P
Ppsh
New member
Hi. I'm not sure if this is in the right section but given that I'm technically diagnosed with depression I figure here is better then anywhere else. I'm seeking advice on... my diagnosis, I suppose. I've been thinking a lot lately about depression, my past social phobias and researching other illnesses etc.
So to start with, a little history.
I'm 18, male and currently on anti-depressants (lexapro). I have been heavily depressed for so long it's hard to remember myself as anything else. I managed to get through primary school pretty easily, but when I entered high school I had serious difficulties adjusting to the different social situations... I turned from shy to plain antisocial and eventually to the point where I would want to kill someone just for looking at me.
I quit highschool when I was 15 as I was to the point where just the idea of going to school would send me into a panic attack and I was very suicidal. I'm still convinced that if I had stayed, I wouldn't be here now.
Anyway, I was depressed from about... I estimate the start of puberty, maybe a year or two before that even. I've done fairly badly in school, although I never really understood why... I always thought In the past it was because I was sad and not interested in learning... but I really feel like I was wrong when I look back at my actions. I've always been deeply fascinated by science and always wanted to learn a lot more about it... but whenever I try to read books or w/e I either get bored or distracted or frustrated (generally a combo of the three) and give up. Sometimes it feels like it's impossible to finish anything.
To cut a long boring story short, I have recently started to feel better from the AD's i'm on, but it's still... well, I still get heavily depressed sometimes. More importantly though I still have a lot of difficulty doing work, whether it is school work, reading a book or anything in general that I don't feel interested in. I know that's fairly natural... most people don't like doing things they don't want to do.
But I find it almost impossible to focus on things unless I'm deeply interested in them. I've been reading up on ADHD lately and it feels like a lot of the symptoms are things I have. Mainly the focus and attention span...
Basically, I think perhaps I'm depressed because I've always felt bad at doing things other people are good at, schoolwork, etc. and that I have a different problem that is causing that. It's worth noting too that I have several cousins with ADHD and from what I know it's commonly hereditary.
I would talk to my doctor about this but... it feels embarrassing coming up with my own diagnosis for some reason, so I was wondering if anyone had any thoughts? Am I just being delusional or what?
I'm also curious more about medication for ADHD and the difference between it & AD's. I've read about certain similarities it just sounds to me like amphetamines could be more helpful to me. I'm aware people abuse that drug too which is another reason I feel hesitant to bring it up with my doctor.
So to start with, a little history.
I'm 18, male and currently on anti-depressants (lexapro). I have been heavily depressed for so long it's hard to remember myself as anything else. I managed to get through primary school pretty easily, but when I entered high school I had serious difficulties adjusting to the different social situations... I turned from shy to plain antisocial and eventually to the point where I would want to kill someone just for looking at me.
I quit highschool when I was 15 as I was to the point where just the idea of going to school would send me into a panic attack and I was very suicidal. I'm still convinced that if I had stayed, I wouldn't be here now.
Anyway, I was depressed from about... I estimate the start of puberty, maybe a year or two before that even. I've done fairly badly in school, although I never really understood why... I always thought In the past it was because I was sad and not interested in learning... but I really feel like I was wrong when I look back at my actions. I've always been deeply fascinated by science and always wanted to learn a lot more about it... but whenever I try to read books or w/e I either get bored or distracted or frustrated (generally a combo of the three) and give up. Sometimes it feels like it's impossible to finish anything.
To cut a long boring story short, I have recently started to feel better from the AD's i'm on, but it's still... well, I still get heavily depressed sometimes. More importantly though I still have a lot of difficulty doing work, whether it is school work, reading a book or anything in general that I don't feel interested in. I know that's fairly natural... most people don't like doing things they don't want to do.
But I find it almost impossible to focus on things unless I'm deeply interested in them. I've been reading up on ADHD lately and it feels like a lot of the symptoms are things I have. Mainly the focus and attention span...
Basically, I think perhaps I'm depressed because I've always felt bad at doing things other people are good at, schoolwork, etc. and that I have a different problem that is causing that. It's worth noting too that I have several cousins with ADHD and from what I know it's commonly hereditary.
I would talk to my doctor about this but... it feels embarrassing coming up with my own diagnosis for some reason, so I was wondering if anyone had any thoughts? Am I just being delusional or what?
I'm also curious more about medication for ADHD and the difference between it & AD's. I've read about certain similarities it just sounds to me like amphetamines could be more helpful to me. I'm aware people abuse that drug too which is another reason I feel hesitant to bring it up with my doctor.
