• Welcome! It’s great to see you.

    If you'd like to talk with people who know what it's like

    Our forum members are people, maybe like yourself, who experience mental health difficulties or who have had them at some point in their life.

Self harm advice welcome please



Well-known member
Feb 7, 2021
Hi, I am trying to Google for some advice, but I am not putting the right things in the search box to get the result I am looking for. There is a person who makes superficial, but numerous marks on themselves regularly now. They present as happy and enjoying life, have friends and interests. After they have made the marks, they say that it because feelings of hating themselves and their bodies, everyone hating them etc suddenly overwhelmed them. Like a switch flicking. So literally after a period of feeling great about themselves, no warning apparently, their mindset is super negative.

Is there a term for that rapid change in mood relating to self harm? The conversations we have had about recognising early signs have proved fruitless, as she says there are none, she just feels like it. She has been able to engage with things like holding ice cubes, drawing on her hands and arms, but will only do this when she is feeling fine.


Well-known member
Forum Guide
Nov 10, 2019
You could read about DBT

I will look for a link

A person can take a course in it but i think it needs a referral via the doctor

I don't know lots about it but i think we all distract ourselves from upsetting memories or current difficulties in life, as we go about our day. We reach a point where we are maybe on our own or have been stressed, and then use something to help us when those emotions hit.

Some people smoke, have coffee, drink alcohol, take drugs, some go for a walk on their own or run, some go to a pet to stroke or cuddle. Some people eat a lot, some stop eating. Some self-harm.

I am sure it is not that simple but this is my basic understanding.

I often will write on a forum or have a coffee and look out of the window.

Self love is very important to me, and forgiveness of my mistakes. Caring and having sympathy and respect for ourselves is so important.

The type of harm chosen needs to be changed for something else i think. Something comforting and nurturing.

I have heard people say that the emotion needs to be felt, not dissociated from. Mindfullness is used by some people. Feel the feeling, accept the feeling, it is a sign of life, it hurts sometimes to feel strong emotions. I think some people self-harm because they have become numb due to that intense uncomfortable emotion.


Self-harm is not a sign of emotionally unstable personality disorder but people with that sometimes Self-harm in that way so reading about that might help.


Well-known member
Feb 7, 2021
It is the instant switch from feeling great to the absolute opposite that is confusing me. No warning signs for me to look out for and she says she doesn't get any either, it just comes on and overtakes her mind.
Similar threads
Thread starter Title Forum Replies Date
D I've seen a girl causing self harm on a live app,what should i do?,need advice. Self Harm Forum 3
L I want to Self Harm Self Harm Forum 3
N Sleep Deprivation Used To Self Harm Self Harm Forum 5
MiniThoughts Any methods of distraction from intrusive thoughts that lead to self-harm? Self Harm Forum 10
L Self harm cheating partner Self Harm Forum 5
TheSadnessWillLastForever Is it supposed to hurt this much? *TW Self Harm* Self Harm Forum 7
A Self harm when feeling guilty Self Harm Forum 3
N Diabetics Who Self Harm (TRIGGER WARNING) Self Harm Forum 4
J I just keep self harm Self Harm Forum 4
S I wanted to self harm but I couldn't bring myself to do it Self Harm Forum 3
Luneup Fell back into self harm. Self Harm Forum 6
Hello513 I swear to never self harm, or attempt suicide again. Self Harm Forum 7
B Self Harm Addiction Self Harm Forum 6
O Does the urge to self harm ever go away? Self Harm Forum 6
L Self harm Self Harm Forum 14
J What does it take for doctors to take my self harm seriously? Self Harm Forum 4
G self harm tonight Self Harm Forum 8
L Self harm instead of suicide Self Harm Forum 28
J Have Self Harm Sores All Over Myself Right Now Self Harm Forum 5
G Increase self harm when starting meds Self Harm Forum 3
F Why do people sometimes self harm on their face? Self Harm Forum 40
R Self harm Self Harm Forum 2
G Self harm and A&E? Self Harm Forum 12
frenchiebpd I have a strong urge to self harm and don't know how to get rid of it Self Harm Forum 2
T Self harm scars & prevention Self Harm Forum 2
J Do I need to know why I self harm in order to stop? Self Harm Forum 4
L I self harmed last night and feel ashamed and embarrassed again Self Harm Forum 7
L Dreams about self-harming Self Harm Forum 1
L what causes self-destructive behavior? Self Harm Forum 6
EarthChild Self harmed a lot today Feel like ending my life Self Harm Forum 8
G Self harming. Self Harm Forum 4
maggie0123 started self-harming again Self Harm Forum 9
D Help: i talk to my self too much defending my abusers Self Harm Forum 3
Zardos I've Been Thinking Of Self-harming All Morning. Self Harm Forum 6
T self harming because im a failure Self Harm Forum 22
F I have recently started having thoughts of self harming Self Harm Forum 5
midnightphoenix please dont do self harms Self Harm Forum 3
midnightphoenix self harms Self Harm Forum 9
D Please get help for self harming as soon as you can. My story Self Harm Forum 3
J Self harmed Self Harm Forum 261
E I harm myself when drinking Self Harm Forum 7
sam999 advice:) Self Harm Forum 2

Similar threads