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Self Harm and guilt?

simonr1978

simonr1978

Well-known member
Joined
Dec 22, 2018
Messages
192
Might be a bit of an odd one, but has anyone experienced this? In my case, I've formed a friendship with a work colleague and since we've become friends outside of work too she's noticed my marks. We've spoken about it to a certain degree and I've been up front that I can't promise her I wont do so in future, but since she's asked me not too I will try. Which in turn makes me feel like I've let her down when I do.

She also seems to have recently convinced herself that it's something to do with her, I think I've convinced her it's not, but I'm not sure.

I don't feel any guilt over what I do to myself, for me it acts as a pressure valve and for the most part I try to keep any marks covered so it doesn't bother others but the hot weather has made that a bit more difficult, it does concern me when it upsets other people though.

So if anyone's willing to share, how to you cope with any similar feelings? If it's not applicable to me, it might help someone else.
 
J

Jules5

Well-known member
Joined
Jan 27, 2019
Messages
1,577
Location
Florida
Are your marks from self harm? People always try to get me stop-something I was not able to do at the time. I have been free from self harm over a year. I was put on risiperdone and it took away the urge. It also took away my desire for living. I am finally getting off this med and so far no self harm We will see how it works. I feel for you as self harm is very very very hard to stop. Not sure how to advice you outside of no guilt if you self harm. Lots of hugs and Love No Fears and No Worries Jules
 
Z

Zoe1

Well-known member
Joined
Jul 8, 2019
Messages
3,362
Location
Nowhere
hi Simon

I found it very interesting the guideline at the top of the self harm forum
on how to help someone who self harms

maybe you can print it out
and offer her a copy if she is concerned

:grouphug:
 
white_nightshade

white_nightshade

Well-known member
Joined
Sep 21, 2019
Messages
146
Location
canada
Might be a bit of an odd one, but has anyone experienced this? In my case, I've formed a friendship with a work colleague and since we've become friends outside of work too she's noticed my marks. We've spoken about it to a certain degree and I've been up front that I can't promise her I wont do so in future, but since she's asked me not too I will try. Which in turn makes me feel like I've let her down when I do.

She also seems to have recently convinced herself that it's something to do with her, I think I've convinced her it's not, but I'm not sure.

I don't feel any guilt over what I do to myself, for me it acts as a pressure valve and for the most part I try to keep any marks covered so it doesn't bother others but the hot weather has made that a bit more difficult, it does concern me when it upsets other people though.

So if anyone's willing to share, how to you cope with any similar feelings? If it's not applicable to me, it might help someone else.
I've learned to let it run like water off a ducks back. it was years ago I was self harming. the scars are what bug people. but honestly they werent there, they didn't know fuck all about me or what I'd been going through. or how hard it was to stop.

their opinions of me are as good as garbage to me. even if it's out of concern. it's not their buisness.
 
simonr1978

simonr1978

Well-known member
Joined
Dec 22, 2018
Messages
192
Are your marks from self harm? People always try to get me stop-something I was not able to do at the time.
They are, yes. I don't think I can be more specific without breaking forum rules.

I have been free from self harm over a year. I was put on risiperdone and it took away the urge. It also took away my desire for living. I am finally getting off this med and so far no self harm We will see how it works. I feel for you as self harm is very very very hard to stop. Not sure how to advice you outside of no guilt if you self harm. Lots of hugs and Love No Fears and No Worries Jules
Thanks, I am under some pressure to speak to a doctor at the moment which I am very reluctant to do, I really don't want medication since I feel I have valid reasons for feeling the way I do and I don't want to chemically alter the way I'm feeling (That probably sounds a bit conspiracy theorist sounding and I'm really not that way inclined!).

I've learned to let it run like water off a ducks back. it was years ago I was self harming. the scars are what bug people. but honestly they werent there, they didn't know fuck all about me or what I'd been going through. or how hard it was to stop.

their opinions of me are as good as garbage to me. even if it's out of concern. it's not their buisness.
In most cases I'd agree, but since I actually like her (which is unusual in itself) and she genuinely seems to care, it concerns me that she's concerned about it and I don't like to worry her since she's got more than enough of her own worries to begin with.
 
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