C
ConcernedChris
New member
Founding Member
- Joined
- May 21, 2008
- Messages
- 3
I'm not one hundred percent sure this is the right place to post this, and if it isn't, I'd appreciate it if someone would be so kind as to direct me to a better place to go.
So, basically, the story goes, I've had a great relationship with this girl for about four and half months, and when I say great, I mean it. When we were together, we were very happy and couldn't stand being away from each other. So, me having to spend most of those four months at a school 300 miles away was fairly rough, but we dealt with it just fine. The only moments when we weren't happy together was whenever she was expressing her fear that she'd wind up killing the relationship somehow, but I told her I wouldn't let that happen and made it a promise, which is why I'm here.
Two days ago, ten days before I head back home, she contacts me out of the blue, talking about what a horrible person she is to be in a relationship with and how no one could possibly help her deal with her problems. I spent two and half hours trying to convince her that she was fooling herself into thinking she doesn't deserve happiness, but despite all my efforts, she dumped me.
Afterwards, I began talking to our mutual friends about this and have discovered that she does in fact do this to herself. Whenever she gets too close to someone or something, she pushes it away and kills the relationship because she now believes she can't be happy and is virtually incapable of trusting herself.
I'm not here looking for help to save my relationship (though I do hope to do that). I'm here looking for help to save my friend. All of her friends and I are interested in doing whatever we can to help her overcome this, but she has made excuses and paid no heed to us when we've confronted her in the past individually. We're all just trying to figure out what we can or should do to help her out.
I should mention here that she's had a fairly rough upbringing, has a year old son, and actually refuses to seek professional help. Her apathy and delusion that she's worthless repeatedly drive her into depression and self-loathing, and all of us who love her would like to put a stop to it, for her sake.
So, basically, the story goes, I've had a great relationship with this girl for about four and half months, and when I say great, I mean it. When we were together, we were very happy and couldn't stand being away from each other. So, me having to spend most of those four months at a school 300 miles away was fairly rough, but we dealt with it just fine. The only moments when we weren't happy together was whenever she was expressing her fear that she'd wind up killing the relationship somehow, but I told her I wouldn't let that happen and made it a promise, which is why I'm here.
Two days ago, ten days before I head back home, she contacts me out of the blue, talking about what a horrible person she is to be in a relationship with and how no one could possibly help her deal with her problems. I spent two and half hours trying to convince her that she was fooling herself into thinking she doesn't deserve happiness, but despite all my efforts, she dumped me.
Afterwards, I began talking to our mutual friends about this and have discovered that she does in fact do this to herself. Whenever she gets too close to someone or something, she pushes it away and kills the relationship because she now believes she can't be happy and is virtually incapable of trusting herself.
I'm not here looking for help to save my relationship (though I do hope to do that). I'm here looking for help to save my friend. All of her friends and I are interested in doing whatever we can to help her overcome this, but she has made excuses and paid no heed to us when we've confronted her in the past individually. We're all just trying to figure out what we can or should do to help her out.
I should mention here that she's had a fairly rough upbringing, has a year old son, and actually refuses to seek professional help. Her apathy and delusion that she's worthless repeatedly drive her into depression and self-loathing, and all of us who love her would like to put a stop to it, for her sake.