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Selenophobia

Seth

Seth

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Joined
Nov 8, 2020
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47
Location
Rome
I love the moon - ever since I was little, I always loved looking up at the sky. Astronomy has always been fascinating to me.

But when I was about 4, I remember my grandma (I was living with her at that time) taking me outside to look at the moon because I couldn't sleep. There was an awfully huge, bright full moon. And she said I shouldn't ever be afraid, as the moon was the face of God looking upon us. I'm not sure whether I started to fear the moon before or after that, but what she said definitely stuck with me.

It's not just the full moon, though. I had a period of time during my teenage years when I was really triggered whenever I looked up at the sky when the moon was up, or even during the day when it was foggy and I couldn't see anything in front of me, or when the sun was so perfectly spherical and smooth because of the fog.

Haloes make me feel really uncomfortable and even rainbows, but not rainbow clouds. Although some dark or strangely colored clouds do make me feel scared.

There were times when I literally found myself running for my life into the safety of places where I couldn't see the sky, trying my best not to look up. It feels like torture and it doesn't make sense why it should be like that. Like some sort of invisible force entering my body and weighing me down.

I feel like curling up into a ball and crying. But I don't even know what I'm scared of, or why. Sometimes I'll be browsing the internet and the sight of Google earth would just startle me! Other times it's completely fine.

I've never met anyone with this problem before and it's always been difficult to explain to people that I'm terrified of looking up at the sky. Not to mention I love looking at the sky at the same time! A few months ago it happened, I was really excited about Neowise, but when I went outside, I simply couldn't look up, for fear that I'll see the comet that I truly felt so excited to see!

I sometimes have dreams of the sky being different. Those used to scare me so much - the feeling of emptiness growing inside me. It feels like I'm both being pushed into the ground and forcefully lifted up into the sky. Like I'm being torn apart from the inside.

I wonder if there's anyone else who had a similar experience. Or if there is any explanation that can make me rationalize all this.
 
bpd2020

bpd2020

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May 25, 2020
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6,957
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England
Hello Seth. I am wondering if your grandmother saying the moon was watching you may have made you feel afraid? I think to a child, the thought of being watched could be unsettling. I am sorry you have this fear. It must be very hard for you.
 
Seth

Seth

Well-known member
Joined
Nov 8, 2020
Messages
47
Location
Rome
Hello Seth. I am wondering if your grandmother saying the moon was watching you may have made you feel afraid? I think to a child, the thought of being watched could be unsettling. I am sorry you have this fear. It must be very hard for you.
Hello! I thought the same for a while, which is why I mentioned it, but that still doesn't explain why I have the same reaction to other sky-related things. I also know that I used to be scared of those white trails that planes leave in the sky way before that, as my family often brings up the fact that "I was afraid of planes" as a child.

It's not completely wrong to consider it as a possible cause; however, I don't generally feel scared of "being observed". Quite the opposite, in reality - I sometimes feel like I'm constantly being watched and that makes me feel less lonely, if anything.

Of course, the God thing is yet another story to share - growing up in a religious family wasn't easy for someone like me. First time they mentioned I should pray to God it felt wrong and humiliating. I was also around 3-4 at that time. (I grew up with my grandmother and her mother up to the age of 4-ish, which is why I can tell with certainty that I was no older than 4.)

Thank you for your suggestion, nonetheless!
 
E

Elisante

Taking a break
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May 16, 2020
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Location
Greece
Could it have to do with casadastraphobia? The fear of falling into the sky?

To be honest, by looking at your title I thought you were afraid of Selena Gomez.
 
Seth

Seth

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Joined
Nov 8, 2020
Messages
47
Location
Rome
I mean, not sure about me not being afraid of falling into the sky, but I definitely love looking at the clear blue sky in summer without any consequences other than the feeling of joy and peace.

I'm also afraid of looking at the horizon when I'm at the beach - the sea looks too overwhelming and distorted. If anything, I could have guessed it was some sort of agoraphobia if it weren't for the fact that I love open fields.

Your last comment was funny, although I don't think I ever got a chance to listen to any of her songs 😂
 
E

Elisante

Taking a break
Joined
May 16, 2020
Messages
1,676
Location
Greece
I mean, not sure about me not being afraid of falling into the sky, but I definitely love looking at the clear blue sky in summer without any consequences other than the feeling of joy and peace.

I'm also afraid of looking at the horizon when I'm at the beach - the sea looks too overwhelming and distorted. If anything, I could have guessed it was some sort of agoraphobia if it weren't for the fact that I love open fields.

Your last comment was funny, although I don't think I ever got a chance to listen to any of her songs 😂
Do you also fear very large statues or very large ships and stuff like that? If yes you might have megalophobia. One of the symptoms is being afraid of large bodies of water, so I guess of the sky too.
 
Seth

Seth

Well-known member
Joined
Nov 8, 2020
Messages
47
Location
Rome
Do you also fear very large statues or very large ships and stuff like that? If yes you might have megalophobia. One of the symptoms is being afraid of large bodies of water, so I guess of the sky too.
Not that I'm aware of. I've seen lots of large statues, buildings, etc. Never seen ships in real life, but I don't think I'd be scared.
 
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