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Self-Harm Because of Appearance

L

Listerine98

Well-known member
Joined
Sep 17, 2021
Messages
58
Location
Seattle
I’ve posted in the Depression forum before but as I’ve been dealing with these feelings more and more, I thought here might be more appropriate. Every single day I think about killing myself because of the way I look. I have a massive and oddly shaped head and an extremely long face. I’ve been teased about the way I look since I was 14. I didn’t ask to be born this way and im completely screwed out of having a normal life. I’m so sick of this, I can’t even put it into words. I’m so tempted to just hurt myself hoping it’ll all be over. I feel like I’ve been cheated out of a normal life and I feel like crying everytime I think about what it could have been. I’m tall but that’s all I have. I don’t need to be the sexiest man alive, I just want to be able to go places without being worried about laughed at. It’s unbearable. I feel like I need to hide in my house whenever I’m not working or doing errands. I feel like girls won’t date me because of my head size. I’m at the end of my rope. Therapy won’t help because it won’t change the way I look and it won’t change people making fun of me. I feel cursed. I wish I was never born. I don’t know if I can really express how torturous my existence feels. If my brother hadnt already died, I know I would have killed myself by now. I can’t do that to my family. It doesn’t feel like I should be living. I have to hold back tears every single night
 
C

celticlass

Well-known member
Joined
May 7, 2011
Messages
1,492
Location
Scotland
Hi
I am going up to my bed soon, mainly because I am fed up of being me.and alone. But I read your post and thought I would jot down a reply before I go. I am so sorry that you are feeling this way but also for the loss of your brother. You clearly have a good heart in thinking about your family. I don't think you can be just that old as you talk of girls not wanting to date you etc I tend to think most dates occur between two people who already know one another a little bit. So I know just now is not the best time for face to face classes and interest groups but a lot going on by Zoom. Once you have checked with your doctor about your mental health and what they think, maybe you could have a think about one or two classes you could tap into? Might work better to connect with girls with similar interests.
I don't know if you have any particular interest in fashion, but would you say you have any particular style? If not maybe that is something you could work on? If affordable a consultation with a good hairdresser could also help you move towards a style, and maybe colour, that would work well for you. Finally - get a dog or start walking.one for somebody. You will feel better and will get easy introductions to lots of different people. Good luck.
 
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