self harm vs shame to be seen with the self harmer

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jason

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#1
intreaging title i no

stick with this im doing the beging ramble so i dont feel bad if it go's wrong in anyway for anyone

this exsperament may not be for all those who think there (who ever they are planning on trying this with ) will react badly or be angry sholdent try this but its all down to self jugdement

ok this is to show the person how it feels to have shame and exsperence stigma and also for you to see who they feel being with you and seeing your scares

1) draw (best with a lip linner or make up of some sort) scares on th persons arm as realistick as posible tell them for every cut to think of something bad in there life past or present

2)cover your own scares

3)go into a public place with the persons scares showing at all timespa attention to every thing that is being said (if anything is) count them up and add a scare for each one in a restroom (or wherever) rember what the originel scares where there for

4) go to sleep with the scares and wake up you will no what it feels like every day for that person and when you wash the scares of think that th actual self harmer carnt do that

for the self harmer

the same but think of how you felt when thoses people where sayng all thoses things and really think about it this will be diffrent for all naturaly

you can also do this for vocie hearing ill post that one in the hearing vocies bit and im sure you cuold think of more if you tryed

and incase anyone is wondering i have done this but at a lesser level but its optional if you dicide to change it to what fits you
 
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Magic_Bullet

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#2
Over all, I never feel it because mine are always properly covered. I think the more interesting question is what kind of stuff people have said.

I have gotten dirty looks on my "left arm tanning" sprees, trying to even out the skin tone... but never any comments.... but I've never done it with open wounds... only scars.

Thing is, the scars are all on the top of the arm because when my high school checked me, they would check the underside and if I grabbed the other side of my forearm with my right hand, they wouldn't see the marks when they checked me.

The HUGE disadvantage to this is that it makes my scars 10,000 times more visible and obvious. I would not suggest that to anyone who cares about scarring.

Over all, I don't. I have this guy in my life who keeps trying to pressure me to use this stuff he has to smooth away scars. I find it offensive. They are a part of me and I love them. Just because he thinks he's going to get me into bed (no idea why. I told him I don't do that) doesn't give him any right to try to dictate what I look like. I adore my arm.
 
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jason

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#3
i agree in hospital i was told to hide my scares it was a rle everyone had to do but broke like most of the others i wouldent say i like my scares but there just going to be there for ever and should get use to them and i dont always hide them because sholdent have to(if someone else gave me my scares then i wouldent have to and no one would say anything)
 
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rusaved

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#4
If someone else gave you scars, they would still say something, be shocked etc.

Just wondering, by you not caring if people see your scars, is that a way of you bringing it to their attention, in the hope somebody might come up with some kind of solution or help for you?
Like a 'cry for help' ?

It must be very confusing and frustrating for you trying to understand why you do this to yourself.

It could be due to some past trauma, abuse, extemely bad experience, or self - hate, things like that.
Trying to find ways to cope with life.

Other than the hospital, and here, are you getting any kind of counselling?
seeking solutions ?

There are solutions out there.
Hoping you are over the worst, and are letting yourself heal.
Be kind to yourself, patient while you work through everything.
 
samuel-oc235

samuel-oc235

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#5
i dont care what people say if they see my scars or cuts
im not ashamed of who i am or what i do.
 
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jason

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#6
its more for me showing im not ashamed usaly when i do go ot subcontusly cover them bit sometimes i see a t shirt id like to where without something over it or a pair of shorts and think why should i cover them its my skin

and to the why ? its all four
 
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samuel-oc235

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#7
im like you i see a polo shirt i like and think should i put a long sleeve under it then i think bugger it
 
Magic_Bullet

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#8
That's my reasoning as well. It is part of who I am. I am not ashamed of it. I do, however, hide cuts because there are certain people who I know and love dearly who I know would be bothered by them and I don't want to hurt them.

