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Self Harm Addiction

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Butterfly3

Well-known member
Joined
May 20, 2020
Messages
92
Location
England
Has anyone else found their self harm to be an addiction? So I hadn’t done it in like 9 months and I am so well mentally at the minute, like I’m actually happy and loving life (obviously still some struggles) but I still think about it and miss it and crave that feeling you get during and after it and the sense of release from everything. The other day sadly I did give into my urges and not because I couldn’t fight it but because I think I wanted it? Like I honestly love it. I don’t know if that sounds really weird and messed up or if anyone else feels this way? If you have felt this way how did you get through it?
 
S

Scapes1986

ACCOUNT CLOSED
Joined
Apr 10, 2020
Messages
4,174
Location
Venus
I’m sry your feeling this way but how great it is that your feeling good too. I think the most think just stopped me in any kind of self harm was the embarrassment of it all, getting caught, and the fact that I was no longer in that point in my life. Lots of things make me stop.
 
TheSadnessWillLastForever

TheSadnessWillLastForever

Well-known member
Joined
Oct 28, 2019
Messages
75
Location
Ohio
I feel the same way, I don't even want to try at recovery because I love SH so much, I don't know what could possibly make me wanna stop. Im just not at that point in my life
 
G

george81

Well-known member
Joined
Aug 21, 2019
Messages
208
Location
UK
Has anyone else found their self harm to be an addiction? So I hadn’t done it in like 9 months and I am so well mentally at the minute, like I’m actually happy and loving life (obviously still some struggles) but I still think about it and miss it and crave that feeling you get during and after it and the sense of release from everything. The other day sadly I did give into my urges and not because I couldn’t fight it but because I think I wanted it? Like I honestly love it. I don’t know if that sounds really weird and messed up or if anyone else feels this way? If you have felt this way how did you get through it?
I totally understand. I've been doing it since the age of 15 and now I'm 39 and still rely on it to help me through the bad times. I can honestly say I have no desire to stop, I have no other way to suppress my feelings/help with the hatred. I am drinking a lot now but it helps with certain things but the desire to SH is very much still there. x take care x
 
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Quietman5

Well-known member
Joined
Dec 10, 2018
Messages
67
It can become self satisfying. Unfortunately I’ve been doing it off and on since I’ve been nine as a form of punishment. I also use it when I’m spiraling just to feel something anything other than nothing. I know there are healthier coping mechanisms available but when you really need to come back to reality it works. Good luck all
 
R

Ray53

Member
Joined
Nov 22, 2020
Messages
24
Location
Oxford
Has anyone else found their self harm to be an addiction? So I hadn’t done it in like 9 months and I am so well mentally at the minute, like I’m actually happy and loving life (obviously still some struggles) but I still think about it and miss it and crave that feeling you get during and after it and the sense of release from everything. The other day sadly I did give into my urges and not because I couldn’t fight it but because I think I wanted it? Like I honestly love it. I don’t know if that sounds really weird and messed up or if anyone else feels this way? If you have felt this way how did you get through it?
9 years I was self harming. Your words the same as mine back then. I know how you feel.
I realised I was addicted to it. Not just the feelings and thoughts. The blue lights. The caring copper. The ambulance staff interested in me and speaking to me. I exist!
The clean bed at hospital. All the caring faces. How did I enjoy this?
Today I'm not embarrassed about my scars. If asked, which happens often, I say I used to self harm. I'm not ashamed. I'm proud I stopped.
How?
Thats a hard one. I was berated for self harming once by a psychiatric nurse. I felt like a child. The nurse was quite hard on me. Something inside just clicked... I'm sorry I can't explain it. What I can do is say I've been there and I've changed. I'm still all over the place but I don't hurt my body anymore.
Keep asking for help. If the help isn't for you try someone else. Keep going. Keep trying.
Winston Churchill once said.
When going through hell keep going.
There is a good place out there for you. Keep looking. You'll find it I'm sure. X
 

Attachments

B

Butterfly3

Well-known member
Joined
May 20, 2020
Messages
92
Location
England
9 years I was self harming. Your words the same as mine back then. I know how you feel.
I realised I was addicted to it. Not just the feelings and thoughts. The blue lights. The caring copper. The ambulance staff interested in me and speaking to me. I exist!
The clean bed at hospital. All the caring faces. How did I enjoy this?
Today I'm not embarrassed about my scars. If asked, which happens often, I say I used to self harm. I'm not ashamed. I'm proud I stopped.
How?
Thats a hard one. I was berated for self harming once by a psychiatric nurse. I felt like a child. The nurse was quite hard on me. Something inside just clicked... I'm sorry I can't explain it. What I can do is say I've been there and I've changed. I'm still all over the place but I don't hurt my body anymore.
Keep asking for help. If the help isn't for you try someone else. Keep going. Keep trying.
Winston Churchill once said.
When going through hell keep going.
There is a good place out there for you. Keep looking. You'll find it I'm sure. X
Thank you for your reply it was really lovely to hear something so positive and kind and what a beautiful picture you have attached! I dont self harm anymore really, but every so often when I get really triggered and dont Want to fight it I will give in and I want to stop that, especially the constant wishing for it. Hopefully one day. Thank you for your reply
 
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