Self-Doubt Within Self-Help

[SicklyBloom]

I used to be into self-help gurus and one, in particular, kept saying "I was creating chaos for myself until..." And you can figure out the rest, they wrote a book and made the bank. What's missing? Well, I certainly am not wealthy nor am I good at stringing lie upon lie into a cheesy love manifesto. I'm not going to lie and say that self-help books haven't helped, but only a few could reach me. I personally think the book "The Secret" is bullcrap. As someone with a mental disorder and perfectionist tendencies, the methods of most self-help books just antagonize my mental traps. I believe all it does is promote self-blame and disappointment to one's psyche. I wish I knew a healthier route to positivity rather than fall back into bad habits. Does anyone else feel this way because self-help is a breeding ground for frauds and kooks alike?

 

[PerpetuallyStuck]

I believe all it does is promote self-blame. Does anyone else feel this way because self-help is a breeding ground for frauds and kooks alike?

I have always despised self help and agree that it promotes blame on the victim. I've had counsellors tell me that "I have to help myself before they can help me" and "you can only control what you do, not what others do". They think that we should "build resilience" which translates to: accept other people bullying you, just put up with it and have a backbone.

They fail to understand the long term suffering that we go through. They can be really arrogant, lack empathy and expect too much.