If I'm in public in a place where I won't see anyone I know (family, mostly) I don't hide them.... but I'm so used to wearing an armwarmer that I feel naked without them... not because of the cuts, just because I'm a total creature of habit.
 
shaky

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#9
i dont care what people say if they see my scars or cuts
im not ashamed of who i am or what i do.
Thanks for that statement. You are so right.
People are always trying to tell me what I should wear and not to do what I want to do. (I'm 47 god-damn years old)

I'm enjoying this thread. I thought I was the only one who liked my scars. Mind you I hardly have any. The docs have drugged me up so much since I went schizo that I haven't had the energy to do much.
Now I'm bringing myself off the drugs I'm cutting myself again (cut myself last night), but it's not something to be ashamed of. It's a part of who I am at the moment. In a month the desire to cut may have vanished and I might be walking around in dirty jeans and ripped T-shirts. Who knows. But it's not anyone's job to tell me if it's wrong or right. (By the way, I never wear jeans).

Shaky
 
samuel-oc235

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#10
the worse people to see them for me is police when im driving
happened the other night got pulled at first he spoke to me ok until he saw my arms n then switched to being really mardy and aggressive made me feel like i was nobody..
 
Magic_Bullet

Magic_Bullet

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#11
Wow... I didn't know police would say anything about them. This is all very interesting because I didn't realize that there seriously was that much stigma... mostly because I tend to keep covered unless I'm at a theme park or out of the state.

You know... I should realize because when young cutters post on Yahoo answers they inevitably get an answer that says, "Kill yourself, emo kid" or something equally obnoxious and ignorant. I really don't get how people end up on those internet anti-cutting tirades.

Worse, they tend to only throw them at people who sound insecure. If you post, "Is this normal?" Or "am I sick in the head?" They'll ambush. If you're confident and collected, the idiots stay away. They're pathetic.

Thankfully, no one in real life has ever said a word to me... about anything I've done... accept for my mother who threatened to cut up all of my clothes so that I can never hide what a freak I am from anyone... then she decided that my habit would make her look like a bad parent, went back into denial and shut up about it.
 
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samuel-oc235

samuel-oc235

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#12
well im from uk so the police are diff here than the us
so i dont no what us police would do
 
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jason

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#13
shaky personly dont agree with meds my self after taking my self of by schizo do you man schizoaffective or schizophrena or are you jst saying it like for ex i say since i went phyco but i havent got pyhcosis well i have symptoms long story you get the idea and i resently went four days in a tea shirt and short and actly realised the more looks are from older or middle aged people witch i absoulutly did not acspect witch in a way is good because this generation may start to lose stigma this means
 
shaky

shaky

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#14
My pdocs diagnosed me with schizophrenia in 2009.
My clothing of choice is barefoot, but my friends seem to get upset when I do and bully me about my meds. So I've adapted some shoes so they have no sole, it looks like I'm wearing shoes , but my bare soles are on the gorund.
No-one has any idea (yet):clap:

I'd also like to walk around naked, but I know that would cause consternation and it's simply too cold in UK at the moment.
 
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jason

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#15
omg that is so wired ive actully never met or spoke to anyone who shares that same view i think that all the time and that we sholdent live in homes we should live where we wont and it should be like the cave man days just with more inteligents basiclly everything natural but i have grown to fond of cloths and intenet to do any of this withc makes me feel a little sad and disapointed
 
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rusaved

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#18
I'm so sorry and saddened to hear of the uncaring, hurtful and hateful responses you all say you've received.
So disappointing.

Jason - I'm also saddened to hear your response - as to the 'why's' - was that it was because of all four reasons that were mentioned.
I wish I could take all that pain away for you.

Have you ever shared what happened to you with anyone?
Do you want to share it here?

I want you to know that someone cares.
I want you to know that you are loved.
That you are loveable.

:grouphug:
 
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jason

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#19
thats so lovly of you to say this and some people just dont understand and carnt be blamed but the police on the other hand can and the police can be like that in the uk as well i once had a police officer put his hand around my throt i was being taken home after i ran from a pshyc meeting witch is why the police officer acted like this

its funny ive heard "I wish I could take all that pain away for you" but i think i kind of deserve it

i tend to not talk about tramor to much as i have bad memery poblems of my childhood and if i think to talk about it to much it gets me very confussed and would realy hate to discover more stuff

thanks for caring
 
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