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Self harm advice welcome please

C

CabbageMama

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Feb 7, 2021
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UK
Hi, I am trying to Google for some advice, but I am not putting the right things in the search box to get the result I am looking for. There is a person who makes superficial, but numerous marks on themselves regularly now. They present as happy and enjoying life, have friends and interests. After they have made the marks, they say that it because feelings of hating themselves and their bodies, everyone hating them etc suddenly overwhelmed them. Like a switch flicking. So literally after a period of feeling great about themselves, no warning apparently, their mindset is super negative.

Is there a term for that rapid change in mood relating to self harm? The conversations we have had about recognising early signs have proved fruitless, as she says there are none, she just feels like it. She has been able to engage with things like holding ice cubes, drawing on her hands and arms, but will only do this when she is feeling fine.
 
Tawny

Tawny

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You could read about DBT

I will look for a link

A person can take a course in it but i think it needs a referral via the doctor

I don't know lots about it but i think we all distract ourselves from upsetting memories or current difficulties in life, as we go about our day. We reach a point where we are maybe on our own or have been stressed, and then use something to help us when those emotions hit.

Some people smoke, have coffee, drink alcohol, take drugs, some go for a walk on their own or run, some go to a pet to stroke or cuddle. Some people eat a lot, some stop eating. Some self-harm.

I am sure it is not that simple but this is my basic understanding.

I often will write on a forum or have a coffee and look out of the window.

Self love is very important to me, and forgiveness of my mistakes. Caring and having sympathy and respect for ourselves is so important.

The type of harm chosen needs to be changed for something else i think. Something comforting and nurturing.

I have heard people say that the emotion needs to be felt, not dissociated from. Mindfullness is used by some people. Feel the feeling, accept the feeling, it is a sign of life, it hurts sometimes to feel strong emotions. I think some people self-harm because they have become numb due to that intense uncomfortable emotion.

DBT
Mindfullness

Self-harm is not a sign of emotionally unstable personality disorder but people with that sometimes Self-harm in that way so reading about that might help.
 
C

CabbageMama

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Feb 7, 2021
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It is the instant switch from feeling great to the absolute opposite that is confusing me. No warning signs for me to look out for and she says she doesn't get any either, it just comes on and overtakes her mind.
 
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