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Self harm- triggering your anxiety

Jimny

Jimny

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Good morning all, I am wondering if anyone else does this?
At the moment having PTSD I am trying to take it easy with myself deliberately avoiding stressful situations, people and places. Things have got a hell of a lot better, far less intrusive thoughts.
Every now and again for some stupid reason I will deliberately look at something, think something or do something that I know will trigger my anxiety and stress.
What I cant determine is whether this a test for myself to see if I react the same way or whether I want to punish myself. Does anyone relate?
Did it a few times this weekend and whilst my reactions is far less than it would have been, I am not feeling too good as a result.
 
SomersetScorpio

SomersetScorpio

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Yeah I think I know what you mean.

I know that in order for me not to be triggered, I need to avoid the news and certain websites.
Sometimes I get exposed to things that I have no control over - on social media for example, you do see news stories etc. that are upsetting due to people sharing them.

Anyway, sometimes I foolishly click on something even though I know it's going to be upsetting to me. :unsure:

I'll read every comment on an article to either validate my view that the world is unsafe or to hopefully find people who are outraged... actually, I think for me that's a key point.
Sometimes it's not simply the triggering article itself that I look at - it's more important to see other people's reaction because I depend on them for some kind of reassurance (good or bad).

As for why we do this to ourselves? I have no idea. It's strange isn't it.
I wonder if it's because i'm so numb that feeling bad is better than feeling nothing. I don't know though.

I'm sorry that you're not feeling too good having looked at not nice stuff. Take care of yourself. x
 
SomersetScorpio

SomersetScorpio

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That's why I left FB and I never watch or read the news.
I think this is very sensible, actually.

The trouble is Facebook has been good for me in terms of finding out about events and spiritual workshops that I otherwise wouldn't get to hear about.. so I need to weigh up the pros and cons with it really.
But yes - I know I need to avoid the news at all costs, really.
 
C

ChesireCat

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I'm very glad I left. They gather so much personal info on you. I wish I'd never gotten on it in the first place.
 
Jimny

Jimny

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Essex
Thank you both so much for your replies. I have been doing so well, I just sabotaged my progress knowing what the outcome would be.
It was FB, I had closed my account. I went delving in to past people's profiles, I'm such a fool. What did I really expect? Now left with spiralling intrusive thoughts.
I will learn one day. Some apples taste bad.
 
Unique1

Unique1

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I came off Facebook some months ago as it was causing anxiety to me. went back in to have a look a few days ago and what someone had written really triggered me too...I felt dreadful....couldn't stop ruminating about it..panics the lot...
It does pass jimny, as you probably know....
It helps me to know others are similar,I don't feel as much of a freak..

X
 
Gajolene

Gajolene

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I've drifted away from FB as well as I find it so triggering, but I keep it open to check on my relatives from time to time. I also focus more on the community page I put together for support links than I do on my personal pages. I hardly ever post on my personal page, and know certain people from my past and family members will trigger me so I stay away from that as well.
 
Jimny

Jimny

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Trust me you are not alone, and never a freak.
The thing that gets me is I had never used it until I met someone who uses FB constantly, I had no interest.
It became very apparent from that person that it can be used for all manner things, mostly bad.
I know they are my reactions and I can choose not to look but I regret the day I ever used it, it's not for me.
Please don't get me wrong, I see its uses and I appreciate those that benefit from it. Just in the wrong hands like most things I found it can be very damaging.
 
Unique1

Unique1

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Glad I read this post in respect of facebook, it was a big trigger for me when I was in there some time ago. I felt as if I was on my own in feeling like this. People from prior to me having my melt down would really trigger me...a lot of it felt bullyish, and like people were trying to be something they aren't, or having a fab time ..also putting up things to have a go at people, it really did have a massive affect on me...
A lot of the stuff people say on facebook they wouldn't say to someone's face, it felt like an excuse for people to bully others too....glad I'm out of it ...:)
 
Unique1

Unique1

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Reassuring jim thanks !

It upset me so many times in the past.
Like you say I think used correctly I'm sure it's got its positive uses, x
 
Jimny

Jimny

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I completely relate to that, for me it was incorperated in to my abuse with mainly the use of photos. Some are to clever to write comments, that would be too straight forward.
 
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