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Self harm for approval.

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Orphanannie89

Well-known member
Joined
Apr 25, 2020
Messages
105
Location
PR25
I dont want to offend anyone here, I just need some support because I am really worrying about this. Does anyone here Self harm to get pity from people. I think I do. I dont share what I do on social media, nor do I tell every Tim, Dick or Harry who will listen but I choose certain people to tell so that I can keep them in my life. I rely heavily on these people and they are really only friends. I feel this is a really big problem. It doesn't stop there. I obsess over them. Constantly watching them on social media, wondering who they are talking to and why, if they are online, are they not speaking to me. This can go on for hours. Please help.
 
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Orphanannie89

Well-known member
Joined
Apr 25, 2020
Messages
105
Location
PR25
i dont, i self harms for relief and punishment, are you disagnosed with anything? :hug:
Nothing as yet but I am beginning to think I may have a personality disorder. Hug to you too my love xx
 
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Prycejosh1987

Well-known member
Joined
Jul 7, 2020
Messages
620
Location
UK
I think you should expand on who you speak to about your issues, Tom and Dick might not listen but Harry will. Just choose wisely because there are people out there that make people feel worse. Go to your surrounding family and friends, and not so much to social media.
 
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WhySoSerious

Well-known member
Joined
Oct 16, 2019
Messages
267
Location
UK
I dont want to offend anyone here, I just need some support because I am really worrying about this. Does anyone here Self harm to get pity from people. I think I do. I dont share what I do on social media, nor do I tell every Tim, Dick or Harry who will listen but I choose certain people to tell so that I can keep them in my life. I rely heavily on these people and they are really only friends. I feel this is a really big problem. It doesn't stop there. I obsess over them. Constantly watching them on social media, wondering who they are talking to and why, if they are online, are they not speaking to me. This can go on for hours. Please help.
Wow what a brave thing to admit to! So many people would not be able to say this publicly and face potential responses so that's mighty impressive.

As for the points you raised...

Is self-harming effective in getting your needs met? By that I mean does it do the job that you need it to do? What do people DO when you self-harm or say you may? What are the downsides to this? Is a friendship/relationship based on pity that you have self harmed something you think is valuable or genuine?

How can you get positive relationships/friendships without self-harming? Is there anything else that you can do that can get that same response without doing this?
 
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khuang

Well-known member
Joined
Jun 26, 2014
Messages
859
Location
Avenue Q in the US
I never heard of hurting yourself just to get attention before. It does seem unusual. I know that I self harmed mainly because I secretly felt like I needed to be punished for a lot of things inside my head that I was repressing. I somehow convinced myself that what I was doing was for cosmetic reasons when that wasn’t the case. I haven’t self harmed in over a decade but every now and then I want to be I find talking with someone about how I’m feeling at that moment helps me not to do it.
 
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