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Self harm: is seeing the damage important to anyone else?



Nov 25, 2019
Northern Ireland
Hi this is my first post here having just joined. I struggle with Borderline personality disorder and self harm. I recently read online that a need to see the damage that is done when self harming has links to BPD and I wondered if this was important to anyone else? For me the act of harming myself does not seem to calm my emotions, until I see the damage I've done, I get great relief from this and it is the reason I began self harming in the first place. My plan is and has been for a while to stop self harming, but after many failed attempts I feel if I can gain a greater understanding of why I self harm, and in the way that I do, it might help me to cut it out at the source. So my question is, for anyone who self harms; is seeing the damage an important part of the process?

so sad

Well-known member
Feb 24, 2016
HI, yes its important to me. I'm not sure about the link to that specific element to BPD but I'm no expert. No other types of self harm calm me quite the same. I did have a really god run of not doing it but I have too much on right now and have resorted to harming again.
For me, its about finding out what the motion is that you're trying to 'manage' with the self harming. That's not as easy as it sounds but if you don't know what the self harm is trying to calm then its harder to stop. I did 12 months of dialectical behavioural therapy and that has helped.


Nov 13, 2019
Anchorage, Alaska
For me, I self-harm because I want my favorite person to see how much pain I’m in.

it doesn’t work.