him feel even worse.
In the past I have self harmed really few times and it was years ago. I never want anyone to know I self harm so I do other forms of SH that aren't obvious to other people.
Lately though I have had such a strong urge to do it. And I did... For some reason I feel calmer? But at the same time extremely tired and ashamed.


Taking a break
Apr 4, 2020
Please don't feel ashamed, you have a mental illness and a compulsion which affects you, can't always control it.

Feeling calmer is good but you shouldn't have to self-harm to feel that way.


Well-known member
Oct 16, 2019
North Carolina
You feel calmer cause the act release built up emotion. But this is not a habit you want to fall back into. You need to talk or use other coping skills.


Well-known member
Aug 25, 2011
Are you seeing a therapist at the moment?


Well-known member
Apr 6, 2020
England, uk
You need to forgive yourself (i know that's much easier said than done) you're struggling at the minute, and that's okay. Feeling ashamed can often lead to a vicious cycle of more SH.
SH has a physical reaction, you're body releases endorphins which is why you feel calmer - but you need to try other coping strategies, and find one that works for you.
I used to struggle with this but if I ever feel that compulsion I have a piece of wood that I scratch/carve into, or you could try tearing paper of scribbling on paper?


Well-known member
Jul 7, 2020
Lately though I have had such a strong urge to do it. And I did... For some reason I feel calmer? But at the same time extremely tired and ashamed.
Self harm is not the answer. Find a way of conquering your issues. Try talking to your partner about it, and work things out together, find each other help. You need to do things for yourself too, try therapy.
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